[Wildcat21]

Leave er alone... disappear for a few months - believe me.

[luvee]

" when someone wants out, expect a lot of alibis and reasons, but when someone wants in, even the impossible becomes possible"

[Grayfox]

I must say dude, I'm going through an extremely similar situation. Have you ever considered the possibility that its just her? Sometimes when people encounter a lot of stress or are taking on new responsibilities or rolls, things become less clear to them. Does she seem stressed? If not, then she's probably just had a revolution and wants more freedom or wants to see how much you love her. What everyone said already is 100%, nothing is better than working on yourself during this time. Turn that negative energy into positive energy, situations like this can make you do things you always wanted to do but never got around to doing. It can also make you think about what's wrong with you, and what mistakes you made in the relationship that could've led to this. One way or another, this will be a time for change, because that's what she wants. Whether its in you, or the relationship or her, change is imminent. This is a time for growing. One thing you may be worried about, is that you're going to do what these guys have recommended and not talk to her. Then she's not going to think you care , and is going to be even more positive about her choice. The question is what to do? Show her how much you care and display changes or different routines to let her know your expanding your horizons. OR . Keep to yourself and let her clean things up within her mind. Regardless, you don't want to be clingy. To an extent I think most people listen to advice, but they're not really prepared to do what is necessary, it sounds good at the time, but after about 2 days, it feels like forever and you just sort of fall apart. You can't let that happen, be strong and remind yourself of what your trying to do, keep your eye on the ball, and you never know... you may find you don't want to be back with her... or she may realize she was wrong and want to be with you again. All I can say is good luck, and I hope things go better for you then they are for me.

[Wildcat21]

Grayfox... OUTSATNDING insight!! Great Wisdom.

Everyone read this.

Your lover Won't forget you during a time of no contact. They won't forget you.

They reason for 2 or 3 months of contact is to let that person sort out their feelings... miss you... realize what they had... give them space and freedom ANY person craves at certain times in their lives...

YOU during this period of no contact work on yourself... WORKOUT, hang with friends, DATE, DATE, DATE - meet new people - maybe you find someone better suited for you - by taking time away from the relationship get A WAY BETTER perspective on what you had - you might find out and realize that person wasn't that nice to you, didn't treat you that well... maybe you gave too much... you can ALSO re-evaluate HOW you handle a relationship going forward.

[chuff]

WOW, the last two posts by Grayfox and Wildcat should be required reading for everybody who just got out of a relationship or who are questioning themselves when they may not be the problem at all. I seriously read both those posts 3 times and the words are so true. Snsju maybe you did make some mistakes but I'll bet a years salary it will be her who will look back and think she made the biggest mistake. Do exactly as Grayfox says and turn that negative energy into positive energy. Don't do it for her though, do it for you. You owe it to yourself. Wildcat is right when he says you will find someone better suited for you, and she will appreciate you for everything you offer. Look to the future not the past.