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Flashpitstop · Mar 19, 2009, 03:02 PM

Wow, this history sounds similar with mine, except my girlfriend didn't say she slept with someone, but her emotional things, and personality are the same, it really destroys our self confidence... Im so scaried why the girls are cheating like that, can't understand what make them do that... and how to get off that kind of girl, how to identify when you meet that kind of girl!

artlady · Mar 19, 2009, 03:27 PM

why is she playing games? I told her I was done.

You answer some need of hers but I can assure you it is something that she can use you for as that seems to be her only way to behave in life.

Good that you ended it before she sucked the life out of you.Thanks for the update and stay strong!

Claire58 · Mar 19, 2009, 03:30 PM

You should break up with her now, the sooner the better. The more you stay in this relationship the more rooted you;ll become in it. If you have no intentions of ever marrying her, leave now. Plus your happiness is at stake!

letmeknowtruth · Mar 19, 2009, 03:51 PM

Claire58;1614829, you should break up with her now,

I did end it. 4 days ago. I just want to know why she is still texting me saying "Hey, I just wanted to say hi and to see how things are going 4 u".
I don't get it

nikkiharms3 · Mar 19, 2009, 04:15 PM

Perhaps she guenuinly does care, and wants to make sure you are OK?

Just explain to her that you need some time out, and that you don't need her texting you as its making it harder.

BlackVY · Mar 19, 2009, 04:28 PM

Maybe she is hurting and knows what she lost... and is wondering if you are hurting too and missing her...

If u wrote back something like "I'm in serious pain, I miss u so much"... or something like that, then she will know you are missing her and are in a state where she could come back to you. So its like she is just testing the waters to see if she can get back in

But since you told her you are done, and are not talking to her now, she is most likely going to think you are doing fine and moving on from her, which means she might start doing the same because she sees there is no hope, no reason to hold on to you anymore

letmeknowtruth · Mar 23, 2009, 09:33 AM

Threads merged and edited

Hey Everyone,

Before I met my ex of 3 years, she use to drink and party heavily. She would drive drunk as well from what I was told. When we started dating I told her I didn't want her doing that and she stopped. She stopped drinking, she stopped the heavy partying. Even her and her parents said I changed her and made her a better person.

Well about 18 months into the relationship she switched jobs, got new friends that were just dumb, started going out more, and drinking more. She started lying about little stupid things. Then all of the sudden, she got 3 tattoos and told me my religious beliefs bothered her. I told her I believe in god and that I have a great heart. She told me that wasn't going to get me into heaven and that I have to go to church every Sunday and turn people on to god.

Regardless I told her none of that makes me feel different towards you. We decided to take a break. In 3 weeks she slept with 4 guys. Started drinking every night and driving home drunk. Going to parties and flashing her boobs. Her one friend even called me and told me that I have to do something and that she's out of control. So I stepped in.

After another week she stopped doing that and cried and apologized to me. Said she was sooo sorry. Well... about 3 months ago it all happened again, she got another tattoo, got her tongue pierced and brought up religion and politics again. I'm not one to judge but she's a hypocrite preaching what she does and then doing what she does.

Finally about 2 weeks ago I ended it. I said I am done. I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks. I have kept NC strict. Even though she called me twice and txt me about 4 times. Her one friend called me again and she that she's drinking heavily again.

My question to everyone is... Should I help her again or is it out of my hands. I mean I am a caring human being and I don't want to see her kill herself or someone else while she's driving, but what else can I do.

Does she have some sort of problem that she needs help with? It just makes me feel sometimes that its my fault. Why does she always act out when she gets tattoos and piercings? I could use some advice.
Thanks Everyone

talaniman · Mar 23, 2009, 10:34 AM

Letmeknowtruth;1621706
My question to everyone is... Should I help her again or is it out of my hands. I mean I am a caring human being and I don't want to see her kill herself or someone else while she's driving, but what else can I do.

I understand you care, but you can't save her from herself. You can suggest she get help, from a professional, AA, or a physician, but its up to her to do the work necessary to save her own life, and get off the path of self destruction she is on. I also suggest you educate yourself through Al-Anon, or the net about people who suffer from the disease of alcoholism, and pass it on to her friends so maybe they can convince her of the help she needs, as its out there, but she has to go get it. I don't advise you to step in yourself, as she is already dependent on you, but I wouldn't rule out intervention (something else to learn about) at some point LATER.

Does she have some sort of problem that she needs help with? It just makes me feel sometimes that its my fault. Why does she always act out when she gets tattoos and piercings? I could use some advice.

She is a drunk who needs professional help, and unless she admits it to herself, and wants help the right way, from the right people, she will continue to self destruct, until her own actions stop her... jails, institutions, or death, is where she is headed.

Sorry guy, not an easy position to be put in, so pray for her, and educate yourself, so her friends can have a source of facts, and options.

letmeknowtruth · Apr 7, 2009, 12:30 PM

Hey, Well it's been about a month since I broke up with my ex. I am feeling pretty good.
I do still think about her time to time, but I know I did the right thing and I know she wasn't good for me. For the past month have been taking time for myself. I recently started talking to a new girl and she seems very nice. I am taking it slow as I don't want to rush into anything. I did find out some disturbing things though. I ran into one of her best friends last week and she said she is no longer friends with my ex. It turns out my ex was doing lines of coke at a bar while she was still with me. That's just horrible. Can she can Hep. B or C from that? That worries me. Any advice?
Thanks to everyone for their help. I am now a stronger and smarter person because of this site.

jmw0713 · Apr 8, 2009, 06:13 AM

Only worry about what you do. She will be doing her thing and making her own choices. She is going to have to live with whatever consequences result from her choices.

Take a valuable lesson from this particular experience and do not go searching for shreds of your ex's life. More often than not, you're not going to like what you hear.