[neverme]

Hi Everyone,


Well over the last while, reading posts and thinking about past relationships I have come to the conclusion that sex (or the lack there of!) has a huge part to play in peoples' relationships.


So I was just wondering how do people feel about their own, or if applicable their partner, or past partners' sex drive.


Thought it might be interesting to hear what people thought. :D

[liz28]

I think you should've post this in Adult Sexuality instead of here.

But anyway, I had dated this guy almost 7 years old ago and before I got involved with him I thought I knew all about sex but boy was I wrong. He taught me things I never knew, including positions, and introduce me to role playing. I can honesty say that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have the sex life I have today. So cheers to him but he shall remain nameless.

[friend4u178]

I think you should've post this in Adult Sexuality instead of here.

But anyway, I had dated this guy almost 7 years old ago and befor I got involved with him I thought I knew all about sex but boy was I wrong. He taught me things I never knew, including positions, and introduce me to role playing. I can honesty say that if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have the sex life I have today. So cheers to him but he shall remain nameless.

You dated a 7 year old Liz? LOL ;)

[Alty]

I've had problems in the past where my sex drive is concerned. After the birth of my kids I went through a period of not wanting sex, and after dealing with some past issues I also went through a time where sex didn't feel right or good. Thank goodness I have a wonderful, understanding, caring husband.

Now I'm 38 years old and I can't get enough, thankfully hubby's on the same page so it's not a problem.

There are always going to be times in your life when you and your partner aren't at the same place sexually. Communicating, understanding and patience, well, it conquers most problems.

There are also physical reasons, mental reasons, many many different reasons sex isn't a priority in someone's life.

Right now I'm pretty darn happy with my sex life, my marital life, my life in general. I've got it pretty darn good. :)

[liz28]

You dated a 7 year old Liz?? LOL ;)

The errors I make while typing. I meant to write 7 years ago. Lol

[friend4u178]

The errors I make while typing. I meant to write 7 years ago. lol

Ha Ha... I thought he sounded very experienced for one so young ;)

[DSM521]

I agree sex his a huge part of a relationship. Because in the end it is more than just sex. It is a connection with your partner. If that physical connection is not there for whatever reason it can bring many hardships to the relationship.

My wife lost her sex drive after our first daughter. That was 9 years ago. At first I thought she did not want me anymore, she was not attracted to me, I thought she just was in the marriage just for the kids. After time you start to become a very insecure person, and I started looking at things very different. Being a young couple it was hard to talk about at first. Once we talked it made it easier to cope with but still not easy.

At times I still feel like we are roommates and not her husband. I never knew a lack of sex in a marriage could cause so many other feelings to come up. Being a young guy I knew sex was more than just sex but had no clue how important it is.

[ISneezeFunny]

Being 22... is tough.

Why? There are SO many virgins to deal with. (:d)

I've dated girls where their sex drive was so high that I had to have a talk with them so I wouldn't miss work/class anymore...

And I've also dated girls where sex was "ewww gross...you want to do WHAT?" (... and they were 20... 21... )

So yeah. Is it important to me that we have a good sex life? Yes, it is, but it isn't the most important thing to me. I dated one girl who had problems with intimacy, and we had a good 5 - 6 months without any sort of bedroom intimacy, but lots of hugging/kissing.

[Alty]

Not that there's anything wrong with being a virgin at 21 right Sneezy? ;)

I have to say that at a younger age I couldn't get enough sex, I think I might have been a teenage boy in a past life. Sex was a very big deal in any relationship I had back then.

No matter what ,sex is important, it's intamacy, it's a way to express your love for someone else (okay, that sounds so darn sappy I actually feel a bit sick) but really, it is!

[Chameleon24]

I believe that it is an important part of a relationship. But it's not the ONLY part of a relationship.

I enjoy what I have going on now (lol). My boyfriend is adventerous and I've been trying new things with him and I have no problem with it. I really like it... learning new things. I find it interesting. And he makes me feel comfortable about it... he doesn't pressure me into anything. We take it slow and see what we like :)

[neverme]

I think you should've post this in Adult Sexuality instead of here.

Well the question was more directed towards how sex affects relationships rather than wanting to know any details.. so I thought the relationship forum was more apt.

[neverme]

I have to say that at a younger age I couldn't get enough sex, I think I might have been a teenage boy in a past life.

Lol! I've thought that myself in the past :)


I agree with your whole post though as important as the basic sexual urges are, it all becomes much more important when it's an act of love. (an act of love? I never thought I'd hear myself use that line? )

[neverme]

I believe that it is an important part of a relationship. But it's not the ONLY part of a relationship.

I enjoy what I have going on now (lol). My bf is adventerous and I've been trying new things with him and I have no problem with it. I really like it....learning new things. I find it interesting. And he makes me feel comfortable about it...he doesn't pressure me into anything. We take it slow and see what we like :)

No by no means is it all of a relationship but I find that there is this need to downplay it by a lot of people and as other posters have said, it is an integral part of a relationship.

Glad it's working out for you though ;)

[talaniman]

Sometimes life gets in the way of sex, as with pregnancy, illness, or surgery, kids, work etc, so adjustments must be made, but even when the sex is good, the relationship can be down in the dumps, and vice versa. For sure you better be on the same page as resentments over enough sex, or too much, will cause some very deep rifts in a relationship.

[neverme]

Well Tal I couldn't agree more. The fact is though that when a relationship starts to lose the sex life it is normally an indication of a much bigger problem.