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ceddie13 · Feb 7, 2009, 03:11 PM

So today my friends mom dies from cancer, so its been a rough day and my ex texts me saying did I know and I say yeah and I'm coming home for the funeral w/e it is. Then she says aww I feel bad (about the death) and I am hurting and she's the closest person I had so I asked if I could call, and she dogs me and asks why and I said because I need someone to talk to and she says she's to busy with getting ready for the dance and stuff so maybe another time. This I tell you was at 1:30 or so and the dance starts at 8 but. Does this mean she is annoyed with me, was she really TOO busy and, also was she REALLY sorry?

neverme · Feb 7, 2009, 08:52 PM

NC NC NC NC!!

Stop your killing me man! Stop doing this to yourself.

talaniman · Feb 8, 2009, 12:14 AM

Does this mean she is annoyed with me, was she really TOO busy and, also was she REALLY sorry?

It means find another shoulder to cry on as she has a party to go to. Take the hint and disappear from her life.

Sorry for your loss.

ceddie13 · Feb 8, 2009, 01:31 AM

All right, its been so hard you know.

DJ28 · Feb 8, 2009, 01:39 AM

Originally Posted by ceddie13

alright, its been so hard ya kno.

Of course its hard but you have to do it to protect yourself, don't let yourself get hurt you might be already but don't let yourself keep getting hurt. You will find someone that loves you and appreciates you.

neverme · Feb 8, 2009, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by ceddie13

alright, its been so hard ya kno.

Ceddie,

You seem like a nice guy so I feel kind of bad for saying this but COME ON!!!

You don't even know this girl! She was quite clear from the start that she wasn't interested in a relationship with you. And you just kept on following her around!!

Strap on a pair and get over it! IT IS A CRUSH

chuff · Feb 9, 2009, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by ceddie13

alright, its been so hard ya kno.

As a fellow nice guy I know it is hard. But what is worse then not getting the girl you want, is getting the girl and being used by her. Nothing sucks worse then when you give your all to a girl and she gives nothing in return and then leaves you, and you realize you gave everything and she gave nothing. Sometimes you just have to stop and say, I give a damn ABOUT MYSELF, too much to let this woman use me, even if that means I'm going to go it alone.

ardahk · Feb 9, 2009, 07:51 AM

Ceddie,

I would start running I were you, and don't ever look back. You are way too good for that. You get setting yourself up just to get shot down again. The more you do this, one day you will not get back up.

Let it go, and stop talking to her. I can see that its pretty much impossible for you so what I would suggest is deleting her number from your phone, email from your inbox, profile from your Facebook and just get away from her and YOURSELF. You are drowning in your own tears man!

I hate to see people like this so please please, MAN UP like all of us have had to and just like you will have to - you just seem to prolong this when you can start moving on NOW.

Willpower my man, all about your willingness to do YOURSELF RIGHT - start living for yourself nobody else

ceddie13 · Feb 27, 2009, 03:17 PM

So I haven't updated in awhile I've been trying to figure things out and do whatever to keep my mind off her. I recommend the movie cash back as a good movie, but basically we started talking again feb 8th and it was nice she told me randomly she didn't like this other guy and the basic stuff and how her time with him at the dance was so so. She asks me what I think and I tell her what I heard but I kept it NON jealous because I wasn't because it was def akward. That whole next 4 days were us talking like nothing had happened then I saw the trap and fell for it I saw she was giving me signs of we could fix things eventually and I fell for it and said can we get back to how we were. Ha ha I know DUMB but that ruined the bridge I just remade she then cuts me off and says we shouldn't talk, and she was giving me back my class ring. I got it back and on v-day none the less and she was with another guy when she drove up, ( ironically) it was the guy she couldn't stand. She tells my friend she doesn't know if its over 4 ever but then I txted and called trying to figure what the heck happened BIG MISTAKE again. We talk for a hour on my way back to school about how she was hurt about how I acted and how us dating was a mistake ( a year and 2 months) , and worst of all she was working me in her "schedule" she said and then tells me how next here she might move to a juco to play softball. All the things I wanted to talk about and she throws them on me NOW, so I took her advice again and am back to NC. Its easier this time and I deleted my profile on myspace so no more temptation there, after that mon she changed me off her top friends and said on her title page "lifes to short so i'm moving on". It hurts but I understand I didn't wait and now she's gone and I am happy for her, so its been 2 weeks of NC. ANYONE want to explain how the heck she changed her view on me in 3 days I mean until that thurs we were GREAT then BAM. She said it was to hard to go back and how she thinks its best we stay away from each other even though she doesn't want to.

ceddie13 · Feb 27, 2009, 03:19 PM

I know I was dumb and I'm doing nc FULLY, so I'm asking a interpretation on what she meant. Is she pushing me away because she still likes me and doesn't want to, or did I just kill my hope of being anything any advice!!

talaniman · Feb 27, 2009, 06:49 PM

She has been gone since your first post. The rest was false hope until the last post.

Sorry for your loss, but there will be others.

ceddie13 · Feb 27, 2009, 07:42 PM

Thanks, yeah there will be I feel good about all of this thanks for the advice def.

ceddie13 · Feb 27, 2009, 09:33 PM

She is maybe with that other guy and that's fine and what not. I am also happy for her because this break up made me grow up and what not which is what I needed. From our last conversation I think she's hurting still even though she says she's not just by how she was acting. I'm not reading into it and I made a promise that I needed to change for me not her and I am, I have been working out again and praying more and everything is coming together even without her. I do wish I would have used NC when she asked me to before but I cracked now I see how being needy is DUMB and I never want to be that guy again!

ceddie13 · Mar 5, 2009, 12:38 PM

Threads merged/and edited for chat speat or text chat, whatever!!!!!!!

Hello all, my ex and me did NC for two weeks and this was the second time we have tried this. I have gained control of my neediness and just wanted to say hi that's all, I left the call neutral and said I don't expect you to call back... I mean I didn't and I for once was fine and didn't care I felt good. Then she calls and is cold at first, she asks me the normal questions why did you call, can't u talk to someone else... but here is where it gets CONFUSING. I had told my because who goes to school with her I was hanging with another girl that weekend just to see where things could go ( didn't like the girl) and she told her friends and ironically my ex over heard. So she tells me that yeah your because told me you were happy and hanging with another girl so why do you want to talk to me... it sounded like she was jealous... she was the one who was hanging all over another guy and she put I'm moving on her myspace. So we stop talking on the phone and she texts me saying why do you want to talk to me now again ( its weird because she said she wanted ME to leave her alone) so I tell her why, and she leaves off saying "tell the girl or whoever your dating that its to hard for me and I make it hard for myself without anyone else". I think she meant talking to me is hard and she can do it alone but I don't know. I have heard the countless move on advice, and have done it I mean I've got my life under control but I want to know does she miss me, is she jealous, and is it OVER still. Oh by the way when I said we haven't talked in 2 weeks she said is THAT ALL, did she miss me or what? Any interpretation is helpful.

talaniman · Mar 5, 2009, 03:52 PM

You broke NC, and now your confused or curious, but whatever she means is irrelevant, since you started this mess all over again.

ceddie13 · Mar 5, 2009, 04:52 PM

True, I guess I didn't listen. I guess its back to the old drawing board

ceddie13 · Apr 30, 2009, 12:54 PM

Threads merged

Its been at least a month since I updated my situation. I would love to tell you all that its great and I met this wonderful girl and we are getting serious... but that's so far from the truth. She has been give me weird signals like when I ask do you miss me or since she got a boyfriend now I asked are you happier without me she asked why do I care. She either avoids the question or flips it to me... I mean I've thought maybe she is over me but this new guy came in the picture when we stopped talking for like 3 weeks and before this guy even came up she tried to make me jealous with this other guy who she said was like her brother. But the funny thing about that was she went through a billion and one questions when I asked if she liked him like why do you want to know, why do you care, etc. She's def not holding anything back she def isn't being super nice so avoiding the truth when I ask her stuff isn't really her style because why hold back yes I'm happier with out you when she's already being honest. Oh and explain this to me why do women care about who you date or like when they broke up with you and then on top of that they bring it up.. but when its role reversal they blow up like you asked them there weight ( sorry if that affends anyone) its just ridiculous. I mean I still love her and care about her, but I'm better now I mean I'm getting out there getting my confidence back and what not I just would like to be friends or at least cool. But she doesn't and that's fine I just want her to be honest with herself about how she feels like she def doesn't like this guy enough to date because obviously she's not answering easy questions so I don't know. One last thing... this might sound crazy so bare with me. I have been praying that god softens her heart and brings her back to me, but if I was meant to take her abuse to have a chance later then I would because that would be his will not mine. Well I asked for a dream about her, well I have the dream about her well ironically I displace it because its crazy because you can dream what you want sometimes, but the story gets real weird ( I'm a youth ministry major) so I was in a bible class and my professor was like dreams are real, don't displace there meaning for gods will for your life. I need help friends, I know the NC rule which its basically still in affect because we really don't talk but I need to know your take on how she's acting etc. This isn't at the moment about getting her back because I need my foot in the door first. I just want to know is this guy a pro or a joe or if she even has a inch of feelings.

I wish · Apr 30, 2009, 01:13 PM

What are you trying to do? She has a boyfriend. I just your old thread and it seems like you have a history of breaking the no contact rules. If you keep breaking the rules you're never going to get over her.

But it seems like you don't want to let her go. What are you expecting? Do you really think that she will break up with her boyfriend, go back with you and live happily ever after?

Quit putting yourself through so much grief. She's completely messed up your mind. You have to abide by the no contact rules or else you're just prolonging the suffering and continuing to live in fantasy land.

ceddie13 · Apr 30, 2009, 01:30 PM

Honestly all I'm trying to do is be cool, I mean fighting with ANYONE dating, liking or whatever isn't my style. I know not everyone is going to like me and all that jazz but I guess that's why I try and continue to try. I mean I'm not the type of guy to break people up because I wouldn't want someone to do that to me either you know but I guess that's what it looks like... she's not going to break up with him and date me again, that thought never crossed my mind I guess all I want is to be in her life rather than out. Yeah she has messed my mind up but I'm allowing it so its more my fault, its like no matter how much I try to find that new girl or what ever its like my mind doesn't comprehend the change I don't know. Maybe its denial that I'm living in then she does something strange that makes me wonder.

liz28 · Apr 30, 2009, 01:34 PM

Games, games, games. Your both are playing them with each other. You need to stop it and move on and stop living on false hope. She got someone so maybe you should do the same and keep her out of your life.

Dreams are just dreams, nothing more. Last night I dream I won a million bucks so what your saying I am going win a million bucks? Don't read so much into your dreams.

Move on and let her go and stop toying with one another. She owes you nothing and neither do you.