[dragnflyangell]

My daughter is 15 and she will be a sophomore this year. She flunked 2 out of her 7 classes last year and even with my husband and I working very very hard to make sure she was getting her homework done. I made up a homework schedule. One that she had to get signed everyday and it had a list of her classes that she wrote down what homework she had to do for that class. I e-mailed her teachers twice a month and sometimes they would respond and sometimes they wouldn't. I asked her everyday if she had her homework done and the answer was " oh know I left it in my locker" or I got it done and already handed it in or I got the paper signed and I left it in my locker. I bought a business last school year and I do admit that I am busy but I do my best to do everything in my power to help her. So I guess what I am asking for is ANY advise to help me make sure she can not lie about having it done, or anything that will help my husband and I to help her. Its not that she doesn't know how to do the work she is just lazy and I have tried everything. Please help us! She means everything to me and to see her heading down the wrong path in education scares me. I love her and I want more than anything for her to succeed. She is not sexually active and she doesn't do drugs. She is disrespectful but what 15 year old isn't. She otherwise is a great kid. I just don't want her to have to pay for her laziness in her adult life for not applying herself when she was a teenager. Thanks for listening. Please any advice would be better than what I have now which is zero.

[RickJ]

Old habits are hard to break... for both you and her. It's about the right combination of reward for good behavior and consequences for bad.

Put your foot down.

She can ________ (fill in with what she likes to do: go out with her friends, watch TV... whatever) only after her homework is done, period. Try that and be consistent with it.

... just a thought...

[Krs]

I definitley agree with Rick... PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!
BE STRICT.

Your are the mum, she is a minor, you have to have control over her.

Im 27 and I must admit when I was at school I was lazy and to be honest needed pushing to do homework etc when I was your daughters age.
Also at 15, is the age when I started to want to go out and hang out with my girlie friends, so mum and dad used that as an excuse, sort of if I don't show interest in doing my homework then I can't meet up with my friends till I was ready! And if I rebelled I would be grounded...

Trust me it worked!

[talaniman]

No homework-No social life
Bad GRADES- No social life
Bad attitude -No social life
Chores not done-No social life, no phone, no TV, no nothing
As a parent lay down the rules and stick to them, Punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. That's how I grew up and that's how I raised my kids. Parents set the pace not the kids, NO EXCUSES.

[K_3]

I would tell her you want to see her homework each day. No excuses. I would also talk to the school counselor and say you want to stay on top of her work and homework. It is very easy for a teacher to email you. My step son was sluffing on in school, went from A's & B's to 2 flunk notices overnight. I went in and talked to the teachers, we agreed to talk to each other a couple times a week. Then they emailed me each day his homework assignment and if he had done his work for the day. One morning as I was driving him to school he said "Like, are you always going to talk to my teachers?" I said YES. His grades came up. There was no TV, no computer, no social life until the homework was done. When she finds out your are communicating with her teachers, she will not be able to lie. If the teachers do not answer your email, I would call during class hours and explain to the principal or whoever what you need to do. Stop by the school. My children knew even though I worked I was always going to have communication with the school and teachers and they were not going to get away with anything.
Teachers do appreciate parents who take an active role in their child's education.

[aqua@home]

Hi, I would get the teacher involved with your homework schedule. Have the teacher sign off on what is or isn't done. I send my daughter back to school to get whatever homework she "forgot". When she realizes that finishing homework is not an option, she might pull up her socks.

BTW... have you thought about rewarding her for completed assignments and good grades. It might be another option.

[Fr_Chuck]

Talk to the teachers explain there is a problem, see if they will email you daily her homework, if she won't bring it home, set up punishments,
No computer period unless it is done for so many days correctly, no going out with frineds, ( grounded) no TV in the evening and so on. NO cell phone or no telephone usage.

At some point you will find what it takes to get her to do it.

And I will never rule out the need for some counseling, many teens have issues we as older adults can fully understand.

[dragnflyangell]

Thank you for the advice I can use all the help I can get. Thanks again

[J_9]

Aqua, although I agree with what you said, I have a problem with rewarding what they are expected to do.

My children are expected to do their work. If they don't they get privleges taken away. At that point they have to earn their privileges back.

I do not reward for what is expected, I reward for things that are over and above what is expected.

You really should talk to the teachers. Keep in close contact with them, daily if you have to.

In the past I have had no problem removing everything from my son's bedroom except for the bed. He then had to earn back everything that he lost.

[dsppfc]

Hello, I'm a 17 year old high student who went through the same thing your daughter did. I had a super low GPA in 9th and 10th grade but was able to improve and received straight As in 11th grade, while also competing on my school's academic team. My parents did exactly what everyone else who posted has told you do to and it is very effective. Another thing you might try, that is what really motivated me to do my homework and try in school, is to enroll her in more advanced classes. Peer pressure from more motivated kids is what motivated me to try harder in school and it might also work for your daughter. The new group of friends I made in these classes pressured me to do better in school. I hope this might help you and your daughter a little more. (this worked for me, it might not work for everyone tho)

[cuppycake]

It sounds as though your daughter is losing in to your trust. Well I think you should have a big chat with her and her form tutor or head of her year at school you and your husband and her and talk about how important her school work is and home work is just as important. I take it she goes out with her friends or does activates after school? Well tell her that unless she does her homework she will not be aloud to continue her activities or going out with her friends on weekends or after school. Remind her to do her homework straight after school make her go into her bedroom with out any t.v or music and make her do her homework, make sure you tell her that if she is stuck there is no harm coming to ask you for help, after she has done her homework make sure she brings it to you shows you and if you check it make sure she has done it and hasn't scribbled with careless. Then once she has done with her homework then she can watch t.v and go out with her friends (ect... ) good luck.

[ramanamlv]

HI..
In stead of using force, which might not be effective with teen agers, try to councel her. Take to her frankly about the long term consequences of not being regular in education. Make her understand. The problem with teen agers is that , if they are pestered to do something, they become more resistant.
Be frank and open. Talk her into doing the work seriously.
Ramana