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danielnoahsmommy · Feb 10, 2009, 10:30 AM

Why should it be bothering me now? Should I be upset? Any advice you can give would be appreciated.:eek::mad:

kctiger · Feb 10, 2009, 10:36 AM

Did he do something at the party that gives you reason for concern? I am not really understanding why you would be mad otherwise... unless you think he intentionally tried to hide it from you.

artlady · Feb 10, 2009, 10:38 AM

I would be upset if I found out I had been deceived for 10 years.

I would learn to get over it but I would be mad about any kind of deceit.Clearly,he felt he had to hide this from you,as evidenced by your reaction 10 years after the fact.

I'm betting it wasn't just a guys got together and played cards and drank bachelor party ,right?

Yup,Id be mad! But I would let it go,after all,something must be working to sustain your marriage for 10 years. Concentrate on that and this will be something you laugh about at your 25th anniversary.

A lot of times,it's the friends who set these things up so be sure to place blame where it is deserved.

Ber Rabbit · Feb 10, 2009, 10:41 AM

It sounds like you're angry about something that happened 10 years ago. Is there something else going on now that is the real issue fueling your anger? If everything in the relationship is fine now and nothing other than a little revelry happened at the bachelor party you might want to see a doctor. A hormonal imbalance can make you over-react to non-issues.

Please give us more information.
Ber

Emland · Feb 10, 2009, 10:57 AM

I'm at a loss as to why you are so upset. Does everything he does have to be under your control?

Romefalls19 · Feb 10, 2009, 11:09 AM

Was it agreed that having a bachelor party was not allowed? I'm not seeing a problem with a bachelor party unless something happened.

danielnoahsmommy · Feb 10, 2009, 11:27 AM

They went to a strip club... he knows that I find it offensive.

danielnoahsmommy · Feb 10, 2009, 11:28 AM

Also bothers me that he hid this fact for 10 years

Emland · Feb 10, 2009, 12:10 PM

If this is the worst thing that has happened in the last 10 years, I think you are pretty lucky.

Rent the movie "Live, Nude Girls" Live Nude Girls (1995)

It's about a woman freaking out about her fiance's bachelor party when in fact all the men were doing were drinking beer and shooting bull.

Romefalls19 · Feb 10, 2009, 12:13 PM

I'm still not seeing a problem with the bachelor party, unless he went and boinked one of the strippers. Like Emland said, if this is the worst of your problems, you are really lucky.

spitvenom · Feb 10, 2009, 12:14 PM

If he would have told you the next day he went to a strip club for a bachelor party would you have not married him?

Gernald · Feb 10, 2009, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

they went to a strip club...he knows that I find it offensive.

First off that was 10 years ago, forgive and forget. At least he didn't do anything worse than that. It might not have been his idea to go, maybe his friends coerced him in to going and he didn't want to say no so he went. Plus think about it, it was his last nigh of "freedom" he might have felt the need to do something that he would never be able to do again once he was married. Just be thankful he doesn't go to strip clubs now or everyday like many husbands do.

ZoeMarie · Feb 10, 2009, 12:14 PM

I would try to let it slide, although he could have mentioned it 10 years ago. Does he go to strip clubs now? If he hasn't been since, I wouldn't worry.

Alty · Feb 10, 2009, 12:23 PM

Let it go, all in all this isn't that bad.

Obviously he realized that you would freak out, and you proved him right. It was 10 years ago, no changing it now.

Forgive and forget, or get an ulcer over nothing.

danielnoahsmommy · Feb 10, 2009, 12:42 PM

I know he did nothing. I guess I have to let it go. He really is a good guy.

Lowtax4eva · Feb 10, 2009, 12:48 PM

He probably didn't say anything cause he knew you would say no or get mad or have 100 questions or rules.

I bet he felt like he had to lie about it.

Did he tell you or you found out some other way?

danielnoahsmommy · Feb 10, 2009, 03:11 PM

My brother in law let it slip

Ber Rabbit · Feb 11, 2009, 11:28 AM

Let me tell you my "boyfriend went to strip club" story:
A guy I dated many years ago and his boss went to the local strip club, personally I couldn't care less if my man watches females he can't have.

This boyfriend got drunk on MY credit card and then started buying drinks for the dancers. He racked up a $400 bill on my card then went driving and wrecked his truck. He had the nerve to call ME to bring my parent's truck to pull him out of the ditch... not happening Sherlock.

He lied to a tow company to get them to pull him out of the ditch so he didn't get a DUI. He never did pay me back the $400.

Relationship didn't last long after that.

Your man went and watched some girls dance, be glad that was the extent of it and let it go. :)
Ber

18Ahunnie · Mar 12, 2009, 07:03 PM

How did you find out?

Lama22 · Mar 12, 2009, 07:16 PM

Umm I don't understand y itd be a big deal. Isn't that what guys do bfor they get married. Didn't u have a bachelorette party? Well if u two have been married 10 years then u must have something going on good between u two. Don't let the smallest of your worries in the way. But also if he's kept this from u, and it took u 10 years to figure out... What else could he be keeping.