[fossetdr]

My husband (Anthony) and I live in Colorado. He fathered a child out of a one night stand in 2005 out of which his son was born December 2005. He is now eight months old. The mother also lived in this same area. From the very beginning Anthony told her that the two of them would not be together but he would respect her decision to keep the baby and he would be a very involved father. Anthony always maintained he wanted 50/50 visitation with his son. She consistently wanted a romantic relationship with him and when he maintained his position that he did not want that, she became very vindictive and spiteful throughout the entire pregnancy. Once the baby was born, Anthony actively participated in visitation. He saw the child ~4 times a week. The mother continued to be spiteful toward Anthony and has done whatever she could to interfere with his relationship with his son limiting visitation, etc. Each side has had an attorney since before the birth and both sides have been building their case for an upcoming custody hearing. Due to the mother restricting visitation Anthony’s attorney drafted a letter to the mother (and her counsel) requesting increased parenting time. The letter stated that failure to agree would result in a motion for a temporary custody hearing. After receiving the letter, the mother moved the baby and her other two children (within Colorado) 5-1/2 driving hours away, within 48 hours of receiving the letter, in effort to keep Anthony from seeing his son. This move has caused a great visitation hardship due to the distance.

My question:
Since there was no custody hearing prior to the mother’s move outlining the issue of relocation what, if any, recourse do we have to get her to move back or to get the court to grant Anthony with primary custody? We have plenty of documentation (both written and audio) showing that her motives for moving were out of spite and for the purpose of keeping the baby from Anthony. In addition, we can prove that moving did not present her with ANY financial benefit that she could not have received here.

[educatedhorse_2005]

For anthony to get primary custody will have to prove she is an unfit parent which could be hard to do.

As far as I now as long as she stays in the same stte as the father is she can move whe she wants.
If she moved out of state she should have to get anthony permission to do this.

As far a visitation is concerned the court can order her to meet anthony half way. Or even further. Just depends on the judge.
Are you willing to take care of the baby if anthony gets primary custody. They will also look at your financial situation to make sure you can do it.

Good luck

[s_cianci]

Unfortunately she managed to move before the judge had an opportunity to issue a custody/visitation order. Probably the best you can now do is to ask the judge to grant joint custody and require the mother to be responsible for the resulting travel costs since she was the one who moved out of the area without any compelling reason to do so. Get your attorney working on this right away.

[fossetdr]

We've been documenting everything since day one. We hired a CFI to evaluate both sides. I can't even begin to tell all of you how many hours I've spent researching situations like ours in hopes of finding some angle. Many hours... Sadly I've found that we live in a country that believes that if you are not the milk producing parent (dad) then you have fewer rights and you are viewed to be less important as the other parent (mom), no matter how screwed up the custodial parents motives and actions are. My husband has done nothing wrong but yet he has to prove himself in every way.
They met on an online dating service and slept together one time. A few days later Anthony emailed her that he didn't want to see her anymore. Later that same day she showed him her positive pregnancy test... She was out looking for a daddy for her other kids. He told her he wanted her to abort the baby because of the circumstances. She refused. Once that was decided, Anthony told her they would not be together but he would support her decision to have the baby and would be an active father, which he has. He's been providing her with $ since before the baby was born, he was there for the birth, and he visited ~4 times a week there after.
Now, he has to pay her ~$800 a month and is limited to seeing the baby two times a month (result of temp hearing). He is devastated because he never wanted children in this horribly unnatural way. He's currently meets the mother in a park where he is to have his visitation. It's definitely not parenting.
I believe our only option is to present the court with all of our documentation showing that Amber has acted out of spite and not in the best interest of CJ or her other children. We will have to hope that somehow the courts will see the travesty and rule for some sort of fair arrangement. Unfortunately, I've have not read about many happy endings for fathers in this type of situation.
>>> Simply put, the only choice a man can make is to wear a condom. Once a child is conceived the father has no choice or rights in anything and can look forward to a life sentence of Hell if that is what the woman wants to have happen. Our courts will support her.