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DJ 'H' · Aug 10, 2006, 11:15 AM

I am feeling so fed up lately, don't feel like I am living at all - only existing. I know the path I am currently following is all wrong. It was a good escape from my last job; but now I can see that I need to change course and venture down a new path. There are opportunities waiting fro me, but I have no idea how to get there,

I want my littlin and I to be happy - I know that I would be a lot happier doing what I enjoy and do best; EntertAinment; but how on earth do I achieve that? Is it possible with a child?

J_9 · Aug 10, 2006, 02:49 PM

Oh, Holly, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I have kept up on your other thread, but really had no other words of encouragement than those already given to you.

You know, right now I feel like I am only existing too. The kids at school and me here at home with nothing to do. My life will pick up when I get back to school on the 28th.

You know, a lot of what you are feeling right now is just hormones. It will get better when your little bump starts moving. I am waiting for that post, it will be so exciting!!

You say that you have a few opportunities but don't know how to get there, well why don't you post those ideas here. You know we would love to help you!

One thing you must remember is that you probably have one of the biggest extended families in the WORLD!! You may not "see" us or "hear" us, but just know that we are on the other side of your screen.

You should drop into The Lounge for a few giggles, we love to welcome new "members" to the pool. How about a good swim and Tal will cook up some steaks.

Oh, yeah, I love the first baby picture!! You can even see his/her precious little face.

Take care remember we are all here for you.

Janine

valinors_sorrow · Aug 10, 2006, 03:23 PM

You just need a little help from the bridge building crew, my dear, to help you get from here to there. Can you be a little more specific about the work you want and why its so unattainable? If I am to help in some creative, think-tank, out-of-the-box type bridge engineering here, we need details, details, details!

And yes it is possible to live a passionate life while working and raising a child. Although I don't have kids, I have met plenty of women as passionate about their work as I am who have had kids, and they make the best mothers too. You're just having a moment of doubt, so don't expand it any further than you have to, okay?

Dream big here Holly, its good for lifting the spirits.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 10, 2006, 03:40 PM

With a family it is of course always harder but as one who has changed careers about 4 times throughout his life, you do some job to pay the bills, go to the school or training you need and then worry the people to death till they give you a chance at the job.

We can do anything we want, we just make a plan and work toward it, first things decide exactly what you want to do, then write out everything you need to do, and write a plan out to do it, then work your plan.

DJ 'H' · Aug 10, 2006, 11:58 PM

Well I am so good at DJing and entertaining Children. I am fantastic at it and thoroughly enjoy it. If I wasn't pregnant then I would enrole as a holiday rep working on the children entertainment side... but having a child prevents that... so how do I go about finding such a place in the UK that will take on a single mum as apposed to a singlton with no responsibilities. I really don't know where to start. I am prepared to move if necessary... not really much keeping me where I am... and although Pete should be a reason; with no way of knowing how he feels or if we will ever be together again I cannot afford to put my life on hold.

MY littlin has been moving around loads by the way... a very active baby just likes its Mum lol :)

Chery · Aug 11, 2006, 12:07 PM

Hi dear. I know this sounds a lot like a broker record, but at this time you need to avoid all stress as best as possible. And when one makes a plan, one always has to calculate the things that can put such on hold. It's your turn to do this, as active as you are, you need to slow down and concentrate on this main issue. You are going to be a mother and while you are designated as the one person responsible for it's nutrition, comfort and life-support, you need to be in top mental and physical condition to do so.
Sounds awfully technical I know, but that's what you have to think. You are the center of your little ones universe right now and you need to think positive, feel positive, and understand that your hormones and outside influence might make you a little 'antsy'. You'll probably have to force yourself to relax, and might not be used to doing this.
During this time, you can look at other possibilities for your future goals, share your dreams with us and your friends - be optimistic and positive about it, but still keeping in mind that as 'incubator' you will have to wait to put your plans into action. It's not really so bad, we expecting mothers all do it, and it's frustrating sometimes, but it's only a few months out of our lifetime that we have this mission. All of our children have been worth this pause in our lives and they will reward us in manners that are hard to imagine right now.
Just be patient dear, try to enjoy your pregnancy, look at the 'now' picture your in, and you'll not feel so 'strapped' into nothingness. That baby will be here soon enough, and you cannot get that feeling back - so please sit back and enjoy it and share this joy with us.
Again, look forward with optimism, and enjoy!

Chery · Sep 1, 2006, 09:56 AM

Dear DJ, your hormones are probably taking control and using your fears against you.

Of course all mothers have fears about what happens after giving birth, and yes some are justified... you will be totally responsible for a little being. When you current life is unsatisfactory, this reflects on you thoughts on the future, but this does not have to be all negative. Your little one will replace a lot of the reasons you used your energy on. You will need new energy and new goals for the both of you.

You probably feel like you're the only one thinking that there is no future, but all of us mothers feel that way, whether we are happy in a relationship or not, it's a conglomerate of all the emotions we have within us right now in our state of becoming a mother.

May I advise that you take one step at a time right now, take care of you and the baby, and get acquainted with the new world your going to be in. Then, from there, check out your options for the future.

You will have to take at least 8 months to a year to adjust (and so will your baby). Once you are stable in THAT routine you can plan for other things - what's important is that you take care of your new generation and secure his/her emotional future.

If things get too rough to handle, get with us, but you need to focus on a new demension - and I'm sure you'll see what I mean once you've given birth.

Good luck dear, and keep that chin up.

My daughter went through many feelings and she's still amazed at what she went through. Her bundle of joy has changed many things in her life, and she's happier now than she was before.