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hurtnconfused · Mar 2, 2009, 02:51 AM

I was out with my new guy (not exclusive, we're seeing each other, physical relationship)just the other night and he invited me to his sports event which was yesterday, where he will be coaching. He reminded me a few times throughout the night and told me he wanted me to go. We parted ways and he called to make sure I got home OK and told me he would see me yesterday and will call me that morning. Never heard from him. But I did send him a text, knowing it may take some time for him to reply because he's coaching- asking if he's still at the event, how things are going, hoping I would get the invite again because I didn't want to just pop in without confirming that he still wanted me there. When I sent that text, it was only an hour after the event had started and it would be an all day thing. When he invited me, he even told me that even if I couldn't make it to the event, then he would still like to grab dinner afterwards when I'm available. So knowing this, I sent him another text a few hours later asking him if he would still like to grab dinner after his event. No reply... Nothing at all yesterday, nothing today. Not even an apology or explanation, which surprised me. Because even though he's been a bit flakey before, I would eventually hear from him by the next day.

I know he will eventually contact me because this is how he is unfortunately but when he does, if he doesn't have a good explanation, do I let him know he's an jerk and tell him I want nothing to do with him anymore because I'm getting tired of it? Or should I just ignore from now on and give him no explanation, and hope he will stop contacting me?

BIGGEST PROBLEM: I'm still so incredibly attracted to him and can't stop thinking about him, so to be honest, I don't want to give him up, yet I don't want to be blown off like this.

posey_84 · Mar 2, 2009, 04:12 AM

I wudnt give up on him. He may have a decent excuse but his behaviour does seem odd. Have u told him how u feel?

hurtnconfused · Mar 2, 2009, 04:33 AM

I haven't talked to him since he blew me off the other day, but he did something similar before. And I told him I didn't appreciate that. Things got better after that for a while, but now he just did it again.

I'm just curious as to what his excuse might be. Because even if he was too busy to reply all day on Saturday, he still had all day today to contact me.

posey_84 · Mar 2, 2009, 04:46 AM

Do u think maybe he could be seeing someone else? Sorry just a thought

ylaira · Mar 2, 2009, 11:11 AM

If he's into you, he'll make a way to contact you. And by the way, your relationship isn't that deep to expect.

Your situation is like asking for a cooked bacon without grease. If you don't want to eat something oily then don't eat bacon.

berrysweetncgurl · Mar 2, 2009, 12:42 PM

Sorry Im not much help, I am in kind of the same situation... Flakey Dude and all

Hope all is well GIrl!:confused:

hurtnconfused · Mar 2, 2009, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by ylaira

If he's into you, he'll make a way to contact you.

And if he does, do I just let it slide since our relationship isn't too deep to expect anything? Or should I still just forget about him?

MsMewiththat · Mar 2, 2009, 02:33 PM

Unless you are interested in this type of life EXIT STAGE LEFT. Sometimes you can walk away and really find that this person wasn't the best choice. He can be wonderful but something is making him not value your time enough to take the time to let you know that he has either changed his mind about having company at the event or has changed his mind about you being that company at the event. The problem here isn't really as much of what he did, it's that you told him how you feel about it and it continues to happen. Maybe stated that you aren't that serious... but that only means it will hurt more when you are and he continues to do it. Quit while your ahead. You deserve better than that. Isn't there a saying about never treating someone like a priority in your life while they treat you like an option..

MsMewiththat · Mar 2, 2009, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by hurtnconfused

And if he does, do I just let it slide since our relationship isn't too deep to expect anything? Or should I still just forget about him?

It is very fair with all relationships to have a certain level of expectation... someone keeping their word or at least following up on something isn't that much to ask

jmw0713 · Mar 2, 2009, 02:36 PM

He could have forgot his cell phone or something. Maybe the battery died. There are many reasons he didn't message you back.

I've left my phone at home before, not because I didn't want to be contacted, but because I am scatter brained some days. I don't think this means he flaking out on you. It could just be an innocent mistake.

Now if this is a continuous thing, then maybe there is more to it. Cut the guy a break and give him the benefit of the doubt here.

If he is into you, he will contact you as soon as he has the chance and explain.

If I were you, I would have showed up at the event, since he told you more than once he wanted you to come.

MsMewiththat · Mar 2, 2009, 03:05 PM

I would agree with showing up at the event to the degree that it would most likely unveil whatever questions you currently have. If there was someone else that he was there with you may have found that out.. right then and there. I guess if you knew where it was maybe a trip over wouldn't have been so bad. However, the silence on his part is sketchy at best. If he was expecting you to show up, it would have been reasonable for him to at least text back... maybe you forgot the location or needed direction. I would follow my gut on this one and your gut is telling you something is up with this guy. Move on, don't subject yourself to someone else's standards.

hurtnconfused · Mar 2, 2009, 10:54 PM

I'm definitely giving up on this one. He just did a complete 180 out of the blue and things were actually great. I just have this feeling that when I forget about him, if his life becomes boring he will try to contact me. Like I said he did this before, no contact for a week and when I thought he was out of the picture, he contacts me. And I was a moron to respond.

jmw0713 · Mar 3, 2009, 06:56 AM

Yes, it would be best to let this guy go. If he is not treating you the way you want to be treated and just stringing you along, it's best to cut ties and move one.

Good Luck!

hurtnconfused · Mar 5, 2009, 09:56 AM

Just an update... 3 days ago, he ended up sending me a text apologizing, saying that he was going through a lot the last two days because his mom flew in from another country and his dad wasn't very happy about it (they're divorced). So there was some family drama. And he also told me the event went great. Didn't even mention anything about me not showing up.

I responded telling him I was happy he had a good time there, sorry to hear about the family drama, and hope everything works out. I didn't expect a response after that, but haven't heard back from him.

talaniman · Mar 6, 2009, 01:53 PM

Read my signature and ask yourself why you spend so much time and energy on someone that has other things besides you as a priority?

If you accept bad behavior, you get more of it.

Lose the zero, and get a hero!
(waited a long time to use that oldie, but goodie!)

This isn't the same guy is it?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-323027.html

hurtnconfused · Mar 6, 2009, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Read my signature and ask your self why you spend so much time and energy on someone that has other things besides you as a priority?

If you accept bad behavior, you get more of it.

Lose the zero, and get a hero!
(waited a long time to use that oldie, but goodie!)

This isn't the same guy is it??

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-323027.html

Oh noooo, not the same guy. That one ended up calling more frequently after I had confronted him. But the one I'm talking about in this thread is beginning to do the same thing. I have actually known this one for almost year (not really on a personal level, he just hangs out with my friends and I've ran into him a couple times). And as far as I know, this one doesn't have a girlfriend. We have not had any contact since that last text though so I'm sure he no longer wants to speak to me for whatever reason.

talaniman · Mar 6, 2009, 04:32 PM

I just don't believe in waiting on someone to make time for me.