[chasity]

Me and my boyfriend just broke up again for the 3rd time…we have been really close for 7 months… every time we broke up he broke up w/me….. he’s 15 and I am16 he used to date my best friend wand I didn’t ever talk to him so I didn’t really know him… well they broke up and then he had study hall with us… and I noticed him and my friend were getting kind of close again… I didn’t think anything of it… then he wanted to talk to me more and stuff so we ended up talking on the phone… he would call me almost everyday and talk to me and just try t o get to know me… I was a ***** to him and sometimes I wouldn’t answer the phone… I’d ignore him….he asked me out several times I told him no over and over again….my reasons were that my best friend still liked him….that he was 2 grades lower than me……. I just didn’t feel for him….and I thought he was to immature….. well he didn’t give up he asked again…so I did an awful thing and said yes to him because I thought if I did go out with him and just ignored him that he would get over me and break up with me and that I could just walk away and not think anything of it….. we dated for about 2 weeks…. I would hardly talk to him…. And I wouldn’t even give him a hug…I was being a real big *****…. Then one day I just started to think about it and realize that…. I had actually started to like him….. and want a relationship with him…. Because all this time he spent on getting me to go out with him…. He never gave up which made me think hey this guy he really does like me….. but I knew that if I didn’t change and start showing him some attention and that I really liked him he was going to break up with me….so I decided in my mind… it was going to change but it was too late the next day I got a text from him and it said I think we should just be friends… I was like what why?. he just said because you don’t even act like you like me……. It was so bad…. I cried… and asked for a second chance… he said maybe he would give me a second chance if I showed him I liked him just by trying to talk to him and stuff….. so I did I tried to show him I really did like him…. Then we became good friends and I begged for a second chance and he finally asked me out again…. Of course I said yes DUH!! Anyway… the next day he was at church I text him I don’t remember for sure I think I said hey what you doing and he said something I don’t remember what and I thought something was up with him so asked him I said what are you ready to break up again already are something he’s like no….. it wasn’t 30 min later I got a text from him that said he wanted to be single…. Well this time I was sad but more pissed off… I tired talking to him about it in a text one night and then he told me I'm talking to my girlfriend bye… he had started dating this other chick in his grade…. For some reason that made me able to get over it a little bit and I was starting to realize it happened for a reason…and I was doing good with the fact he was with her… until she broke up with him…. And I didn’t know and I text him because we hadn’t talked in a week ever since he had started to date her.. and I was like I miss you and then he told me he missed me 2 and that she broke up with him… I was like o I'm sry… and we started talking and became good friends again…. More like friends with benefits because I don’t ink he wanted to be with me again just yet… but I loved him…. And being his friend w/benefits was better than not being with him at all… so I gave my first blow job to him… and then I had to leave for the summer to go to reno Nevada to see my mom I was going to be gone for like 3 months and I wouldn’t see him which is another reason why we weren’t together because there's no way a relationship could go on that way being separated for 3 months……When I went out there for the summer it was miserable all I could think about was how I loved him and wanted to be with him….and that I hoped he wouldn’t forget me and find someone else…. I wouldn’t go anywhere r. anything all summer all I wanted to do was to talk to him…. And sit around and count the days till I got to go home and perhaps try to be with him again…it was killing me we talked almost every night on the phone the whole 2 and a half months I was there…. If he didn’t call I would get so sad and even cry about it and we weren’t even dating… you see I loved him… we told each other on the phone every night that we loved them….and a couple days before I came back to Arkansas what I had feared all summer became reality he text me that he was dating his ex again… o man I had never felt so much hurt before are cried as many tears before as I did that whole night and the 2 days after that…. I cried... Cried… and cried… then he told me she broke up with him I like o well sry I don’t know what to tell you… then he told me he wanted me back… and I agreed to come see him when I got back to Arkansas… well when I got back we hung out a couple times… it was easy to see we both still liked each other.. then one day we went swimming then iwent over to his house wondering if we were ever going to date again are not… we got close his step dad was at the house so we took his truck in the pasture…. And there we both had sex for the first time… I freaked out all I could think about was well what if you have sex then he don’t ever ask you back out again… r your only a junior in high school what if you get pregnant…. But I didn’t really care I loved him… I I just assumed we would be together for a long time… sooner or later… well later that night he still hadn’t asked me out so I was kind of worried about that so we talked about it and we ended up going out again starting that night… well I went to see him as much as I could… and thought things were going good… we almost had sex 2 other times but I just wanted to see him show me more love in the little things like talking to me and just listening and wanting to talk…. Before I did that again….three week went bye and he had gone to his dads for da weekend and he didn’t call them one night so the next day when he got back home to his moms he called me and was acting weird I was kind of worried but didn’t think much of it the next day he called and broke up with me I cried so much worse than last time… every time we break up it gets harder and harder…. He said he needed some time to think which is what he said the last 2 times he broke up with me…. I had a sick feeling I'm my stomach every since then and I still do because we are still apart…. Like I'm going to pewk…. He tells me we will be together again soon that he just needs to think… I want to give him all the time he needs to think because I really love him.. I do… I love him… but while he’s thinking I'm dying… it hurts either way its going to hurt I love him so much iwanna give him time but then I think it would be better to let it go now because I mean he’s known me 7 months he keeps coming and going in this relationship and every time I see him walk away it hurts 100 times worse then the last time… .so the point is I love him so much the last thing I want to do is to let him go… but what if we get back 2 gether again and he leaves to think again?! My heart can't handle that again… but it can't handle letting him go either especially if there's even a little chance we could be together again… but like I said its been 7 months… if he still needs to think if he loves me are not are wants to be with me then he’s probably never going to know….
Honestly I think he’s to afraid to get to close to me and actually show me how he really feels… what should I do?. I’ve never ever felt this way… in a way a blame myself for all this… what if I wouldn’t had been such a ***** In the beginning? … what if I would have done something diff… but man I can sit here and play the what if game all night and it still won't get him to come back to me… if he chooses to stay gone I hurt… if he comes back and leaves again I hurt…. Seems like every way its going to hurt…. Ppl might say this is a crazy girl obsessed with some dude… your right I am obsessed… obsessed with loveing him… no matter what I do I can't forget about him I don’t want to… I can't not try to make it work I can't not talk to him and I surely can't hate him.. I want him to know I love him for all he is and all he isn’t… so I need edvice should I try to build this relationship up are let it fall? If I try to build it up and I fail I have nothing at all … if I let it fall I have nothing a t all…idk what to do… don’t even know if begging him to come back is what I should do or leave it alone and let him do what he wants to… what should I do?.
Stand tall or let this relationship fall?.

[J_9]

Hun, can you break this down a little so it is easier to read.

However, from what I got, at your age it is probably better to let it fall. Three breakups is a serious red flag.

[talaniman]

Let it fall no matter what you feel. This dude is playing you like a fiddle big time. He has no feelings for you except for SEX. He loves it when you beg. Break his control and move on and I really hope you learned a very big lesson.

[kp2171]

I'm not trying to be mean but there is no way I can read that entire post.

paragraphs are very useful. If you want people here to read your stuff, you really need to condense things down and maybe hit the enter key now and then.

that said, there's too much drama from what little I could sift through.

if you've broken up that many times already, maybe you're just not working out? Anyway, you're 15 and 16... keep things simple. Why make relationships this complex at this young of an age??

if you cannot have fun, be nice, enjoy each other, and not go crazy... well get out!

obsessing over any guy is really not healthy. Doing it at this young of an age is a big warning sign for the future. Obsession = insecurity. I think it would be very good for you to date NOBODY for a while, while you ground yourself and figure out what is really important.

[kymwm]

At your age, dating should be fun, (everything should be fun). If your not having fun, move on. You will have enough drama in your life as it gets more complicated, enjoy yourself. Also, you should NEVER sit around & wait for a guy to call. Go out, have fun. If your home when he calls, great! If not, oh well, he'll call back-if he dosen't, it's his loss!!

[JoeCanada76]

LET IT FALL. I did not read the whole thing it was hard to read. At this age it is way too much. LET IT FALL.

LET IT FALL.

Joe

[Wildcat21]

Yes - PLEASE learn to type and write.

Don't go back to this guy - he is totally imature and playing with your feelings.

Plus - BIG rule in dating - don't date soemone your friend dated. It rarely works out.

Get over him - date, date, date - date others gius -learn from this.

But thias guy is an imature -schmuck.

[Grayfox]

Wow, quite the story... surprisngly typical though, so know that you're not the only one. You have probably realized that you're not going to hear what you want to hear, and this post won't be any different. You don't love him as much as you think you do, if at all. Love and emotional attachments are two very different things. You have obviously given waaaaay too much, in more ways than one. Your heart is way too precious to be throwing around like this. You are young and female, a lot of girls at this age like to over-dramatize a relationship or make it into some kind of episode you'd see on the OC or Dawsons Creek. Im not saying you are, but you need to stop this for your own good, learn from this, he doesn't care about you. In no more than 3 years your mentality will change soooo much its ridiculous, until then, stop dishing your heart out to guys, lay off the sex, its not going to do anything but hurt you. You will know when you've found the person you truly love and you won't have to ask any questions, let alone jump on message boards like these. I feel for you, honestly, I've made some mistakes that I regret, and trust me, if you can minimize them early DO IT. This relationship will be one of them.Take advantage of any early maturity and self-control and listen to consistent advice, even if its not what you want to hear. The people on these boards don't say these things just because your young , most of them understand your situation without fully reading it, and I mean UNDERSTAND. If you really care about you as a person and your future, take the advice, but if your looking for someone to make you feel better about wanting what you want or mistakes you reluctantly take ownership for, you're wasting your time.