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babymama9 · Feb 8, 2009, 09:33 AM

Ok I know the answer to my own question but here it goes.
I am 21 in a loving relationship with my boyfriend. I found out I am pregnant.
On December 10,2008 I got my normal period for December the on December 29th I had sex with another man. It was protected with a condom nothing broke leaked. Then On January 5 2009 I got my normal period for January on time. The toward the end of my period on Thursday January 7 2009 I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend for the whole weekend. The we didn't have sex for the rest of the month and I did not sleep with anyone in January then Feb 1 I took a home pregnancy test positive and went to the dr did an ultra sound they went from my last menstral cycle which puts me at 4 weeks and some changes. I just need reassurance that its impossible for the other guy to be it I don't want any surprises 9 months from now. So all in all I know its just guilt killing it was the first time I cheated and last and I regret doing it.. Because if I keep doubting it then I'm just not going through with the pregnancy

Fr_Chuck · Feb 8, 2009, 09:44 AM

It is most likely the boyfriends, but you can not be 100 percent sure till the baby is born and you do a DNA test.

dimonthecoast · Feb 8, 2009, 10:05 AM

Babymama - May I ask you a question? The female body works like the seasons, there is a time to plant, time to nurture, a time to reap and a time to die off. These seasons have certain symptoms - Body temperature and mucus. The most common for women to notice is the change in her mucus discharge. The clear, stretchy (like what you see in a raw egg) indicates fertility. As it changes to a milky, watery or thicker substance, the body is less likely to be fertile. You can find all of this in any natural family planning instruction and I am only giving you the cliff notes version. So the question is, did you notice this clear stretchy substance during your encounter with the other guy or your boyfriend? Every women's body is different so counting the number of days after your period is not a good guide. For me, I'm fertile right after my period and sometimes my period overlaps this time.

On another note - I chose the second option many years ago. What the pro-choice people don't tell you is the effect that that choice has on you later in life. I would give anything to have kept my child, and the situation of her conception was "less than ideal."

Jake2008 · Feb 8, 2009, 10:10 AM

If I'm reading this right:

December 10th, regular period.

December 29th, sex with man #2

January 5th, normal period

January 7th, sex with b/f

Ultrasound puts pregnancy at 4 weeks.

Counting from when you had sex with your b/f on January 7th, is approximately 4 weeks as the ultrasound said.

If you got pregnant on the 29th of December, when you had sex with #2, you would not be four weeks pregnant, you would be almost 7 weeks pregnant, and you would likely have not had a period January 5th.

My guess is, that it is the b/f based on what you said. Considering you had a normal period after the 29th of December, on January 5th, I would say the b/f is the father in my opinion.

babymama9 · Feb 8, 2009, 10:22 AM

OO and I forgot to write that guy #2 had a vasectomy after his last child 5years ago.. It my mind playing games on me and its driving me insane

Jake2008 · Feb 8, 2009, 10:32 AM

You need to calm down sweet-pea, and do the math here lol

Read my answer, and check my math on a calendar. Add to #2, that not only did he use protection, but he had a vasectomy to boot!

It is, in my humble opinion, highly improbable that #2 is the father, unless I missed something major. There is no way you could have had sex with him December 29th, and only be four weeks pregnant. You would be almost 7 weeks pregnant.

Believe me, I do remember those years with panic, going through what you are now.

dimonthecoast · Feb 8, 2009, 10:34 AM

When we do something that makes us feel guilty, then we need forgiveness - NOT from your boyfriend. Although I do not advocate deceit, it's not his fault you made this error in judgment, so he shouldn't have to encounter it. Go to God, ask forgiveness, make a commitment not to do it again, then forgive yourself.

DoulaLC · Feb 8, 2009, 12:28 PM

My vote would go for the boyfriend due to the timing and the various circumstances involved... condom use, vasectomy, etc..

As dimonthecoast said, learn from the experience... make better choices in the future.

Wishing you a smooth and easy pregnancy.

babymama9 · Feb 8, 2009, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

You need to calm down sweet-pea, and do the math here lol

Read my answer, and check my math on a calendar. Add to #2, that not only did he use protection, but he had a vasectomy to boot!

It is, in my humble opinion, highly improbable that #2 is the father, unless I missed something major. There is no way you could have had sex with him December 29th, and only be four weeks pregnant. You would be almost 7 weeks pregnant.

Believe me, I do remember those years with panic, going through what you are now.

Thank You all so much.. I laid everything on the table (got to love the internet) There is no missing pieces. Above all I did not sleep with anyone in January besides my boyfriend.. January 11 is that last day we slept together and I did the ovulation calendar and I was most fertile between Jan 13-18 since sperm lives for a few days. Mathematically and Logically its my boyfriend child But guilt is so hard. I do need to ask for forgiveness. That's the only way I can heal. I will never do it again.. Memo to all women don't cheat on your loving boyfriend its NEVER EVER worth it...

Jake2008 · Feb 8, 2009, 03:56 PM

Keep in mind you are only human.

Don't be so hard on yourself. This will all turn out the way it is supposed to, and you'll be a better person for it.

Good luck. :)

dimonthecoast · Feb 8, 2009, 07:29 PM

Big F.U.'s are not that we make mistakes, only when we don't learn from them. Keep in mind that there is NOTHING God won't forgive. You are much wiser now than you were yesterday. I wish you, your baby and your boyfriend the best of everything!

emmasmithxo · Feb 8, 2009, 08:07 PM

I definetley agree that the father of your baby is your boyfriend. The math all adds up and the other guy you slept with has had a vasectomy and you guys used protection. I think its highly unlikely that the other guy is the father. Also, stop putting yourself through this and stop worrying. I think its a little clear that your boyfriend is the father.
Good luck
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