[maria26]

I really need some advice... see I had started dating this guy. Wonderful sweet caring loyal guy, and within two weeks he started planing marriage in his head, where we will be in a year... and I panicked too quick for me. Not only that the relationship was suppose to be open, but it seemed closed to me. Anyway so I got into contact with an ex and we started talking and than we had an argument... and that's when I realized I needed to break things off with the guy had been seeing. I like arguments... it turns me on, prince charming and lovey dovy is not in my behavior. So before this guy got hurt I called and told him I wanted to remain friends, he asked if there was anyone else, all the usually bs that goes with it and of course I said no. Hears the thing if I am a lousy girlfriend I am even worse as a friend. I want to be his friend, but he wants me to come to him for advice on guys and anything else I want to ask him... he wants a full friendship. So having a terrible record for keeping friends, I want to know how long should I wait to contact him as a friend... and when it is a comfurtable friendship level how many times does a friend have to contact the other in a month... sounds odd but I am terrible at anything emotional, bonds, etc. Thanks for any advice.

[Krs]

If you are a real friend you wouldn't be asking how long to wait till you should contact him :confused: :cool:

[talaniman]

Maybe working on yourself first would be a better way to go instead of trying to be something you admit you know nothing of. Be yourself first and be nice to others as opposed to argumentive, it may turn you on but believe me it turns others off.

[Krs]

Yes Tal, I agree.
Been reading a few of her posts and I read 1 of her previous post starting from Jan - April about this 1 married colleague. She needs to work on herself.

[talaniman]

A lot of times it helps to see if the person has posted before, what an eye opener sometimes.

[maria26]

I am a fine person... everyone has to work on something about themselves no matter at what stage they are in there life. My life may sound a bit crazy... but its fine with me because it is who I am. As for the married man, we are now friends and have little contact with one another. Prince charming... yes I am not a lovey dovy person, but he knows that. He also knows I am a terrible friend because I think about my schedule and needs mostly... friends come last because of time(they know that). I told him this, and he said he will take what he can... I would not if I was him, but I am letting him know up front. I just don't want to hurt him anymore than I have so that is why I asked about how long to wait, because he is a decent and wonderful guy, so I am making a bit of an attempt not to screw it up. As for arguments... only with people who enjoy it as much as I do such as my ex, he was worse than me. Which is why I have come to the conclusion that if I ever date another guy, I need him to be just as fisty and tempered like myself because that is who I am and will always be. Maybe I am a little crazy... but I know what I want. It just gets lonely on occasion, that's what leads me to accepting dates from prince charmings... but in the end I know what I want and I let them know who I am before they decide to go out with me. And yes on occasion I do make bad decisions (such as married man) but who doesn't and fyi I never slept with the married man. But I thank you for your comments... but don't judge so quickly.

[talaniman]

Not judging just pointing out that many who post a lot can be better answered with more information and previous post do provide that information to better give a good answer. Your question begs a good answer given the honest straightforward way you presented it. Glad your worrying about the feelings of others. If you think this guy wants more from you than just a friendship then best to leave him alone and not lead him on. If your on the same page as friends, then it should not be a problem as friends see and enjoy each other whenever they can.

[maria26]

Thanks talaniman, think your right... I am going to leave him alone, because I know he still has feelings and has hopes I might reconsider.

[Krs]

Good choice :)

And I wasn't judging you.

Good Luck x