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    Vinlay's Avatar
    Vinlay Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 18, 2009, 06:00 AM
    What has just happened.
    I have always been insecure with my boyfriend and I have never trusted him.. I am always arguing with him over silly things.. and getting on his nerves..!. I had a dream lastnight that I seen a picture of another girl on his mobile and stuff.. then he told me to get my stuff and leave his house.. not long after that he was talking to her on a laptop saying "i am sorry i never told you and that me and her have been together for ages, i don't even love vinlay i just put the ring on her finger for fun... it's you i love and i will always love , she is just one of those girls who come and go.. but i don't want you to go.!" then he started telling me I was ugly and fat and a and saying I looked like animals, he also said I looked as if I got hit up the head with a shovel. (at the moment me and my boyfriend are thinking about babies).. in my dream I seen her walking with him and she had baby bump.. (could this mean something?) he told me he had been cheating for a long time with this girl and he has never felt so good before in his life.. he also said she is cute and fit and sexy.. all I am is fat and lazy and I am nothing.. I am a nobody..

    I woke up to looking at him this morning and I literally cried my heartout on his shoulder and from that I have been getting on normall instead of all the sh1t I used to do.. could this mean something... is it giving me a sign to change or is it giving me a sign he is cheating. I'm so confused.. I feel though I need to trust him and stand by him which I have never felt before
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jan 18, 2009, 06:32 AM

    When you have insecurities it clouds you emotionally so that you can't see the forest through the trees, In other words you need to get over the insecurities so you can use good sound judgment to determine if he is cheating or not. As long as you are full of jealousy you can not go by facts. When you go accusing and nagging it only makes a cheater more secretive and often will push him into cheating if he isn't.

    Stop with your emotion and accusations and look at evidence.
    Ask yourself questions like...
    Are there red flags that make you feel he is cheating? Is he being secretive/lying? How is your relationship? Is your behavior making him standoffish?

    We can not tell if he is cheating or if it is your insecurities invading your dreams or warning you.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Jan 18, 2009, 08:15 PM

    Don't look for magic signs, girl. No one is sending you signs. :)

    The time has come for you to see that you have to take charge of yourself and stop the endless fantasy life which is turning you into a pile of mush.

    There is happiness and peace ahead of you in life... you just have to choose it. I would recommend that you get some guidance from a professional at this point.

    Best wishes to you, :)

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