[Rachel Braun]

So much is too many,too much is never enough.
The time moves so fast, no time is never enough.

Do not leave to soon or else there will be no more time.
Too much is not really enough for us, so lets waste some more valuable time
Together.

Time with you was not so much wasted, but very much well spent.
Well spent time with you was not wasted. It was stay in my most important organ
Forever.

The well spent time, time was very well spent with eachothers decent.

[sarnian]

Hello Rachel

is my poem good?

The idea behind your poem is excellent. You should however correct and upgrade it a little bit.
- No double terms in one line or in following lines. (enough-enough / time-time)
- Check the use of to and too : there is a difference between the two.
- There will always be time, but one can run out of time.
- You do not waste valuable time, you spend it.
- Do not repeat almost the same line again in the next line (Well spent time... )
- It was stay.. It will stay?
- Why only most important organs. Why not in your entire body?
- You have to change the last line at least towards the use of decent.

Do you enjoy writing poems? Writing them often and many?

[Rachel Braun]

Yes thank you for your help. I love writing and I have written many of poems , I just am not sure if they are good.

[Rachel Braun]

Do you write poetry?

[Clough]

Hi, Rachel Braun!

I've just rearranged and reworded your poem a little so that it looks more like a poem.

I hope that you don't mind that I did that!

I've also made some grammatical corrections in it. Beginning the lines of the poem with small case letters is just fine.

I did leave off your last stanza because I felt that it was more of an ending after the third one.

so much is too many,
Too much is never enough.
The time moves so fast,
No time is never enough.

Do not leave too soon
For there will be no more time.
Too much is not really enough for us
So, lets waste some more time, together.

Time with you was not so much wasted,
But very much well spent.
Well spent time with you was not wasted.
It was stay in my mind, forever.

You have some great starting thoughts here! And, I would encourage you to do more writing. Your poem still needs quite a bit of tweaking and rewording for it to be the best that it can be.

Have you ever written the lyrics to a song, please? Would you like to write a song on this site?

Please see what's on the following thread about that, if you're interested in doing that sort of thing here.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/writin...ng-267729.html

Thanks!

[Rachel Braun]

Thanks a lot you're a big help

[linnealand]

I think you've received some helpful suggestions.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? How long have you been writing?

If you find yourself naturally attracted to poetry, one thing that you can do to greatly improve your own writing is to read great poetry as much as you can. There are also books out there that identify various poetic forms and techniques, which will also improve your understanding of poetry in general.

One thing that I would like to add to the other suggestions you have received so far is that poetry isn't just based on ideas. As I heard one of my professors jest, that's what we call philosophy. For a poem to be successful, it should also have a foundation in images. Also, think about how your words relate to each other, be it in sound, in their meaning, or even in their spelling. I often think of poetry as a game. It's also fun.

I encourage you to keep pushing yourself. Taking classes in poetry could also do a lot to make you a better writer, or at the very least, make you a more appreciative lover of great verse.

[Clough]

Hi again, Rachel Braun!

Would still appreciate an answer to my questions that I posted in post #5 above, if you wouldn't mind doing so.

If you don't want to do that sort of thing, that's okay too.

Thanks!

[Clough]

Comments on this post
linnealand agrees: Wow! That's dedication. I like a lot of your contributions here. Nice post.

Thank you so much for your positive comment, linnealand! Are you also a writer?

Thanks!

[linnealand]

Thank you so much for your positive comment, linnealand! Are you also a writer?

Thanks!

I suppose I could be considered a writer. I started working as a professional writer for a political publication when I was 17 years old. I also worked as an editor for literary magazines and newspapers for a few years. Because I've been enveloped by my life in a country in which English is rarely spoken, I can't say I've kept that part of my life very active.

As for verse, I have been a big fan of poetry for as long as I have been reading. I have also been writing poems since I was a teen. While I used to participate in open mics and submit poems for publication (I did encounter the good fortune of having a few poems published), I haven't shown or read any of my poems to anyone in seven years (and counting!).

What about you, Clough? Do you write?

[Clough]

Hi, linnealand!

It sounds like you've done and accomplished quite a bit with your writing! I've written some things with words - like shows for students whom I've taught in schools and some poetry, but my main emphasis in the arts is music performance, composition, arranging and improvisation.

Do you play any musical instruments?

Thanks!

[linnealand]

Hi, linnealand!

It sounds like you've done and accomplished quite a bit with your writing! I've written some things with words - like shows for students whom I've taught in schools and some poetry, but my main emphasis in the arts is music performance, composition, arranging and improvisation.

Do you play any musical instruments?

Thanks!

I know you're invested in the arts, and I think that's wonderful. I used to play piano and the guitar, and I had to get a violin for my collection (it's my favorite instrument) that I can't play. I can read sheet music, if a bit slowly. Although I have a great love for music, I am just not a natural musician. That's something I can scratch of my list of things to accomplish during my lifetime. I think I have enough on my plate already, so maybe that's not such a bad thing.

What is your involvement in the world of music? I know you sometimes try to help posters write songs. What instruments do you play?

[Clough]

Thanks for asking,

I play a number of instruments because I trained to be a band, orchestra, choir and music teacher/director. My main instruments that I can play on a professional level would be piano, organ, (any keyboard instrument for that matter), tuba, baritone (euphonium), upright and electric bass. I'm also a professional singer and direct the local men's barbershop chorus that is the Rock Island, IL Chapter of the Barbershop Harmony Society which is a world-wide organization.

I've had many other involvements in music and theater, gigging, playing with groups and as a soloist...

Would you be interested in writing the lyrics to a song and learning how to compose the music?