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mred · Jan 25, 2009, 08:49 AM

Hi, Im a 28 year old girl who recently met a male colleague 5 years older. He wasn't really my type until my other colleagues began teasing us at work because we seem to be getting really close to each other. We sit next to each other and are really enjoying each other's company. I find myself lately getting attracted to him but the big problem is - he has a girlfriend of 3 years. One time we went out alone and talked about our lives. I could tell that he liked me too. I would ask him about his girlfriend and he would confess that he still goes out with his girlfriend. He knows Im free at the moment and I know in my heart that I could easily fall prey to the special attention that he's giving me. I really like this guy, he's so mature, affectionate, and caring. He asked me to send him sms through a special fone number that's exclusive to us because his girlfriend has access to the fone that he usually uses. I can't believe I would let myself act like a mistress having a secret affair with him. We're enjoying each other a lot. How do I tell if he's really interested in me? I know he has a girlfriend but I don't think he loves his girlfriend that much. Should I continue with our affair? Its somehow interfering with work because he's seated next to me and gets to talk with me everyday.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 25, 2009, 09:59 AM

Is he living with the girlfriend, or just dating the girl.

A "special" phone, he either went out and got one, or he has one just to use for girls when he cheats

lawanwadee · Jan 25, 2009, 10:35 AM

This is not wise and not right...
Cheaters are always cheaters...

Laney0104 · Jan 25, 2009, 10:52 AM

Hi,

I think you should wake up and smell the coffee here. This guy spells trouble. Don't be fooled by how he makes you feel. This guy is in a three year relationship and is attempting to blow it on someone he hardly knows. No offence! What does this show about his personality? You are leaving yourself open to hurt here missy!!
There are plenty of guys out there sweet ones that are unattached that would jump at the chance to make you happy. Maybe it's the trill of wanting what you can't have I think maybe? How would you feel being this other women. It could be you in a few years time with this guy if you let it go further.

You are showing this guy you have lack of standards of you allow him to treat his girlfriend like this. If he cared for you at all he wouldn't be in a relationship
My advice MOVE ON GIRL!!

Poseidon934 · Jan 26, 2009, 02:10 AM

It's really hard to turn down someone when your heart tells you you want him but your head knows you shouldn't.

This guy is pumping you full of positive emotions that are messing with your decision making. While it is a fun and exciting situation, you should probably avoid it as much as possible by not seeing this guy outside of work.

Don't tempt yourself.

If he really is not happy in his relationship than he will eventually get out and then you can explore your feelings for him more deeply.

Don't be the other girl!

Aphrodite77 · Jan 28, 2009, 07:51 PM

The way I see it.. he's not married.. so he's single... just because a relationship has been dragging on forever doesn't mean it's a perfect one... so.. go powder your nose and charm him.. get him to like you for who you are and all that emotional stuff.. because you guys seem to have a connection... that means he's not looking for some mistress... so.. get him emotionally involved (however not physically) and then he might end up breaking up with his currect girlfriend oh so unconsciously during the next fight they have.. patience.. be friends for now.. don't demand anything.. just let it happen :)