Check out some similar questions!

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 05:01 PM

Does anybody think it dumb for a younger guy (who's gay) to date an older guy. The younger guy is 25 and the older one is 50. You see this all the time in the straight world, right? Or is this just ridiculous? Just curious.

rockerchick_682 · Feb 7, 2009, 05:04 PM

25 to 50 is a huge difference! Whether you're straight or gay, it still seems strange to me.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 7, 2009, 05:07 PM

Age is only a issue if it is to the two of you.

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by rockerchick_682

25 to 50 is a huge difference! Whether you're straight or gay, it still seems strange to me.

I thought it seemed a little odd but he asked me out. What I am going to say, no? I'm not crazy! (And he's not looking for a sugar daddy, I know that for sure).

Alty · Feb 7, 2009, 05:20 PM

As long as the other person is legally old enough to date then I don't see a problem.

If you two get along, have things in common etc, then why not?

Go for it, then tell us how it went. :)

zeeniee · Feb 7, 2009, 06:41 PM

Generally I would say maturity and being on the same page, mentally and emotionally is more important from 25 years of age onwards.

However in this case there is a huge generation GAP!

This would only work well if the 25 years old person iS a very mature person to relate to the 50 year old person and vice versa. In such a case I don't see it as a problem.

Alty · Feb 7, 2009, 06:47 PM

I know many people who are married and there's a 20 year age gap or more. It depends on the people, their interests and yes, their maturity.

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by zeeniee

Generally i would say maturity and being on the same page, mentally and emotionally is more important from 25 years of age onwards.

However in this case their is a huge generation GAP!

This would only work well if the 25 years old person iS a very mature person to relate to the 50 year old person and vice versa. In such a case i dont see it as a problem.

Oh I know it's a huge generation gap--gosh, I was 25 in 1983. Yikes! Hey, that's not that long ago now is it?

Oh he's so cute though. He just left me a message that he was excited about seeing me tomorrow for dinner. He's adorable, how can I refuse?

Seriously though he is a really mature kind of guy (a law student-- not the average party-hearty types his age). And I'm awfully immature for my age (young at heart I like to say). So maybe we kind of meet each other half way.

Thanks for your comments.

Alty · Feb 7, 2009, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by cadillac59

Oh I know it's a huge generation gap--gosh, I was 25 in 1983. Yikes! Hey, that's not that long ago now is it?

Oh he's so cute though. He just left me a message that he was excited about seeing me tomorrow for dinner. He's adorable, how can I refuse?

Seriously though he is a really mature kind of guy (a law student-- not the average party-hearty types his age). And I'm awfully immature for my age (young at heart I like to say). So maybe we kinda meet each other half way.

Thanks for your comments.

You're older but not dead. I say go for it, you're both adults, it's not like he's 16. ;)

Go have fun, see if you two have a connection, you only live once.

You do realize that I want details, right? ;)

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 09:23 PM

You're older but not dead. I say go for it, you're both adults, it's not like he's 16.

Go have fun, see if you two have a connection, you only live once.

You do realize that I want details, right?

Yes, thank you. You're very kind.

This isn't the first time I've been involved with a younger guy. When I was 42 I had a boyfriend who was 20 and I was truly in love with him. We were together for a year and it was really great. You know it was that kind of passion you have about someone you really love, you think about all the time, you care about? It's the sort of thing that poets have written poetry about and all of that.

So maybe there's some pattern here or something. Maybe I'm immature for my age, who knows?

Thanks again, I'll let you know how it goes.

neverme · Feb 7, 2009, 09:29 PM

It's not weird at all, go for it.

And you see it more often on the gay scene, esp with men, than you do in straight relationships, I would say.

Enjoy.

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

It's not weird at all, go for it.

And you see it more often on the gay scene, esp with men, than you do in straight relationships, I would say.

Enjoy.

Yes, there is a difference in the gay scene and I've heard it explained this way (which I think is interesting): in straight relationships there's always a contrast between men and women because of gender but in gay relationships that contrast just doesn't exist because the genders match. But contrast is necessary for good relationships to exist and for them to thrive so gay men (and I suppose lesbians too) need something else for that contrast to exist. Sometimes it takes the form of age, sometimes race (ethnicity) or sometimes a combination of age and ethnicity differences. If age is too close then the male couple compete for who is sort of the lead person in the relationships. There are roles in gay relationships just like in straight ones and the contrasts allow for this.

Does that make sense?

neverme · Feb 7, 2009, 09:46 PM

Em... I don't really agree with that theory but each to their own if that's what you believe.

I don't think everything is logical. I don't think there is a rule for straight or gay people.

I think people are attracted to people. Some like older, some like younger, some have no type they can pinpoint, some... well you get the point everyone's different.

Alty · Feb 7, 2009, 09:55 PM

I know many people that are in heterosexual relationships where there is a huge age gap. Mostly the man is older, the women younger, I don't think society has really accepted the older women younger guy scenario yet.

Age really isn't a factor, like I said, as long as both people are legal there shouldn't be a problem, but some people do have a huge problem with age, sexual orientation, everything.

I've been with my husband since I was 19, he's 2 months older than me. Am I attracted to younger guys, yes, older guys, yes, but I'm married, happy, not looking for something better, or worse.

Age shouldn't be a factor, compatibility is what matters. :)

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

Em...I don't really agree with that theory but each to their own if that's what you believe.

I don't think everything is logical. I don't think there is a rule for straight or gay people.

I think people are attracted to people. Some like older, some like younger, some have no type they can pinpoint, some....well you get the point everyone's different.

I think there's been a book or two written about this but I've always liked that theory because it makes sense. There are certain things about men and women that just fundamentally make them different. So in a straight relationship where age is the same, occupation, ethnicity, and so on, there will always be contrast because of the differences in gender.

Now in same sex relationships gender is the same so something needs to compensate and create contrast. It can be many things I suppose. Some say gay male relationships are at their best with about a 7 or 8 year age difference, which is not the same in hetero-relationships.

Maybe it's a lot of hooy but it makes sense to me.:)

cadillac59 · Feb 7, 2009, 10:06 PM

I don't think society has really accepted the older women younger guy scenario yet

I agree. But look at Ashton Kutscher and Demi Moore (he's 30, she 47). And Madonna's been seen with a 23 year old Brazilian dude and she's 50.

Sharon Stone was with a 24 year old guy for a while and she's 50--everyone gasped. Some guy said, "She's pretty hot for a 50 year old" and another said, "Yeah but she's got 50 year old parts!" I had to laugh about that one.

talaniman · Feb 8, 2009, 12:09 PM

Date and have fun, and see if there is enough there to keep dating.

Don't be a hopeless romantic, and stop looking for differences between gays and straights.

Now shut down the brain for a while, and relax, and have fun. Just don't get carried away, but I have told you that before haven't I?

cadillac59 · Feb 8, 2009, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Date and have fun, and see if there is enough there to keep dating.

Don't be a hopeless romantic, and stop looking for differences between gays and straights.

Now shut down the brain for a while, and relax, and have fun. Just don't get carried away, but I have told you that before haven't I??

Hi Talaniman:

I was hoping you'd chime in. I'm going out on a date tonight with this fellow and I was hoping to hear from you before then to get your approval or condemnation:). I always like your advice, so thanks! No wonder you're a relationship expert~~;)

cadillac59 · Feb 8, 2009, 01:02 PM

Ooops! Excuse me, "senior" relationship expert!

talaniman · Feb 8, 2009, 04:04 PM

It's a tough job but somebody has to do it.

The point is life is to short to be caught up in meaningless crap!