[nanciebug]

My friend's daughter started a web-site on Xanga and put quote's about suicide, that she got off a suicide web page, into her profile. I think that this is a big red flag but he believed her when she told him it was her friend's idea.
He had previously told her not to ever start a web site on Xanga or my space but she did it at the friend's house. What do you think her punishment should be and what course of action should he take in regard's to the friends? I say she shouldn't be allowed to go to their house any more because they are unsupervised on the web but he thinks this is too harsh. She's 13 years old. What do you think?

[J_9]

Ah, 13 years old... girls... tough. I have a daughter about to turn 13 and I will not allow her to go to a friend's house unsupervised. I never leave her alone with the rare exception that I have to run to the store and her 4 year old brother is taking a nap, and during that time no internet is allowed.

That being said, the punishment not only has to fit the crime, but with children the punishment must fit the child. Is she always "defiant" or is she a rather good kid?

If this were my kid I would get together with the parents of the other child, while both children are present, mind you, and discuss this.

I would let my daughter know in advance that is what I was planning to do. This way it would give her the opportunity to come clean if she is lying about the other friend. If she does not then I would call the parents of the other child and let them know something is going on and we all need to talk. The other parents may not know that this is going on in their home.

If this would not work I would tell my daughter that she is not to go over there when the friend's parents are not there. PERIOD. If she wants to go I would make sure the other parents are there by phoning and making sure there will be supervision.

I have had to do this on 2 occasions. The first answer I gave I used because I am also very good friends with the parents of that child.

The second answer I gave was one in which I was familiar, and friends, with the parents of the child involved, but not very good friends.

Lastly, I would get rid of the Xanga or Myspace account and ban her from the sites.

[Bronica]

Yea 13 is a rough age I have a 14yr old. No no longer allowed to go to those friends house, you give a teen an inch they'll take a mile! Nor should a young teen male of female be on myspace in fact the name should be lern about sex space,there are no regulations and my 14yr old did get an inch and open her page it says she's 16! She's not! Shell not be going back over to that friends house and no internat in her room

[s_cianci]

He thinks that's "too harsh?" He obviously isn't a strong parent ; in fact, a poor excuse for one. Evidently he doesn't like to discipline his children at all. Unfortunately far too many parents today are like that. Not only should she be forbidden to go to the friend's house anymore but she should be grounded for a time for disobeying her father. He'd also better get her to a counselor about the whole suicide thing. Maybe it was her friend's idea but he cannot take that chance. This guy sounds like he needs to toughen up an awful lot or else his daughter (and everyone else, for that matter) will have no respect for him at all.

[harlequingirl]

Suicide quotes? Are there any more signs? Is she depressed? Is she hanging out with her friends? Does she have friends? These are all questions that should be considered if you think someone is going to commit suicide. She's 13 and can't have a myspace? I know its dangerous, but you have to trust her not to talk to people she doesn't know, and you should threaten her that you check her page, but don't. Its her life, her privacy. Once she thinks your on her page, she won't do anything stupid.

No wayyy! do not not let her go over her friends house. That's being a way overprotective parent.

[superdaredork]

I'm a sixteen year old guy who thinks that its not serious. It was probably just lyrics to a song or something. Myspace/xanga isn't really dangerous unless you talk to people you don't know.


The punishment?. I wouldn't punish her. I would talk to her about it, and evaluate the situation after hearing what she has to say.

[LucyMcgoo]

I say it's about attention like cutting and all that jazz. However, be weary, if your child is a follower she could get into some pretty stupid stuff.

[LUNAGODDESS]

Contact the parents... did the parents tell her not to place any personal ads on my-space and xanga and then she did... that problem is the parents... your responsibility is to be good friend and tell your parents... I have lost too many friends to suicide and murder... take the time out of your busy life and inform the responsible people... the parents... her punishment is not your business...