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NewYork123 · Jan 22, 2009, 08:15 AM

I was just wondering if it is ever too late to turn a friend with benefits, into something more? If I stop and say that I thought I could handle just casually having sex, is it too late for him to take me seriously? But the thing is, I really do want to have sex with him, but I want him to respect me also-or do I? Any opinions?

Str8stack71 · Jan 22, 2009, 08:24 AM

Do either of you have other relationships going on?

Synnen · Jan 22, 2009, 08:24 AM

It's POSSIBLE to turn a FWB into a real relationship, but not probable.

FWB relationships generally come because one or both people do not WANT a commitment, which is what a "real" relationship would be.

There's also the issue that "just sex" is a lot easier (emotionally) for some people. You don't feel like you have to please the other person OUTSIDE of bed, and there's no guilt for having a guys night, or going out with the girls, or whatever. You have no obligation for family events, etc.

Basically, if you want something more with this guy from the get-go, then it's pretty silly to get into the FWB relationship, because there may be resentment on his part when you try to make it something more.

Choux · Jan 22, 2009, 10:32 AM

I read about an iteresting study published last year. It found out that 77% of men who date are looking for a wife. :) A serious relationship.

What a guy learns about a girl who has casual sex is that she is probably promiscuous. A good man doesn't want serious relationship with a promiscuous woman, do they?

All you can do is ask him. I don't think it will happen for you.

Live and learn... a good way to go through life... with the accent on learn.

Bet wishes to you, :)

smoothy · Jan 22, 2009, 12:57 PM

Point of view from a guys perspective here... your average single guy ( and a few married ones too) will sleep with any decent looking woman that will let him...

However he is far more discriminating about who he will be seen going out with on a regular basis.

Question here is if you both felt more for each other then why aren't you more than a booty call by now?

neverme · Jan 22, 2009, 01:06 PM

Very very unlikely to be honest.

Poseidon934 · Jan 26, 2009, 01:49 AM

Just be honest with yourself and what you want. If you think you may want more than pick his brain a little bit. Ask him if he has ever thought about being more than friends with benefits. If he seems uninterested than you know that he isn't. If you want more though, you should probably think about ending the benefit with him because you will not be able to give yourself to someone else if you are thinking and feeling for him.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 26, 2009, 08:49 AM

To be honest, you won't know till you tell him,

chrissymarie · Jan 26, 2009, 03:42 PM

My boyfriend started as my friends with benefits. So no I don't think it's ever too late.

I turned my friend with benefits into my friend and then my boyfriend. First I started to visit him a lot more than usual, then I stopped asking for sex every single visit (sometimes we just talked), and then I invited him out to the club and then some parties and then eventually a date. One thing lead to another and now we are a solid couple :)

You kind of have to start backwards since you 2 have already been intimate. Also now that the sex part is out of the way for both of you there has to be a real mutual interest split between you 2 in order to develop more of a relationship. Because it is going to take a lot of work. You both will have to want a relationship. Make sure he's open to that before pursuing him.

Junaid169 · Jan 29, 2009, 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by NewYork123

I was just wondering if it is ever too late to turn a friend with benefits, into something more? If i stop and say that i thought i could handle just casually having sex, is it too late for him to take me seriously? but the thing is, i really do want to have sex with him, but i want him to respect me also-or do i?? any opinions??

Its going to be really difficult. u'll have to test him... kinda make him want you.
If he has more Friends w/ Benefits than it doesn't look too good either.
I believe if you love him there is nothing wrong in letting him know but you have to be strong enough to take the rejection and be able to move on. I don't think there will be a turning back to FWB. It would be degrading yourself. He he'd be a jerk who don't deserve you anyway.

Not meant to be opinionated!

Good Luck.