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mizz_on_her_own · Feb 23, 2009, 09:20 AM

CSlager

The only problem with that is that I have a scholarship I can get if I continue with rifle team and if I leave it goes down the drain.

Also I don't have anymore family that I can go to. Except Cheri but here is the thing abput that she has a husband who is a sex offender but she already said that she was working on getting me into her custody and how she was going to divorce her husband to do it.

mizz_on_her_own · Feb 23, 2009, 09:32 AM

Flyingeye57

Well I do but I don't care what my mom thinks.
I care because I've wished and prayed for my mom to come around for 11 years and I finally got it and I wanted to prove my dad wrong because he kept saying that she didn't love me.
On the other hand I don't care because I know what I am and I know what I'm not. I know who I am and I know who I'm not. I've been practically raising myself since 7 years old trying my very hardest to avoid my dad.
If anything I'll just move back to AZ. Because that would be the best place to find a house and the best place for me to get a job and enroll myself into school.

estefania · Feb 23, 2009, 09:51 AM

I have a situation kind of like yours but different. Ive been with my parents since I was born and they put me through so much crap. They have yelled at me so much for stupid things that make no sense. I been told to go to hell, that I should never have been born, that my brother is way better than me and I have no friends because no one cares about me. They've said that they are going to kick me out of the house soon and that they should kill me. I been told many times that they are going to kill me and I just can't take it anymore. I've confronted them about it and I just don't care anymore. I never did anything wrong and I'm an honors/ap student who gets good grades. Everyone loves me and I'm liked by many people. Somehow over the years I've managed to deal with it and just not let it bother me. They win if they put you down, and you can't allow that. If your mom doesn't see how great you are than you shouldn't let that get to you. I agree with kgraves1995 that you should go do something fun to forget about it all and cheer yourself up. No matter what, you can't let your mom get you down.

mizz_on_her_own · Feb 23, 2009, 10:04 AM

Yeah the only thing is now I'm grounded for not telling her stuff that is going on in my life.

CSlager · Feb 25, 2009, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by mizz_on_her_own

CSlager

The only problem with that is that I have a scholarship I can get if I continue with rifle team and if I leave it goes down the drain.

Also I don't have anymore family that I can go to. Except Cheri but here is the thing abput that she has a husband who is a sex offender but she already said that she was working on gettin me into her custody and how she was going to divorce her husband to do it.

And?

While a scholarship is important your well being is much more important right, otherwise you would not have made this desperate plea? There are other scholarships, and quite frankly if you are a ward of the state that allows you to be eligible for financing that kids with parents who provide for them are not eligible, namely state and local grants. The rifles scholarship may be terrific, 1000 dollars even but some state and federal grants can pay for as much as all of your student costs to go to a state school.

An example. A Pell Grant to a kid whose parents make 30,000 together=$0. A student who is eligible either has to prove that they do not have providers like wards of the stae or that they are too poor. Perkins loans are available to those same students, and there are at least three or four foster grants and scholarships that I am aware of. This is the one time I feel a young person is worried about the future when instead they should be worrying about the here and now.

estefania · Feb 25, 2009, 02:21 PM

That's dumb for being grounded in my opinion. You still shouldn't let it all get to you. Since your grounded go in your room and just turn music up and chill to that. That's what I do when my parents ground me for stupid crap. Music helps me cope to situations and helps me calm down and it also makes me forget about all the bad things that keep putting me down in life.

Its ironic how my problem is kind of similar to yours. My parents call me names all the time and its stupid cause I do nothing and I'm an honors student who wants to go to college. I don't do bad things, but yet my parents just want to screw with my life. They don't want me going to college so they have screwed up my whole chance to get grant money and scholarships. I can't file for the fafsa at all so I'm screwed. It makes me mad.

The best thing I could recommend for you to do is ignore it all and don't let it get to you if she keeps treating you this way for no reason.

mizz_on_her_own · Mar 3, 2009, 09:45 AM

Yeah well I am still grounded she says that I am grounded till further notice. And I'm not just worried about the scholarship itself and not getting into college it is just that I LOVE rifle team and I do want to go to college. I have just gotten back from the nationals for it and cam VERY close to winning third. I just absolutely love doing it even if I lose I feel like a winner.

When I'm grounded I do just turn my music up and just lay down, dance, read, write, or sleep.

I am slowly but surely learning to cope with all that is going on around me and I have to give all of the thanks to you guys. So thank you very much oin helping me and still being here to help guide me the right way.

estefania · Mar 3, 2009, 10:57 AM

Your welcome and thanks!! : )

MsMewiththat · Mar 3, 2009, 11:22 AM

Good Luck to you sweetie... stay strong and believe in yourself.

MsMewiththat · Mar 3, 2009, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by mizz_on_her_own

Yeah well I am still grounded she says that I am grounded till further notice. And I'm not just worried about the scholarship itself and not getting into college it is just that I LOVE rifle team and I do want to go to college. I have just gotten back from the nationals for it and cam VERY close to winning third. I just absolutely love doing it even if I lose I feel like a winner.

When I'm grounded I do just turn my music up and just lay down, dance, read, write, or sleep.

I am slowly but surely learning to cope with all that is going on around me and I have to give all of the thanks to you guys. So thank you very much oin helping me and still being here to help guide me the right way.

I had an idea a minute ago... how about when your grounded if you could do something different. Do this... Spend time with your Mom. See if there is anything that you can do for her or help her with since your stuck in the house. Once she spends more time with you and sees that you are a responsible girl that is not as selfish as she thinks she may open up and trust you more or communicate more. That could solve part of the problem or if nothing else it will make her think twice about grounding you again in the future. It could open up the lines of communication to the point where she feels that she understands you better? Just a thought

mizz_on_her_own · Mar 5, 2009, 09:41 AM

Yeah well I tried that and she says that she is going to give me a drug test now. So I told her that she could and I'd pass clean. I've tried to help around the house but they won't let me do anything then they turn around and say that I need to do more.

shazamataz · Mar 5, 2009, 10:21 AM

Sounds like your mum needs some serious dr. phil time.
Stay strong, they are only words, you know you are not this person that she makes out you to be and you need to hold onto that. She hasn't known you for long and hopefully in time she will realize that you are a good person.

estefania · Mar 5, 2009, 03:58 PM

Shazmataz is absolutely correct

mizz_on_her_own · Mar 9, 2009, 08:26 AM

Well, I am trying but it's not working too well.
I just find it easier and easier to just stay away from it all heck my boyfriend risked getting yelled at and tried to call me to ease my pain because he knows what is going on.

XOXOlove · Mar 9, 2009, 10:55 AM

I was just wondering if you have told your mother about what your father had done to you and how it made you feel. If you haven't, tell her. She must be completely crazy if she doesn't understand.

mizz_on_her_own · Mar 11, 2009, 08:13 AM

Yeah I have told her. Heck she knew that he was doing that stuff to me. She is the one whoforced me to tell. I tis just complicated.

XOXOlove · Mar 12, 2009, 07:26 PM

What happened to the lady that you said was like a mother to you? Have you spoken to her or contacted an agency that can help you? You have to act on it. Nothing it going o happen if you don't do anything. I hope you find a way out. You will but if you don't do anything you're goung to have to wait until you are 18 to get out of this mess.

mizz_on_her_own · Mar 13, 2009, 08:51 AM

Well I haven't talked to her, in god knows how long, because of jennifer (my biological mother) and now I have no way to contact anyone because SHE WENT THROUGH MY ROOM AND READ MY JOURNALS AND MY EMAILS!! SHE WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING@!! I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER!! I wouldn't be surprised if she strip searched me!

She told me that:
"Nothing is private and nothing is yours when no one trusts you."

That isn't right those things are my thoughts, my heart, so I felt like I had to shred them. So, I shredded all my journals, my poems, everything because it is my business my life and my thoughts and I don't want her knowing them because she always uses them against me, when I did talk to her about the way I was feeling, like blackmailing.

Now she found a stupid note in my room about how my boyfriend told me he loved me and that he didn't want me to be mad at him and Aaron, for Aaron's little brother getting on a writing an inappropriate message, and that he would talk to my mom about the situation and I told him to save his breath because my mom won't listen and he tod me tp f*** my mom because he has seen the way she treats me and he doesn't like it one little bit. But, anyway she found the note called his mom and I think my mom might make me break up with him and then I'd be so furious at her I wouldn't be able to even talk to her no matter what the punishment.

WHAT DO I DO??

estefania · Mar 16, 2009, 08:41 AM

Don't let her ruin your life. That's all that I can tell you. It sucks how people have to put up with crap like this. It's not right.