[adele18]

Hey everyone

OK well I'm 19 and my partner is 31 I have been trying to fall pregnant for 6 months and I have had 2 miscarries I am waiting to see if my periods come now they are due in 8 days but I already feel different like tired feeling sick and bloated.
Just wondering if people have any tips on concieving?

[s_cianci]

The best thing to do, short of contacting a fertility specialist, is to keep track of your cycle and plan accordingly. Have you spoken to your doctor about the 2 miscarriages? There could be an underlying problem that (s)he could help you with.

[J_9]

I agree with the answer above. Also, how long ago were the miscarrrages?

[JuLee]

Hmmm... I've been with my boyfriend, now husband, for 8 years. I thought I couldn't get pregnant for the longest time. When we finally tried, it worked right away. Im sure you've read lots of stuff on techniques but the one we used was where I laid on my back with my knees up for about 5 minutes. Make sure you don't do anything harmful to your body and if you do become pregnant, don't reach high or carry anything heavy! Good Luck!

[adele18]

Hey

My last miscarrige wa s 2 mons ago I have been to the docters and they said I will be fine to try and conceive again after another menstual period so I tried again

I did go to the docters but they were not very helpful

:D

[J_9]

Adele,

What is the rush to become pregnant, you are only 19? I assume you are not married because you refer to him as your "partner." Well, lets look at it this way.

You are 19 he is 31. You are not married, do you have a ring and a date? If this is something he wants he would marry you first. It is so easy for a man to just walk away after a baby is born. Then you would be stuck for the rest of your life, remember how young you are. I don't know where you are, but if you are in the states you have not even reached the legal age of majority, 21. Aren't you going to want to spend your 21st birthday out at the clubs with friends. With a baby how can you afford that?

Also, remember that many relationships with large gaps in age, such as yours, rarely work out. Don't get me wrong, some last, but not many.

With all that being said. You need to wait a while before trying again. It will be possible, but chances are you still have pregnancy hormones running through your system. I would suggest waiting about 6 months so that your body gets back to normal before trying.

When you do, keep these facts in mind. You ovulate approximately 14 days after your last monthly period (if you have a 28 day cycle). Once the egg is released from the ovary it only is viable for 24 hours. Sperm can last a couple of days once inside a woman.

It would benefit you to begin taking an over-the-counter prenatal vitamin now so that you get optimum levels of vitamins such as folic acid prior to conceiving.

I will close by saying that you really need to think this through. This is not a mistake you can erase or walk away from. You have at least 15 more good years in your life to have a child. I had my first at 22 and look back now, after the divorce, and realize I was way too young. I had my 4th at age 38 and understand that is when I was actually mentally, psychologically, and emotionally ready to have a family.

[adele18]

OK well I thought your answer was pretty rude we are engaged have been for months and are getting married next month so there is no problem with commitment

You may have regret having your child at your age but for what I have been through I know I am ready I am a lot older because of the experiences I have had in life.

I live in australia and I am of legal age and to also add relationships with age gaps do last and mine has so your wrong in thinking that

I know when I ovalate and I know all about the system of falling pregnant

I have thought it through
And I know that 100% I am ready to have a baby

Thanks

[J_9]

Well, good for you. You would be surprised how many people we get here who are not ready, but just think they are.

I am sorry you thought my answer was rude, but look at all the other threads about 17 and 19 year olds who want to get pregnant and don't know what they are in for. You are lucky you got my answer, many others will tear into you worse than I did.

We are concerned that girls know ALL the ramifications of pregnancy, especially young ones. Some only want to get pregnant so that they can have someone who will love them unconditionally. Some want to get pregnant just to keep their boyfriends. We just like to make sure you have thought this through.

On the flip side, if I was being rude, I need to ask if you know all about the system of falling pregnant why are you asking about tips for conceiving?

Make sure he wears boxers not briefs, no hot tubs.. etc. High temps will lower sperm count. When you ovulate do not have sex daily, every other day is better.

You should still wait a few more months after the miscarriage so that your body does not contain ANY pregnancy hormones. Also, it could be the stress of the impending marriage causing the miscarriages.


Lastly, I never said that I regretted having any of my children, I just said I looked back and realized that I was not mature enough for one. I do not regret one minute of my children's lives, I just did not know what I was in for. I think that your statement was pretty rude in and of itself.

[adele18]

I know all of what you have told me about tips of concieving I simply came on here to see if any others new of ways that they had conceived or tips that I have not heard about .

Something you need to take into considerarion is everyone is different everyone is ready for things that different times in there life and everyone deserves the right to choose there own path in life without being judged

So maybe you should think about that when answering questions in the future.

And what I said was not rude it was simply the truth
A child is a blessing no matter how old you are or if you are ready to have a child.

[J_9]

Well, I am not going to get in a picking petty little argument with you other than the fact that I do not regret any of my children.

And yes, we ALL have to take differences into account. But remember we are not face-to-face and we cannot hear each others voices, so we can only take into account what is written. No body language to distinguish how mature one actually is.

I was giving a head's up just in case you were one of those girls. I never said you were.

I do have a question though.

Is a child a blessing if the mother is 12? Online many children represent themselves to be adults, we have to take that into account when answering. We can never assume that everyone is truthful.

[Myth]

Not necessarily, So your saying that if my niece at the age of 15 were raped and got pregnant that that child would be a blessing? I have to disagree with you there. Not everyone is capable of being a mother and I would seriously reevaluate your decision to have a child if you cannot understand that criticism comes in all forms. You have shown to me that you cannot understand or comprehend a constructive critique when it's given to you. Even I, being almost nine months pregnant with twins, can understand that this was not an attack on your person nor your decision but a way to have you self evaluate without trying to be condescending. You obviously didn't read any of the other trying to conceive posts on this board or you would have been better prepared for the answers you got. It isn't everyday that a 19yr old much less a 25yr old is mentally ready to have a child. Physical readiness happens weather we like it or not. In my opinion you have a lot of growing up and maturing before you should even consider having a child. Stop acting like one yourself before you yourself become a mother... So when your 12yr old gets pregnant by a 24yr old is that a blessing or is it lack of parenting skills? When that 24yr old leaves because the law is after him is that 12yr old capable of raising that child on her own? You might want to rethink your opinion in this area as you are looking at only one fraction of a whole. J_9's posts aren't even close to what your feedback could have been. Before you go looking for trouble you might want to put yourself in the other persons shoes and think about what they are saying before you go jumping to conclusions. In my opinion you need to grow up, stop assuming and get a thicker skin. You do know what assuming does right??

[momincali]

Adele,

I'm sure that the last thing you "want" to hear is one more person questioning your decisions and your motives but that is the reason we are here, not just for the questions posed. If we pretended that the fact that you were only 19 and your fiancé were 31 was great and a perfect match, than we would be lying and I believe it would be a diservice to you.

Can you honestly tell me that when your fiancé was 19, he was mentally and emotionally in the same place as he is right now? Hardly. As mature as you are, you will be an entirely different being when you are 31. My point is this. I think it is impossible that you guys could make a successful emotional match right now, that is, unless he is 19-21 emotionally also, which is not a good thing either. Be that as it may, you are entitled to marry anyone you choose, however I think this is a valid point that deserves some pondering since you are so anxious to bring a child into this relationship so quickly.

It's wonderful that you want to have a baby. And, I agree with you that babies are a blessing from above. That doesn't mean that I agree that regardless of a girl's age it would necessarily be a blessing to her. Now, many people may disagree with me, but, I wouldn't tell the girl to go get an abortion because she got raped, I would suggest that she put the baby up for adoption and turn a horrible experience into a blessing for a couple who desperately would like a child but cannot conceive.

After reading J-9's posts, I would have said the same thing, only I have a tendency to be a little more direct and not mince my words so much. Everyone does deserve the chance to choose their own path in life. However, the judgment here comes because you are attempting to bring an innocent life into it. At 19, if someone were to have given me the responses that J-9 and Myth gave you, I may have responded in the same way as you did because at 19, I was a bit more of an immature twit. Today, thankfully, I have matured substantially and given that advice would have taken it into consideration and truly questioned my motives. Why? Simply because it involved the life of my future baby, and I would feel so protective of this child, I would want to give him or her the best possible life, including a stable two-parents-under-the-same-roof home. It is unnerving to think that you are "committed" to this man when you would not even refer to him as your fiancé.

Becoming a mother involves so much love and commitment, beyond our own needs and wants. It involves the sacrifice of giving in to our whims. I know you have probably given this much thought, I'm not saying you haven't. What I am saying is that your beautiful baby will give you more than you ever dreamed of, so, shouldn't you at least give her the best shot at a happy home. By that, I mean, why not wait? Marry this man if you know that he is the one you and you are the one for him, have a great honeymoon, a 12 month honeymoon where you can just focus on each other and getting the whole married life in groove. Plan to get pregnant on your one year anniversary! That will give you two the time you need to dedicate to each other and the peace of mind that you know you made the right choice in marrying him. Then you can send the 3 of us a nice long I told you so email a year from now when that little stick turns blue.

Even if in Australia you are legally an adult at 19, worldwide, your body is still a teenager, what's the hurry? Give your mind and body what it needs, more time.

This may be hard to read, but a mature woman will read it and take it for what it is, sound advice from voices of experience, not condemnation.

[adele18]

Well I do agree with the last post

But I know I am ready thanks for the advice it has been taking into consideration

As myth also needs to understand there is a way to say things

But thank you for the advice and I wish you both well

[valinors_sorrow]

After reading through this thread, I am wondering why the "doctors weren't helpful" and really really hoping a pregnancy isn't someone's idea on how to solidify a relationship... just my initial impression.