[Markn]

Hi Matt

It's six months on from your posting and 18 months on from her death and I don't know if you're still looking at this but it is really important how you deal with her death. We all have different experiences and in my case it was all swept under the table. People didn't want to mention my loss so it got buried. I've paid the price for that over the past 30 -plus years. I was 12 when my mum died and I didn't even get to see her body or go to her funeral. But for many people the death of a parent at that sort of age creates post stress disorder. Loss or other triggers bring back the old feelings that were felt at the time. The answer is to talk your feelings through. Don't bottle them up. It's best if you can find a councillor or trained listener or a sympathetic friend. It is a terrible thing to lose your mum and you are OK to feel bad about it. But life can be OK again - though always different.
Mark

[brittany1996]

I lost my mom 3 years ago I was 11 and it was right after she had brain sugery she died in my arms and no I live with my grandma and I have a hard time I kepp saying to myslef stay storng but its hard I know how you feel just stay strong

[hansi1923]

Although my mother was 87, she wasent your avarage 87 she was always a young soul to me. It has been now a month since she died. Every day I would call her to see how her day went and now when I think of the calls most where kind of funny. I was alone wit her when she died although I have 7 other brothers and sisters that live much closer then I. its very hard making it through a day without reliving the night before she died I just cannot stop hearing her voice. It keeps haunting me. Today I felt so ill as if I have weights on me. It hurts so bad

[hansi1923]

Their are no anserws everyone is different. Just keep in mind that although you lost your mother the sun still rose the next day. There will never be a bandage that will fill the whole left in your heart, believe me I know. Just as you travel through be a good person respect yourself and others and if there is a heaven I'm sure your mother will be looking down with such a smile on her face that would make her proud.

[shannonxxxx]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 12 and my mum just passed away 3 months a go, she was 28. She was like my best friend and I live with my grandparents too now. I don't have a dad either. My little brother is only 5 and he doesn't understand what's happened. I was just looking for some advice just as you are. I am suffering from depression, and I'm finding it very hard. People tell me it will get better in the end, and I will just remember all the good times. But I feel like I'm never going to get over this. I was being bullied for a few months before she passed and she got me through that, but now I'm at a different school it's a lot better. But advice to you, is to talk to someone who's going through the same thing as you, I know someone that's going through someone similar to me, and when I spoke to him, it made things a little easier, because I know you probably have the same feeling I do, that you're alone. But talking to people and looking a sites like this I found out there's so many people going through the same thing. Hope this helped. Shannon xx

[timewillheal]

I lost my Mom approx 3 weeks ago on July 6 2011. She died suddenly and alone in the hallway of her apartment building of COPD she had just turned 55 years old. It is so hard for me I feel so alone and lost without her. She was my best friend we talked almost every day sometimes a few times a day. We did everything together. He was the one person I relied on for everything. People keep telling me I need to be strong and the I cry a lot so I should get help to deal with the grieving. I don't think councilling works for me. I think time will help heal my pain. No one can tell you how to grieve or when you will feel better as everyone is different. Just know how much your mom loves you and will watch over you. Hold the memories close to your heart and take things one day at a time. Your mom would want you to be happy and make her proud. It is hard accepting that you can't bring your mom back believe me I know but know that time will ease your pain. Hold a picture of your mom and talk to her I find that helps. If your mom was spiritual and believed in God she will hear you. Keep talking about your mom and the memmories you have her legacy is now going to be through you.

[melmum]

I have just lost my mum 2 weeks ago and its gets dificult everyday.. I miss her so much that I find it hard to cope... hers was a sudden death and she was fit as a fiddle and never been to a hospital,but that day she wanted to go to the hospital because she couldn't breathe and never came back,she had so much to live for.. I have given up hope in life,losing her is too much to handle because we were like friends and she was a mother figure to everybody because she had an open and giving heart.. this loss is unbearable...

[timewillheal]

I am sorry to hear about your mum. It is very hard to lose a parent that you were so close to and was so caring. Especially when it is unexpected. I know how you are feeling just wishing you had a chance to say good bye and let her know how much you love her. Please know that she does know how much you love her. I am not going to say it will get easier because how can it ever be easier to forget about your mum nor should we ever forget. It has been 4 months since my mom passed away and I still cry everyday. Some days are better than others now. I believe that my mom is watching over me and helping me get through this as your mum is watching over you. They would not want us to not go on living even though if feels like you can't your mum would want you to live a full happy life. She was a caring person try to think of what she might tell you in this situation and know how much she loves you. I find for me that it is been harder at times of celbrations like birthdays and I was dreading Christmas but my mom loved to celbrate it so I am going to also but know that it will be an emptional day for me also because I can't share the holidays with her. But the last thing our mothers would want is for us to stop living. When certain things happen in my daily life that I would usually call my mom about and when I realize I can't it is really hard I cry and cry but then I just talk to her in the hopes that she can hear me. A few times I even picked up the phone and called her #. Right now you probably feel like the pain and emptiness is unbearable I know as I have been through it and still am but you will start to have better days. Try to get sleep because lack of sleep will make you more depressed. It is important to talk about how you are feeling with friends and family some may not be there for you as they are dealing with their own grief or some just don't know what to say. I created a Facebook page for my mom and I find it helps me a lot. Some people post pictures of my mom or shares memories of her. When I have really bad days and for the first 3 months every day was so hard. I post on their and express my feelings. Someone usually reaches out to me to comfort me. You would be surprised at the ones who show they care the ones you least expect to. Even if know one does I feel better because I got what I was feeling off my chest. Somedays I cry so bad I feel ike I can't breath or get pains in my chest. This is one of the hardest things that we will go through in life. The most important thing to remember is that your mum is watching over you and she would not want to see you give up on life. She understands how difficult this is. I also started watching the medium on Sundays on TLC Teresa Caputo I find that helps me also it reminds me that our mom is watching over us and I want to make her proud.If you ever need to talk I am here too. I know what you are going through as I am going through the same thing. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has been through it and has the same close relationship with their mom.

[hansi1923]

As long as you live it will never end, you will always long for your mother you just have to learn to cope with it that's what I learned from my mother. The last few months of her life I learned a lot. How much she missed her mother and papa. Calling out for them on her death bed. That alone taught me a lot I never knew how much my mother must have been thinking of her parents everyday of her life.

[melmum]

Thank you so much for those words "timewillheal".. we are going through the same feelings.. u are like god sent.. chating to you would be so ideal as you know what it feels like and going through the same emotions... at night I don't sleep because I think so much about her... pls keep in touch,I am so weak but after reading your response you made me feel better.god bless u

[trianaparks]

I am 32 and just lost my mom who was 49. Its been a 6 weeks and I still cry everyday. My mom died of a blood clott. I don't feel loved the way I did before. The person that said they feel like a different person... Im so with you. I have a twin sister and she is struggling but we are doing it very different and having trouble understanding the other... my heart goes out to every one of you