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Junior Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 11:13 AM
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I Cry
Is it normal to cry after having a orgasm? It doesn't happen all of the time but happens. I was abused when I was little. I am not thinking anything but how good things feel. My husband will stop and am not sure if that is the best thing. Sometimes he holds me and others he just get up and walks away. Again my mind in clear of everything. I enjoy sex a lot, and when I cry my husband will act a little funny around me. Like he doesn't want to have sex. I just don't know. What do you think?
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Expert
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Feb 13, 2009, 11:21 AM
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What is "normal" heck most likely more than 1/3 of the women out there don't even have a orgasm and don't know what they are missing.
And yes, he things having sex is upsetting you and crying is not the response he wants or is trained by society to expect.
If this is a cry of depression because of past abuse, please get counseling and see if hubby can go along.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 11:23 AM
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I have never been abused, but had this happen when I was in my 20s.
Talk to you GYN. You may have a hormone imbalance. If that isn't it, perhaps you should talk to a therapist.
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Full Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 11:39 AM
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Could it be you are crying because you are happy?
I know my wife sometimes has tears of joy; it just comes over her, sometimes in vulnerable moments.
Just a suggestion, and the advice to see your GYN is a sound one which I wouldn't discount.
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Senior Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 01:46 PM
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It's normal- it's an emotional experience too! Make sure you let your hubs know that it's because you feel good, not because you're traumatized or unhappy. :)
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Ultra Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 01:48 PM
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I know the first time my wife and I had sex when we first started dating she cried to. She said she never felt a connection like that before and she couldn't help but cry.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 02:11 PM
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I have cried before and so has my BF ,just from being emotionally overwhelmed.
Many times when we reach down deep within ourselves,or someone else affects us on that level, we become vulnerable and tears are an expression of that.
Understand where the emotion is coming from and assure your hubby it's a positive thing.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 13, 2009, 06:46 PM
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Yes, some females cry and some just don't cry they let go flood gates.
Sometimes an orgasm releases a rush of horomones that can have powerful impacts on the emotional state of mind, sometimes leading to crying for no reason. So you could be crying from experiencing a rush of horomones.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 14, 2009, 03:20 PM
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A woman can cry for many reasons during sex... I recommend therapy fast so you can get to the bottom of this since you were abused.
Best wishes to you, :)
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Ultra Member
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Feb 15, 2009, 02:58 PM
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I believe that this is actually a result of your abuse, sub-conciously you are ashamed of the enjoyment/pleasure you are feeling. Your husband's response is not good 9walking away etc.) you both need counselling on how to deal with this aspect of your lives.
Best wishes
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Ultra Member
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Feb 15, 2009, 03:53 PM
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I'll figure you have explained the situation in full to him. If so, he needs to stop this walking away lark. It's perfectly normal to get overwhelmed in my opinion.
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Junior Member
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Feb 18, 2009, 05:58 AM
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I have had this too, and my husband just hugged me and thanked me for loving him so much (which I really really do) and kissed all of my tears.
The tears (provided they aren't tears of trauma) are good, and when sex is good, emotionally, this is normal.
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Junior Member
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Feb 18, 2009, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Kadehadaire
I have had this too, and my husband just hugged me and thanked me for loving him so much (which I really really do) and kissed all of my tears.
The tears (provided they aren't tears of trauma) are good, and when sex is good, emotionally, this is normal.
Thank you, my tears are not from trauma. I think that he just is not sure what to do. I tell him that I am fine and to keep going, but I think that he gets scared. I have had thoughts of my abuse at times, but that was a long time ago. I don't have that any more:) Could that be way he stops? Because he thinks am thinking of being abused.
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Full Member
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Feb 18, 2009, 11:12 AM
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We having been on the side of my wife crying at a similar time, it's quite scary because as a guy I don't quite get 'crying'. The first thing I think is I've done something to hurt her emotionally and it kind of changes the moment from love, lust and intimacy to fear, concern and intimacy and the sudden switch in emotions; especially ones I'm not particularly comfortable with can make me scared. Furthermore, when my wife cries I want to fix it (which I know isn't the right response), but just the same; I feel powerless (again not a comfortable feeling for me).
Also, if it's not about me; then I wonder what is it about and how I can help and that worry stays with me.
Your husband sounds like a good and caring man; perhaps just tell him you don't know why it's happening, there is no thoughts attached that you know of and just to hold you when it's going on and know it will pass.
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Junior Member
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Feb 18, 2009, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by TexasParent
We having been on the side of my wife crying at a similar time, it's quite scary because as a guy I don't quite get 'crying'. The first thing I think is I've done something to hurt her emotionally and it kinda changes the moment from love, lust and intimacy to fear, concern and intimacy and the sudden switch in emotions; especially ones I'm not particularly comfortable with can make me scared. Furthermore, when my wife cries I want to fix it (which I know isn't the right response), but just the same; I feel powerless (again not a comfortable feeling for me).
Also, if it's not about me; then I wonder what is it about and how I can help and that worry stays with me.
Your husband sounds like a good and caring man; perhaps just tell him you don't know why it's happening, there is no thoughts attached that you know of and just to hold you when it's going on and know it will pass.
Thank-you!
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Senior Member
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Feb 18, 2009, 12:21 PM
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I definitely think it has something to do with being abused. I don't think the crying is normal. People usually cry when they are hurt, sad, upset, or scared. None of things are occurring during sex right? If so then something is definitely wrong. Do you know why you cry? Does it hurt are you sad after?
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Junior Member
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Feb 19, 2009, 11:20 AM
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The crying does happen durning sex. My mind is blank there is nothing that I'm thinking about other then how good things feel.
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Full Member
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Feb 19, 2009, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Mymama
The crying does happen durning sex. My mind is blank there is nothing that I'm thinking about other then how good things feel.
It's OK, Chrissymarie regularly comes into a topic without reading anyone else's posts including the original posters and how you've explained all that already.
She's been warned numerous times, moderators have deleted her posts; but she still hasn't got the message. Hence, me spelling it out clearly here.
To discourage her, I would give her a 'disagree' on rate that answer and remind her if she read your posts she would realize that her post wasn't relevant anymore. (I would personally but it won't let me because I can't comment again on her not reading topics for a bit :D)
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Ultra Member
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Feb 19, 2009, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by TexasParent
We having been on the side of my wife crying at a similar time, it's quite scary because as a guy I don't quite get 'crying'.
Texas, normally I wouldn't comment on your posts, but this time I feel compelled to do so-Your response seems a little stereotypical, Are you saying that you don't cry or, you don't understand why people cry, or, are you saying that crying is some kind of "ploy" that people use to get sympathy-and you fail to understand that aspect?
Because as a guy myself, I certainly "get it" as well as do it myself. Just because you are a man does not preclude you from crying or showing or feeling emotion-sometimes. :confused:
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Senior Member
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Feb 19, 2009, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Mymama
Is it normal to cry after having a orgasm? It doesn't happen all of the time but happens. I was abused when I was little. I am not thinking anything but how good things feel. My husband will stop and am not sure if that is the best thing. Sometimes he holds me and others he just get up and walks away. Again my mind in clear of everything. I enjoy sex alot, and when i cry my husband will act a little funny around me. Like he doesn't want to have sex. I just don't know. What do you think?
Synnen: I still don't see my questions answered in the OP... I guess it's between the lines or something. Or maybe there's a post somewhere I didn't see but OK. I let it go this time.
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