[eiba]

I am 18 and my boyfriend sirc is 23. He knew a lot about mature relationship which involved sex!! I trust him not to say any private thing about us. But after, he did something wrong with our closefriend that hurts her a lot. My friend thought of a revenge which really affect my relationship with my boyfriend, she talked to me and told me a lot about what my boyfriend told her. She says that 5 months ago, my boyfriend had been frank about what we did private(sex). He illustrate it to charvit, describe all the things we've done. My friend also told me that my other friends and his co-workers already knew it. I confirmed it to them if it is true then they say yes, it is true. They told me everything. I talked to my boyfriend but he did not confirm those things. He said that my friend was just lying. My God! Its my friend for years. I know when will they lie or not. I ask for a break-up even if its hard for me. He really loved me. We've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. The only problem is HE Don't KEEP ANYTHING PRIVATE! :mad:I did everything not to tell my friends about it because I'm afraid for what they may tell me. Now, I fell dirty!:o But still, I love him. I want to have some reconciliation but I don't know if it is the right thing to do. IM BEGGING! HELP ME! I NEED ALL YOUR SUGGESTIONS! :(:(:(

[JBeaucaire]

You can't control what other people say and do. You're going to have to just let that betrayal go. There's nothing to be done.

A better thing would be for you to stop fearing the sex issue. People have sex. It's private, yes, but it's not an unknown thing. And it's certainly not dirty, not that our parents or friends help us to realize that very often.

You can talk to your friends about sex, too, just without mentioning hard to talk about things like body parts and such. Just talking about it might actually take some long-needed stress off your chest, so to speak.

But even if you decide you can't/don't need to talk about it with your friends, you should still move it out of the "icky" zone in your head.

Sex isn't embarrassing. IT ISN'T. And when you think you've found a way that it is... is STILL isn't. Look again.

Meanwhile, your love for someone should not be used against you, not even by your own heart. I know you want to reconcile with him, but you can't do that since you can't trust him, right? Apparently, privacy is critical to you and now you know it's NOT critical for him. That's good information to have.

If you reconcile with him, you will be deciding that privacy is not such a big deal for you anymore. If that's true, great. If it's not... then you're lying now, to him and to you.

[cissy0801]

I think you should just talk to him about it. If he really loves you, I think he will break the habit :)

[eiba]

I hope that you already read my past post regarding my boyfriend.
We've reconciled! Yah! I saw his sincerity when he apologize. It helps us making some changes that I really admire, he's sweeter than before, he always visit me in are house having lunch with my family and a lot more. But after a few months, here we are again facing a new problem. I can't understand him anymore! I give everything.. I sacrifice! I know my mother don't like him even my brother and sister. But then Im still choosing him to be my future husband! I know and I believe that my mother wants me to look for someone else but I always fight for him. In spite of the fact that I give everything, I feel that he is still not contented and being so demanding.. he wants me to do this and that even if he is not doing the same thing for me. From the past months he is always hot headed that result for an evryday and night argumentation.. What hurts me most is his attitude right now... Yes!Today!His been doing this for 3days! He's gone! Not texting me... I don't know how can I see him now,even a piece of him. I want to talk to him but I cant. I call him but his not answering. He may take up the phone but won't speak. It hurts! Really Hurt! I don't know if I must give up! Our relationship is not working anymore. I Love Him! But Im tired.:(:(:(

[neverme]

Oh god.. open your eyes this is not working!

This may be harsh but it's true. You guys didn't truly deal with your issues last time and now they've come up again. I don't think this relationship can work. Walk away and learn to be strong BY yourself FOR yourself.

[kctiger]

You cannot be afraid to let go of someone, especially when it clearly isn't working. Sometimes, your mother knows best, and it appears so in this situation.

Time to move on, and find happiness, which isn't to be found with him. Getting back together usually does NOT work out, prime example right here.

[talaniman]

If your tired, then give this up. He won't change but you can, by leaving him alone. Once you break all contact (especially the sex) you can heal, regroup, and move on. It really is hard, but time will help, if you start now and stay away from him. He doesn't sound like a very mature caring fellow in any of your posts. Let him go.

[Romefalls19]

I've heard the age old expression, why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free? You are giving him everything yet he is doing nothing in return. Perhaps the relationship has run it's course and you two are just not meant to be. Everyone else can see it, it's time to open your eyes. Mothers are especially great eye openers and judges of character, now is the time to listen to your mom's opinion on him.