[nat_ash_a]

In a few months I'm going to get married to my fiancé who works in a bank. Now the problem is that it is going to be a settled marriage for me. My fiancé is not so handsome looking, so most of my relatives are quite in shock that why did I choose this man to make him my life partner. Various people make various comment about him but not in front of me rather at my back.
When I talk to my fiancé over the phone at night I like his attitude and behaviour towards me but whenever I went out with him I don't know why I feel a strange hesitation & act very formal. I never look at him when my fiancé talks to me or asks me anything. My father who told me that Marriage is a gamble... so don't think too much about whether to accept him as my life partner. Based on his mental peace moreover his judgment I said yes to my fiance's offer to get married to him. I'm trying to like him but I get concerned about my future sometime. What if I can not love him truly even after we get married? Sometime I ask myself have I fallen in love with him? Can I live the rest of my life with my fiancé? I don't know what to do. I can not go back & break my fiance's heart because I know he likes me a lot. Is there any way I could get to love him truly.

[DoulaLC]

There can be cultural differences of what is acceptable and what isn't, so what you might do may depend on where you live and how you were raised.

However, if you don't know whether you love him, if you are hoping you might actually fall in love with him after you get married, and if you can't even look at him when he talks to you, those are red flags, or reasons to rethink if you are making the right decision.

Maybe you just need more time to get to know him better, maybe you are nervous about getting married and all that involves, maybe you know in your heart that he is not someone you want to be married to. Yes, if you told him you aren't ready to marry him, he will be hurt... but he would also be hurt if you did marry him and didn't really love him. You would be unhappy and so would he.

By telling him you just aren't ready yet, it gives you more time to discover how you really feel. He may also decide someone else is more suitable for him as a life partner.

You can ask for more time, and see how you feel... or you can get married and do all that you can to make it a wonderful relationship while hoping you will eventually truly love him. It works for some couples, they do grow to love each other, but it doesn't work for others.

[rg61fc]

By asking, "Am I in love with my fiance?" you answered your own question. If you have to ask than your not. I knew right away that I loved my current wife from the moment I met her to today. I was married before and settled in that relationship and it turned into a nightmare! Trust me marriage is not to be entered lightly, marriage is hard enough with a person you do love, if you don't truly love the person it is impossible and will end in a lot of pain for you and him!

[liz28]

First, if you love someone it wouldn't matter to you what others think and if your family doesn't like him because of his looks than something is wrong with them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is skin deep. At the end of the day all that matters is the way that person treats you and if the two of you are compatible, respect, and trust.

If you don't love your fiancé then why even get married? Married is easy to get into but hard to get out of. I am getting married and I love my fiancé very much. He is my better half and best friend. I love everything about him including his flaws and accept him for who he is. If you don't even feel an ounce of this towards your fiancé than leave now because you can force yourself to love someone. This is something that happens naturally.

If you already feel uncomfortable showing affection towards him and can't look at him directly how do you plan on living with him or engage in sexual actitives with him once the two of you married? You know if and when your in love and this is something that you wouldn't question.

[yaode3zy]

It seems you love the man, but you there are things about him that you have not yet accepted. =/