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Krislee07 · Feb 4, 2009, 01:06 PM

I don't know who I love or who to be with. Alan was my best friend for 3 years. We started dating in August and I broke up with him because Jeremy called me, but I really miss Alan. Jeremy and I dated in high school. I loved him from day one, but I don't know. They both want to be with me forever, and I am getting older and ready to settle down in about two years. How do you know who's the one?

ja77 · Feb 4, 2009, 01:18 PM

I think at present you are not been fair on yourself or the two guys - no one on this forum can give you a 100% answer because we do not know any of you in person -

You need to think very hard and take time out to set your mind on which person you want to be with. Until you can make your mind up you should take time out of both relationships.

roxypox · Feb 4, 2009, 04:08 PM

It doesn't really sound to me as if you are ready to find 'the right one' at the moment, and why have you put a time limit on settling down? And why does it have to be one of these two guys?

It sounds as if you are confused at the moment and maybe you should stop thinking of either of them. Here are the reasons I think so, based on the info in the OP:

1. you dated alan, but droped him because jeremy called you.

which is unfair for alan, does he know? And if he knew would he want you back? To be quite honest, if I ever found myself in alans shoes I wouldn't want you back. B/c if someone dropped me like an old hat, over some x girlfriend then I would take a bite of the sour apple and move on with my life.

2. you miss alan now, but when you dropped him so easily for someone else... do you actually want him or do you miss his company?

also, it seems to me that you're putting a rush on things... how old are you?

my best advice is; why don't cut them both loose and go live life, and one day... you might actually meet a person whom you might want to settle down with, where there are no question marks, and less insecurities.