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skallam · Jan 29, 2009, 10:30 PM

Hi, I know there are a lot of similar questions out there, but I wanted to ask and see what people had to say about my specific case...

Me and my girlfriend started going out in the beginning of senior year of high school. We stayed together all through freshman year of college even though we go to colleges that are a plane ride away. Then right before sophomore year, I decided I wanted to go on a break just to see what else was out there and maybe h/u with some other people. Once we both went back to school, I realized the break was not for me and I told my girlfriend I regretted my decision. We were not official together for the entire semester, but we talked everyday and acted as though we were together. Everything was going good and I assumed we would officially be back together over Christmas break. Christmas break was going well and I was going to ask her to officially end the break when I found a message to her from some guy. The message was worded as if they had been seeing each other, so I confronted her. It turns out it wasn't as bad as it sounded but it was some guy she said she met once and have just been talking online and stuff. Eventually more details came out and it turns out she met him on a dating website and they went on 1 date and have been talking and now she wants to go on a break with me. She told me how much she loved me and how she could see us getting married, but she doesn't want to be older and look back at her life and think what else could have been out there and stuff. She didn't want to set a date for the break to be over or to talk about it, but she said we should both see other people to see if we really want to be together in the long term. She even drove me to the airport a few days later, so I know she does care, but to what degree?

Now this is where my dilema arrises. I trust her and believe what she says, but just don't know what to do about it. Do I try to move on and act as if we are never going to get back together? Do I h/u with random people, but always have her in the back of my mind knowing we will eventually get back together? Do I talk to her every few weeks just to keep the communication going? Do I just wait for her to contact me?

As of now it has been 1 month since we last actually spoke. A few days after going back to school I drunk texted her but that doesn't count as really talking. And I feel, the longer we go without talking the more she is out there h/u with other guys and forgetting about me. Also the more we don't talk, the more I feel like she has been lying and doesn't care about me.

What do you guys think? Any advice? Similar situations?

Yosomoton213 · Jan 29, 2009, 11:04 PM

Well, if she's on a dating website looking for dates... what would you say she feels about you?

I would say she wants out my man. Probably not what you want to hear, but it's most likely the truth. If you loved a girl, would you be on a dating site looking for another girl?

uhhleesha · Jan 29, 2009, 11:13 PM

She's going to tell you everything she can to make the fall a bit more pillow topped. It seems like she wants out. She's going on a break with you after you find out about the guy she went on a date with? Come on. I think that's a load of crock and you need to admit that to yourself. Find a better catch, you deserve it.

talaniman · Jan 30, 2009, 05:44 AM

What would you expect her to do after you poisoned the relationship, looking for greener pastures?

Think that didn't make her suspicious of how you feel about her. So now she is doing the same thing, and rightfully so, and since your not together, she has a right to talk with whomever she pleases, and its none of your business.

Leave her alone and keep seeing what else is out there, and she can do the same.

You made your bed, now you have to lie in it, without her to keep you company.

Don't make it worse by hanging on and giving yourself false hope and wishful thinking.

Romefalls19 · Jan 30, 2009, 06:32 AM

You went and looked for a better mate, didn't find one. So you thought your mate would be waiting for you to simply come back around? Life does NOT work like that. It sucks to hear, but you brought this on yourself. Just because you went out and didn't find greener pastures doesn't mean she didn't.

Welcome to the AMHD, please enjoy your stay