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cherryflavorred · Aug 8, 2006, 03:12 AM

I just turned 17, my girlfriend who is 16 is about a month pregnant already making plans. I am the father of the child and I live hundreds and hundreds of miles away from my girlfriend. Her mother and father are supporting her. I want to be a full part of the child's life and take care of my girlfriend, support her all the way. I live with my father and he doesn't want me being apart of the child's life he thinks its not my responsible. He doesn't want me anywhere near my girlfriend and my child to give support. I disagree. Do I have a right to be there for my girlfriend and child I don't want her to do this alone. What can I do, her parents want me to help, I fully want responsible of what I did and I want to help, can my father force me into not being apart of the child's life We both live within the United States

Krs · Aug 8, 2006, 03:36 AM

Depending where you come from..
All countries have different laws about this.

J_9 · Aug 8, 2006, 04:00 AM

Not only do you have rights Cherry, this is your responsibility!!

You do not want this little one growing up not knowing who its daddy is or wondering if it daddy ever loved him/her. Or wondering if he/she looks anything like daddy.

It is also very important that you help the mother monitarily as children are very expensive.

You were responsible enough to have unprotected sex, so you must stand up, be a man, and be responsible enough to raise the child.

I am so happy you are mature enough to understand this and I am sorry your father is not.

You just have to follow your heart and take responsibility for this little life that you helped create.

Good luck to you and keep us posted, we are always here to help.

cheechthecheechy · Aug 8, 2006, 04:00 AM

well I think the thing u should find out is when you legally become an adult and can be on your own (as in living). You can go wherever you want, whethers its to play footy, or go see your girlfriend and your child, as long as you're allowed to. What I mean by allowed to, is that if your father still controls u, and your not an adult, that he lets you.

by the way I don't want to sound as though it's a big falling apart between you and your father.

I really hope that your father will understand and see your side of the story and let you visit/support your child!

plus congratulations! =D

Krs · Aug 8, 2006, 04:01 AM

Yes J_9... again an awesome post!

Seems like this kid is more mature than his own father!

luvee · Aug 8, 2006, 04:14 AM

You are truly responsible with that act... However, there are other matters that you should think about... like... are you stable enough? Are you emotionally, financially and spirituality ready for this? It's not a matter of accepting the responsibility... but rather you should be totally ready for it. Besides, you're only 17... I am not underestimating you but you should not only be ready but armed.
I do salute you for being mature enough in dealing with this matter. YOu can talk to your father and also to your girlfriend of what set up to do as of this moment. It's not bad sacrificing a little bit more... coz who knows you're father thinks you isn't prepared yet that's why he's telling you that but its always your decision and prove it to your father. Are you still in school? If yes, better finish your school first, you can work part time and send your child financial aid... or visit your child and your girlfriend... just prove to your father that you know what you are doing and you know what you are into... action always speaks louder than words

fed up · Aug 13, 2006, 07:30 PM

I'm not sure if your father can block your intentions. It's good that her parents want you to help with the birth and the financial support. It is your responsibility. You both made this baby and it will take 2 people to raise the child. It's too bad that your father has such a dim view on responsibility. Follow your heart and do the right thing. Good luck and God bless.

CaptainForest · Aug 13, 2006, 10:11 PM

Good for you!

Your father can't stop you from participating in your child's life.

And within 1 year, you can just move out there as well…

Myth · Aug 13, 2006, 10:17 PM

Make sure that you talk to your girlfriend belly... The baby can and will be able to hear you soon and will recognize your voice if you do... Mine move when they hear their daddy.

J_9 · Aug 14, 2006, 05:44 AM

Cherry, I just want to add: It depends on what state you live in. In many U.S. states once you are pregnant, or got your g/f pregnant, you are officially emancipated.

This means you are old enough to act like an adult and make a baby, you are now old enough to be an adult.

This happened to my friend and her son found out he was emancipated at 15, he is now 19. He was 15 when his g/f got pregnant, and he had to act like the adult and take care of the g/f and the baby.

CaptainForest · Aug 14, 2006, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

Cherry, I just want to add: It depends on what state you live in. In many U.S. states once you are pregnant, or got your g/f pregnant, you are officially emancipated.

J 9, does this really exist?

I mean, how does one really know the this boy is the father?

He probably is, but the law would allow for a "maybe"?

I can see perhaps the mother, but the father?

Myth · Aug 14, 2006, 12:41 PM

It can be proven with a simple paternity test after the child is born. In most states he will already be seen as an adult because he is already 17. I don't see how a law that is carried in most states can exclude one sex from another. The system as far as it goes will look on both equally and make a judgement based on individual cases.

J_9 · Aug 14, 2006, 02:48 PM

Yeah, CF, I see your point. In my friends case they knew he was the father, paternity tests later proved it to be true.

But yes, at least here in my state if two underage youngsters get pregnant, they can be automatically emancipated. My friend's ex got to stop child supprt when the boy was 15 because he was considered emancipated.

s_cianci · Aug 14, 2006, 05:30 PM

Even though you're still a minor, you have the responsibility to help provide financially for your child and you have full visitation rights and can even attempt to get full or joint custody. Your father has no legal standing on which to try and stop you. Since you'er so young you won't be expected to pay a huge amount of child support now but your obligation will increase once you finish school. You also may eventually be ordered to provide health and life insurance for your child, whether your father approves or not.

educatedhorse_2005 · Aug 15, 2006, 03:02 AM

There are a lot of things you can do that your father doesn't have to now about.

If you have a job just get a money order from your bank and send it to her. Starting today.
You don't have to send your hole paycheck just a part of it.
As soon as she has the kid get a paternity.
Prove that it is yours and I bet your dad will see it differently now that he is a grandfather.

If all else fails right now you can all ways call her everyday during the pregnancy and talk to her she needs all the support she can get.

Where there is a will there is away.