[LUK3Y]

Girl I am seeing... HELP

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Guys,

I have been seeing this girl for nearly 3 months now and all has been going well. From the start I kept my own life, made sure to see her no more than 2-3 times a week(as much as she would beg to see me) remained in control, confident and a challenge. She even admitted several times how I have her under the thumb. She was always pushing for a relationship and I laid it down to her that this seeing period is getting 2 know each other to see how we go. By this time I also mentioned my boundaries as she did hers. All was sweet... a little to good to be true which did scare me I might add.

Until about 3 weeks ago she mentioned how her "uncle" said she is not ready for a relationship as she will only hurt whoever she gets into one with. She said she was confused and that she was not sure. Instantly I said "Well maybe we should stop seeing eachother" (When we first got 2 know each other I told her if you cross one of my boundaries, or we go on a break I don't look back) What does she do? Starts having an anxiety attack in my car LOL. That changed her mind real quick and I thaught it was a simple **** test I had passsed.

Anyway fast forward up to now, she recently got her drivers license and hardly initiates to meet up anymore. She was always the one chasing saying I miss you when will I see you next? Now what she does is message me good morning, message me goodnight, and maybe throw in a phone call during the day.
She mentioned how she feels bad and that she is not treating me how I deserve to be treated... and how she is enjoying being free since she can drive where she wants now but also misses me when I'm not around.
She even said that if we were 2 go on a break from seeing each other it would be like a break up.

I understand what is going on but my question is which option should I take
Sidenote: she has even started to withdraw sex and han out with guy mates recently, at the start she never did this. She even withdrew sex recently saying she was seeing if I was genuine or not.

She does know this is all pissing me off as she treases me about it saying "haha now i have as much freedom as you" or
"dont you just hate it how i can drive where i like now"

At the moment she feels things are good between us, I think she is taking this a lot light hearted more than what I am(I know I'm carrying on like the ***** of the 2)

My frame was always non reactive and I plan on keeping it that way

So my options are;
1. Confront her tonight and tell her to pull up on this stuff or I am walking.

2. Just tell her how I feel about this all and that I am walking and not here to be sitting around, and if she is real she will come back anyway.

3. Try to initaite meeting up with her (maybe she is testing 2 see how much I will chase now she thinks she has power)?

4. Let it go for now, let her keep contacting me and slowly give her less and be less unavailable in terms off not replying to all her messages or answereing all of her calls. (Maybe she will realise I'm not there for her to put her feet up on from this)
Please guys proper advice is appreciated, my head is so tangled I can't think straight on this for some fvking reason, thanks.

[talaniman]

What's good for the goose doesn't feel so good to the gander, eh?

If she is worth chasing you chase, but if her taking back control pisses you off, why even bother?

[Jasmin88]

Hi, what do you feel about this girl? Do you really care for her? Think about how you feel about her.

Hoenslty if you both are for real, why all these bounderies? I think is makes things worse. Why not care for each others but still be yourselves, respect each other?

I think you must sit with a in quiet place and have a good talk about how you feel about all these things. Don't let her answer with emotionas but make her talk hoenslty and truthfully. That is what matters in the long run.

[Yosomoton213]

I would let this one go. Power plays, while they do exist in relationships, ruin them for good. Find someone you can just be yourself around. This one seems like you need to strategize all the time, which makes it all no fun in my opinion. Date a girl who is more "easy"... but not that kind of easy.

[neverme]

You began this as a power play and that really isn't fair on the girl.

You really come across as a bit of an a** here, you laughing at her anxiety attack?

I think you deserve what you are getting to be honest, why don't you put yourself in her shoes and see what action you would want and do that.