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albear · Feb 17, 2009, 06:01 AM

Awwwww, you scared her lol, look at the 'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING :eek:' look on her face :)

Alty · Feb 17, 2009, 08:42 AM

She's adorable. Bear's right, she looks like she can't believe you actually took her picture.

Ana52408 · Feb 17, 2009, 02:40 PM

Lol! I know she was sleeping on my boyfriend and I took the picture and she was just like :O haha but I love her and I think she's the most spoiled dog on this earth lol

I guess the flash didn't satisfy her little eyes that much heehee :)

Just Dahlia · Feb 17, 2009, 06:30 PM

BINGO, it's a great name and if you play and never win... you will still be always calling it.

sajjw · Feb 18, 2009, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by Ana52408

Ok why is everyone so negative. For the record, I have FOUR DOGS! I've been growing up with animals my whole life! i do community hours at pets smart. My boyfriend has had 1 dog and she recently died of cancer. He's been wanting a dog its not like im just gunna so that if he doesnt even want one. He's mom knows and she said yes. He lives in a house and if we brake up im taking the dog back no matter what. 2nd, like i said, i have FOUR dogs i wont let a dog have a bad home.

i have two going to 3 family members that are vets, Im actually going to be either a vet or a lawyer in my future because i love animals, Me and my family rescued 4 dogs during hurrucan Katrina and Wilma and we found them ALL nice homes, and actually they are living the life now. Im not that much of an idiot to buy someone a dog out of random. I only asked for names not for opinions. He wants one, his familly wants one, and since im so attached to animals i have hooks ups of people that can give me one. Danny also have a cousin that is a vet. The dog will be fine because if i rescued 4 stray dogs that i didnt know where they've been and i didnt know anything about them and i didnt let them have a bad home, then why would i give this dog a bad home? My family NEVER EVER feeds the dogs human food, they eat their normal cracker dog food and they have NEVER EVER been sick that we've need to take them to the vet. They have all their daily check ups allllll the time etc. obviously you guys need to ask questions first. there something called ASSUMING which you guys are all doing. There is something called questions. ask before answering something you dont know.

and thank you Charl. Im telling you, people now a days dont know how to ASK.

I totally agree with your last comments, Ana, people should stop jumping to conclusions. I was criticised by 'Tickle' for mentioning breeding although this person knows nothing about me! The facts are, that last year I bred a beautiful litter of Irish Setters in the south of England where there is a shortage of this lovely breed. If it wasn't for people like me this beautiful breed would die out. No puppies could have asked for a better rearing, they were extremely well cared for, socialised, wormed and loved with knowledge and they were given everything they needed. I kept one little girl and (having refused several unsuitable prospective owners) am in contact with every one of the carefully vetted owners by phone and e mail. Im just about to send off their birthday presents today actually! All the people who had one of my puppies know that if they couldn't keep him/her for any reason I would have him/her back without question. I have four dogs who live in my home and are my life. They are extremely healthy and well cared for and I spend a lot of time on agility and training. And I was warned that I would be considered a so called 'backyard breeder' whatever that is! I didn't bother to waste my time explaining but it did annoy me like you said about people making assumptions and not asking questions before jumping in. Your words inspired me to stand up for myself also so thank you.

rex123 · Feb 18, 2009, 06:04 AM

The reason why some people on this site''jump to conclusions'' is due to the lack of information given by the asker. Also because they want what is best for the dogs. Assumptions are made because it is not our place to ask questions it is our place to answer your questions and we will do so depending on what info you put in your question , for you the asker should give as much info as possible. You say the answerer should ask questions but that would be like if you wrote a question stating my dog sick, and then epected us to ask how he is sick and what symptoms does he have?? That is not how it goes you have to put the info that we need in order to give you the best answer, that is best for you and your dog. We don't know your life story and therefore you need to explain.

starbuck8 · Feb 18, 2009, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by sajjw

I totally agree with your last comments, Ana, people should stop jumping to conclusions. I was criticised by 'Tickle' for mentioning breeding although this person knows nothing about me!! The facts are, that last year I bred a beautiful litter of Irish Setters in the south of England where there is a shortage of this lovely breed. If it wasn't for people like me this beautiful breed would die out. No puppies could have asked for a better rearing, they were extremely well cared for, socialised, wormed and loved with knowledge and they were given everything they needed. I kept one little girl and (having refused several unsuitable prospective owners) am in contact with every one of the carefully vetted owners by phone and e mail. Im just about to send off their birthday presents today actually! All the people who had one of my puppies know that if they couldn't keep him/her for any reason I would have him/her back without question. I have four dogs who live in my home and are my life. They are extremely healthy and well cared for and I spend a lot of time on agility and training. And I was warned that I would be considered a so called 'backyard breeder' whatever that is! I didn't bother to waste my time explaining but it did annoy me like you said about people making assumptions and not asking questions before jumping in. Your words inspired me to stand up for myself also so thank you.

For your information, Tickle is one of our very valued members here, and has been for quite some time! We give of our "free" time to answer "your" questions, and we go on the information provided by "you!"

These are two entirely different situations had you taken the time to read, and noticed the difference! Although the area in which you live there may have not been many Irish Setter puppies available, I can assure you, they are NOT a dying breed! In fact there are an abundance!

Although I'm very happy that you seem to be a reputable breeder, who does research and has conditions when selling your puppies, this is NOT what we were talking about here! You said yourself that you don't even know what a backyard breeder is! If you don't know, then I suggest you do some research to find out! Have you any idea how many puppies of all kinds, purebred and mixed breeds, that came from backyard breeders or puppymills were euthanized in the U.S. alone, in the time it took for me to reply? I'm talking just puppies, and not including older dogs that are perfectly healthy! Well the answer to that is 40-60 puppies, and that is being conservative! Now, how many puppies do you think that would be if you added up the "world" figures!

The U.S. is cracking down on backyard breeders, and have made a very small dent, but many many countries practice backyard breeding every single day of the year. It's a disgusting and horrific practise! Millions upon millions of dogs are euthanized every single year, because some people have the mind set that you have, and think they are helping by keeping a breed alive. Although as I said, you sound like you are reputable in the way your breed and find homes, there are hundreds of other people that don't take this care with their litters.

linnealand · Feb 18, 2009, 04:24 PM

*edit: I wrote a long post here and took it down after a few minutes to edit it. If you're wondering where it is, I have just submitted it as a new post on the next page.

(by the way, thanks starby! ) :) (*starby's comment applied to the original version, of which I have kept a copy. If the first one was better, you can tell me, lol.)

starbuck8 · Feb 18, 2009, 05:03 PM

I was going under the assumption that sjjaw would certainly ensure these puppies are spayed and neutered, and I can only pray that I'm right in that assumption. Sadly, this just doesn't seem to be the case, since he/she doesn't even know what backyard breeders are, and thinks he/she is preserving a dying breed. Clearly this is not the case, as those of us that have actually done our research are aware and informed.

I don't think ignorance is an excuse when it comes to breeding. A reputable breeder should be licensed, and required to have their dogs genetically tested, along with many other requirements. They should be subject to inspection and have strict guidelines that are followed to the letter, or their license would be revolked.

I would only hope, although I know it's sadly a very slim possibility, that all dog owners would be required to have a license to breed under these terms, or be subject to punishment under the law. This cruel and reckless breeding of millions of dogs needs to be governed and there needs to be a stop put to this abominable and inhumane breeding of dogs for sport, hobby, and/or money making industry.

If you love your pets, have them spayed or neutered.

starbuck8 · Feb 18, 2009, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by linnealand

Ana, i think that Bela is a great name for her. she's a very cute little puppy, and she looks as sweet as candy. i'm really glad you've been enjoying her so much. i hope i didn't offend you earlier in the post. i wish the best to both of you. ;)

*edit: i put something up for a few minutes, but i'm editing it. i have a copy of the original, but i thought it was a little harsh. if you read it and are wondering where it is, i'll be returning with it. (by the way, thanks starby.) :)

Thank you Linney! I thought I was losing my mind! I was horribly confused why my greenie showed up on another post you made. I didn't think you were harsh whatsoever! I thought you only said what needed to be said.

linnealand · Feb 18, 2009, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by sajjw

I totally agree with your last comments, Ana, people should stop jumping to conclusions. I was criticised by 'Tickle' for mentioning breeding although this person knows nothing about me!! The facts are, that last year I bred a beautiful litter of Irish Setters in the south of England where there is a shortage of this lovely breed. If it wasn't for people like me this beautiful breed would die out. No puppies could have asked for a better rearing, they were extremely well cared for, socialised, wormed and loved with knowledge and they were given everything they needed. I kept one little girl and (having refused several unsuitable prospective owners) am in contact with every one of the carefully vetted owners by phone and e mail. Im just about to send off their birthday presents today actually! All the people who had one of my puppies know that if they couldn't keep him/her for any reason I would have him/her back without question. I have four dogs who live in my home and are my life. They are extremely healthy and well cared for and I spend a lot of time on agility and training. And I was warned that I would be considered a so called 'backyard breeder' whatever that is! I didn't bother to waste my time explaining but it did annoy me like you said about people making assumptions and not asking questions before jumping in. Your words inspired me to stand up for myself also so thank you.

I would just like to add some things to the responses you received on your last post.

We don’t have enough information to know if you’re a backyard breeder or not. Here are some questions that all responsible breeders would be able to answer. How did you choose who should be the mother and the father of your pups? What genetic comparisons did you do before deciding whether it was a good idea to breed from these two particular dogs? What genetic testing did you have done to make sure that you weren't carrying on any preventable medical issues through their heritage (preventable meaning that if they are carriers of certain genetic defects that they wouldn't have been bred from)? Do the mother and the sire have papers? Were the puppies granted papers? What breed club has you listed as a reputable breeder?

I sincerely applaud each of the things you've done right. We can only dream that everyone would rear their dogs by taking the each of the proper steps along the way. The importance of a very loving home, the right training, the screening of all potential puppy owners, and taking back any puppies or dogs if, for whatever reason, they are no longer wanted are unquestionably priceless. That's called taking responsibility, and it's what every dog owner should be doing. Unfortunately, as you know, not everybody cares for their pets so well. The truth is that a whole lot of dog owners just don't know enough about fully caring for their dogs, and improper breeding is one of the worst issues plaguing the dog world today.

Backyard breeding is a term that references the breeding of dogs by people (usually from their homes, and oftentimes as families) who haven't done all of their homework. Essentially, they aren't professional, reputable breeders; they don't know enough (if anything) about genetics and breeding, they lack expertise in proper dog training, they might not know about how to properly handle the different stages of development puppies enter as they grow, they might not have enough knowledge to give the mother and the puppies the proper nutrition or emergency care they need, or might need, along the way, they don't have breeding experience (which one could otherwise gain by learning from a professional, reputable breeder), they might not put so much thought into where the puppies go, and on and on.

This is why people who know better, including people who come here to help others with dog issues, take potential cases of backyard breeding very seriously. This isn't a matter of poking at people for the fun of it. It's about getting the right information out there to add to the prevention of the problem. We can't assume that everyone is doing all the right things when breeding because oftentimes these same people have come to ask such basic questions that any knowledgeable breeder would know. I wish we could assume that everyone is does all of the right things all of the time. I really do believe that as you continue to participate and post here, you will find that this is, in fact, a caring and supportive community of people.

With all of that said, I’m a little stuck on what you wrote about the underpopulation problem of Irish Setters in your area. It reminded me of a claim someone on this site once made about there being no chihuahuas in Alaska, which made her want to breed hers. By the way, there are enough chihuahuas in Alaska. I’m just wondering where your information came from and who might have suggested that you to solve this problem through your dog. At the bottom of this post you’ll find a number of links for people you can contact for top notch information on everything about Irish Setters in the UK.

I know I said that we don’t know what kind of breeder you are, but from your post it sounds like you just bred your dog for the first time. From your thread in which tickle responded, it sounds like you have another dog that you’d like to breed from as well. I’m assuming that part of why you’re doing this is to continue to solve the underpopulation problem of the breed in your area? Just out of curiosity, did you also encourage the new owners of the puppies to breed from them, too? If not, why? If you did, I have good news for you. We can do a little hypothetical math to show just how productive that continued breeding could really be.

I'll go conservative with these numbers. I don't know how many puppies were born in your first litter, so for the purposes of this experiment we can suppose an average number; let's say each litter is made up of 5 puppies. We'll be responsible here, so let’s say the dogs don't breed before the age of 2. here we go. Those 5 dogs each give birth to 5 puppies; now we have 25 more puppies. Let's wait 2 years again. Now we'll let the new 25 Irish Setters each have one litter. We now have 125 new puppies. Let's wait 2 years again. The new 125 dogs get 5 puppies each. The underpopulation problem is disappearing quickly. Breed those once and you get 600 new puppies. That's good, right? Let's wait another 2 years. The 600 puppies get 5 puppies each. Finally, 3,000 Irish Setter puppies. In just 8 years, you've helped to make a miracle happen. Should we stop? Just once more. 15,000 new puppies. This is all just in 10 years from the day you started. Breed them all one more time and you get 125,000 new Irish Setter puppies. Once again and you get 625,000 brand new puppies. In 16 years, you’ve made 3,125,000 new ones, and on and on and on.

Of course, all of this is assuming that the dogs only give birth to one litter in their lifetime. Otherwise we could have each female give birth to 4 or 5 litters each. The males could, of course, be making many more than the females. Really, the sky's the limit. Is there something wrong with doing this? Why would that be? Why should all of the new owners be deprived of the right to breed their dogs? What makes your situation more special or deserving? Puppies for everybody. Sure, there are those rescue and shelter dogs, but they're used goods. They're not our problem, right? Only some of them are Irish Setters anyway. Yes, Irish Setters also wind up in shelters. Unfortunately, they also have rescue groups made just for them.

By the way, I think it's strange that you're discouraging people from considering the effects of backyard breeding even though you've said that you don't know what backyard breeding is. You seemed almost satisfied that you don’t know or care to know what the term means. Why was that? Well, while you might not have heard of the term "backyard breeding," I'm guessing that you have encountered the terms "overpopulation," "animal shelters," "rescue groups," "irresponsible breeding practices," "abandoned dogs," "rehomed dogs," etc.. I will also assume that somewhere along the line, you've heard about the millions of dogs that are put down every year because of the overpopulation problem. Most of those dogs come from backyard breeders. They’re all related.

There’s something else I’m caught on, too. It sounded like you were suggesting that buying dogs for others is perfectly fine. Then I guess that it would only be a good thing if your children's high school girlfriends or boyfriends give them dogs for the holidays? And it would also be cool if the dogs are named after them? Most teen relationships last forever, right? I'm not sure if their university dormitories will accept the dogs, but you wouldn’t have any problem keeping the dogs instead would you? Remember, it would be even better if those girlfriends or boyfriends have any relatives who are vets. That might even guarantee that there won't be any problems down the road. Ana52408 obviously loves this puppy and wants nothing but the very best for her, and all of that is very, very clear. However, reading this thread from the beginning, the people who responded with their thoughts and opinions might not have been coddling, but they were saying all of the right things. They were saying the same things that are recommended by the experts in the world of dogs, and they were doing it with the right intentions. I'm that all of us want only the best for Ana and her (really adorable) pooch.

I hope you understand my intentions in this post. There is a lot of information out there. I just ask that you take what's been said into consideration. Ultimately, you are the only one who gets to make the decisions in your life. I wish the best for you and your dogs (by the way, Irish Setters are one of my favorite breeds). I am sure there are many others who come to this site who could benefit from your experiences and from the love you share in the care of your dogs. Again, there is nothing but praise and support for the things you've done right and the responsibilities you have taken seriously. I look forward to reading those posts from you in the future.

The following is a list of contacts in the UK that deal exclusively with Irish Setters. You are welcome to contact any of the following organizations to hear what they think about any potential underpopulation problem of Irish Setters in your area.

South of England Irish Setter Club:
South of England Irish Setter Club Website
It looks like there are indeed enough Irish Setters in the south of England for them to have started a club.

A link to a large UK Irish Setter Rescue group:
Irish Setter Rescue
It's hard to miss the expansive scroll of photos of absolutely stunning Irish Setters at the bottom of the page, who have each been given up and were or are still in need of new homes.

You might not want to miss the different sections of the site. Here are some of them:

Irish Setter Rescue
Here are some beautiful Irish Setters that are looking for homes right now.

Irish Setter Rescue
Look at this enormous list of gorgeous and rehomed Irish Setters.

There are at least enough Irish Setters around for the rescue group to throw a party in their honor.
The Setter Party 2008: "Colin Waddell our Judge for the Fun Classes had a wonderful entry and every class was well filled."
Irish Setter Rescue

Here are some more helpful links:

Irish Setters UK and Ireland
Irish Setters Uk & Ireland Website

Reputable Irish Setter Breeders across the UK
http://www.irishsetter.org.uk/Breeders.htm

Irish Setter UK Breed Clubs
Irish Setter Breed Clubs

Irish Setter Association, England
Irish Setter Association, England Website

By the way, Ana, I think that Bela is a great name for her. She's a very cute little puppy, and she looks as sweet as candy. I'm really glad you've been enjoying her so much. I hope I didn't offend you earlier in the post. I wish the best to both of you. ;)

Ana52408 · Feb 19, 2009, 10:02 PM

Well thank you alll, I mean we alll have different opinions and that's what disscusions are for! You know, I'm only 15, and I'm pretty sure I don't know EVERYTHING about a dog. I might have 4, now with bela 5 even though she doesn't live with me, but they are all trained and loved and when my parents get home there like "hi ana, OMG NIKKI, JOEY, PERDI, TOBY!!!!!!!!!! im like oh hi to you tooo!!! lol but either way im the same! toby and perdi sleep with me on my bed and the other two sleep with my parents. those are the spoiled ones :P and i bought bela this huge bed thats pink and fluffy and it says princess loll its really cuteeee. you all have very smart answers and i appreciate it cause i can actually say i learned something. linnealand, you should really make that a sticky it's really good information for everyone. I love animals, any kind. Even if it's a cow, i still want to take it home! sajjw, im sooo happy my words inspired you and im pretty sure you treat your dogs very well and im sure they are all happy. i mean if nobody on here knows you face to face, they can't judge the way you are, but these people are practically experts and very helpful. I really like that all of you love animals because i really can't talk to a person that says "omg get your dog away from me!" if they don't like my dogs they can get out because this is their house!

Lol I also just realized that I went from asking puppy names to 6 page disscusion about dogs! Fascinating!

starbuck8 · Feb 20, 2009, 03:22 AM

Originally Posted by Ana52408

well thank you alll, i mean we alll have different opinions and thats what disscusions are for! you know, im only 15, and im pretty sure i dont know EVERYTHING about a dog. I might have 4, now with bela 5 even though she doesnt live with me, but they are all trained and loved and when my parents get home there like "hi ana, OMG NIKKI, JOEY, PERDI, TOBY!!!!!!!!!! im like oh hi to you tooo!!! lol but either way im the same! toby and perdi sleep with me on my bed and the other two sleep with my parents. those are the spoiled ones :P and i bought bela this huge bed thats pink and fluffy and it says princess loll its really cuteeee. you all have very smart answers and i appreciate it cause i can actually say i learned something. linnealand, you should really make that a sticky it's really good information for everyone. I love animals, any kind. Even if it's a cow, i still want to take it home! sajjw, im sooo happy my words inspired you and im pretty sure you treat your dogs very well and im sure they are all happy. i mean if nobody on here knows you face to face, they can't judge the way you are, but these people are practically experts and very helpful. I really like that all of you love animals because i really can't talk to a person that says "omg get your dog away from me!" if they dont like my dogs they can get out because this is their house!

lol i also just realized that i went from asking puppy names to 6 page disscusion about dogs! fascinating!

It did go from names onto many other things, but I'm happy you love animals like we do, and even happier that you learned something that you may have not known, from what we've said. We're not mean people Ana, we are just very passionate about our pets, as well as other animals. Many times we get upset to the point of tears, when we read about some people and the disregard they have for their pets, and breed them for profit, even though they profess their love for their pet. Or, they buy them from an ad in the paper, or pet store, and then they get mad because it is peeing in their house, or chewing their fave shoes, so into to the shelter it goes.

I'm so happy that you are not one of the people that are going to do this. I sure hope you or Danny will get little Bela spayed when she is 6 to 8 months of age. The health benefits alone, by having this done, often increases their life expectancy, and prevents some forms of cancer and other diseases. You and Danny can then cuddle and love Bela to pieces, knowing for sure that she will have fewer health problems and never have any puppies that end up in a shelter feeling cold and lonely.

I don't think any of us realized that you were just 15 either, so now I know why, in the beginning, our words to you may have seemed so harsh. I appologise if it seemed like myself or others seemed to have gotten an attitude. We get people here almost everyday, many of them 2 or 3 times your age, who just don't understand the message we are trying to get across to them, and they get very angry with us because they refuse to believe the truth, or think that their situation is somehow different. We've had people swear at us, call us and our families nasty names, and even threaten our lives here, so sometimes we are a little on edge too.

Stick around here with us Ana. You might even be able to help other people with their pets. Read some of the other threads too. We all learn a little more everyday when we do. There are many things that would have never even crossed my mind, that I have learned here.

Good luck with baby Bela! By the way, my little fur babes name is Niki too! :)

neverme · Feb 20, 2009, 03:47 AM

I think this is relevant, not to be an a**hole but come on!!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ay-314232.html

starbuck8 · Feb 20, 2009, 04:15 AM

Ana, I just read your other thread. Usually I will do some research first, but in this case I didn't! I really hope you are prepared to have FIVE DOGS! I don't think you have thought this through at all. I know for a fact that a teenagers brain does not give them the capability to see around corners, and realize consequences, but you didn't have a right to just do as you wanted when Danny's mom told you NO!

The things you said about Danny's mom are very disrespectful, and you should NOT gone against her wishes and gotten Bela for Danny. Danny lives in HER home, and HIS MOM pays the bills. Therefore, she makes the rules! You defied her, and did what she asked you not to do, just because you don't like her.

You've already said that Danny's mom has had 3 other dogs that she got rid of because she doesn't like them! I wouldn't doubt if it's because Danny doesn't clean up after them, or train them, and his Mom has to do it! Where did the other dogs go Ana? I bet they went straight into the shelter! I wonder how many of those dogs made it out? I would venture a guess and conservatively say one at least!

Even though your mom says you will take Bela when Danny's mom wants to get rid of her, I can't see where you are going to find the time, with school, dating and such, to give 5 dogs the attention they deserve! :(

This wasn't thought through by anyone involved at all! I don't think you realise the cost and care involved in this at all. Sure, your parents are footing the bill now, but are they getting everything that's needed? You can love them all you want, but love doesn't pay for nutritional food or vet visits. Five dogs are a tremendous amount of work, IF you are caring for them like they need to be cared for.

Silverfoxkit · Feb 20, 2009, 11:42 AM

Too true starbuck. Sorry, had to spread the rep. You may love animals, we all do here, but it take more then love to own them! It take money, time, and commitment, which most people often lack at your age. Are you really so sure you will still have time to manage 5 dogs, even once little Bella is no longer a tiny baby but a rambunctious adolescent an adult? Will the dogs actually get a fair amount of attention each? How do you know your boyfriends mom won't just dump off the dog, whom she might even grow to loathe just because it was against her will, while you two are at school? This was much more poorly thought out then I originally believed.

Alty · Feb 20, 2009, 02:03 PM

Ana, wow! This was not a good idea. Your boyfriends mother owns the house he lives in, she makes the rules, like it or not. If she said "no dog!" then it's "no dog!" no everyone wants to make that kind of commitment, and seeing as your boyfriend is only 16, his mother is the one that will be caring for, paying for and housing this dog.

You can't just have a fit whenever you don't get to do what you want and say "I'll do it anyway and they'll just have to accept it!" The real world doesn't work that way dear.

Say hello to your fifth dog, because if I was his mom, I would put my foot down on this issue.

linnealand · Feb 20, 2009, 02:19 PM

I'm glad you realize that one benefit of this site is that you get access to other people's opinions. Although I'm quite sure you're not going to like mine this time, I'm going to share it with you. In the end, it's not going to change anything, but I hope that hearing it like it is will give you something or other to reflect on.

To tell you the truth, I'm really, really disappointed. I'm also pretty pissed off at myself for not looking up your past posts and for not saying what my gut was telling me from the beginning (and I know I'm not alone in that). I thought the nice approach would have been more productive. I don't think so anymore.

What I just read is the definition of immaturity. What's unfortunate is that your immaturity has spread onto the life of an innocent puppy, the life of a teenage guy that you're probably not going to be with for the length of this dog's life (sorry, but it's not likely anyway), and onto the next 15 years in the life of this kid's mom (the "cock blocker" who probably just doesn't want her child to be making babies at his age), who is still his caretaker, whether you like it or not.

I think you're playing the young and naïve card. The only thing is that I'm not buying it. I think you know better, but you decided to do what you wanted when you wanted to do it. Next time, get the boy some flowers, a box of chocolates, a teddy bear, a basketball, a jacket, a watch... just not a fur baby. In a way, what you did sort of reminds me of the intentions sick girls have when they get pregnant with their boyfriends so that they won't break up with them. I also think you're smarter than you've pretended to be in all of this. You know how some girls think that acting stupid is cute? Well, it's not. It's really, really not.

If Bela does get lucky enough to be able to stay in her new home, if she does avoid paying the price of any possible resentment from Danny or his mom at any point down the road, or even if she winds up living the life of her dreams (which I really hope she does), it would be despite the bad choices that were made, not because of them. Danny and his mom are going to have to make this work. If they don't, I hope you and your parents decide to take her back. I hope you'll even be given that chance. If things go really sour, they might decide that they don't care if you want her or not.

Are you planning to go to college? What about Danny? It would be very reassuring to me if you would post some of the names of universities that allow dogs in their dorms. If you think you can get an apartment that first year, I'd love to know what schools let you live off campus the first year because the one's I know don't. If you or Danny have to choose a different school because you need to take care of a dog, I imagine that would be a little upsetting. You might very well succeed in pawning the responsibilities for Bela onto your parents or on his, but that's not doing the right thing and being responsible on your side.

I realize that you really, really love this little puppy. Yes, that's an incredibly important part of having a dog, but it's only one part of a much bigger job. I think you know every single part of what I just said whether you want to admit it or not.

You're likely pissed off too, but you're going to have to consider what it's like from our perspective. Try reading the posts we just read, and then try telling us in all honesty that we shouldn't think that what you did doesn't have a single fraction of a note of manipulation, naïveté or some serious immaturity.

You are obviously a sweet girl with some very sweet intentions behind what you did. Still, that doesn't mean that you didn't know that what you were doing had some aspects that shouldn't have gone so ignored that they weren't respected in the end. A bubbly and honestly sweet demeanor might succeed for a little while in softening the story, but it doesn't give justification to the risks involved.

I have a feeling that you're never going to have to pay for making a poor choice, and I'm going to guess that Bela will also be okay. Let's hope so.

A big part of me wants to go back to edit and soften what I just said, but I'm not going to do it this time. Having learned a lesson, which is that not having anyone put their foot down and be real about should be said has probably resulted in some of the choices that have been made. I hope you learn the importance of making more selfless choices in the future. I wish the best for Bela. I also wish all of you a lot of luck.

Alty · Feb 20, 2009, 02:34 PM

Linny, I had to spread the rep but wow, wow, wow! I hope Ana reads your post and actually understands what we are saying.

I wish I had done more research, looked at previous posts when I first responded to this post, but I didn't. Good find neverme.

This was a horrible idea, I only hope that Bella isn't the one to pay the price.

Ana, you really are only a child still, and you can't expect adults to bow down to your wishes just because you want something. That shows your age more than anything.

There are rules in this life, you have to follow them, like it or not. Your boyfriends mother is looking out for her son, because she realizes that it's very unlikely that the two of you will be together forever. She's not being mean, she's being a responsible parent. You may not like it, but that doesn't mean that she's evil or mean, just a good mom.

Honey, I wish you all the best, as well as Bella, but I really don't think you thought this through very well, you just wanted a puppy and the hell with what everyone else wanted.

You need to grow up a bit, otherwise there will be severe consequences, trust me, I know, I was 15 once too. ;)

Good luck.

Silverfoxkit · Feb 20, 2009, 06:48 PM

No matter what you do in life, no matter what the intention may be, you have to look at the consequences first and you failed to do that here. There is a reason why everyone on the other thread told you not to get a puppy, there is a reason why his mom said no, whether you like it or not. You can't always have what you want when you want it. The world just doesn't work that way. All you could think was what you wanted and getting instant gratification. You failed to consider anyone else including the puppy. Getting a puppy as a gift is one thing, which is already a bad idea, but you deliberately undermined his mother's authority which you have no right to do. If I sound a little harsh, good. It seems like you need a little more harsh discipline in your life to learn boundaries and the meaning of the word "No" and that you can't always have what you want. If you don't want to be perceived as a selfish and spoiled, then perhaps you should shape your actions and words accordingly.
I really hope things turn out well for Bella, despite your brash and ignorant actions.