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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #41

    Jan 21, 2009, 06:37 AM
    I can understand that, and do know how finances, and the frustration over them can cause a lot of stress in the family, and break up otherwise good relationships. It sucks, and times are tough.

    Apologize to your g/f, short, and simple, and move beyond this issue, as you have more important things to do than keep feeling guilty for your actions. Whether she forgives you or not, forgive yourself, and get busy with the important things in your life, that need to be done.

    Your not trying to change her mind, just repair your damage, and get back to building a life, with, or without her. Thats her choice. Let her deal with her own feelings.
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #42

    Jan 21, 2009, 09:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I can understand that, and do know how finances, and the frustration over them can cause a lot of stress in the family, and break up otherwise good relationships. It sucks, and times are tough.

    Apologize to your g/f, short, and simple, and move beyond this issue, as you have more important things to do than keep feeling guilty for your actions. Whether she forgives you or not, forgive yourself, and get busy with the important things in your life, that need to be done.

    Your not trying to change her mind, just repair your damage, and get back to building a life, with, or without her. Thats her choice. Let her deal with her own feelings.
    Your right Tal, but the hiding thing is still an issue with me. A few minutes ago I wrote her an e-mial asking why she feels she needs to do this. I'm waiting for her reply, which I'm sure won't take long. I didn't apologize though, I still need some answers yet from her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #43

    Jan 21, 2009, 09:44 AM

    Your making a mountain from nothing. The dynamic between her, and her family is not your business, and your not there, so why is it an issue?
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #44

    Jan 21, 2009, 09:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Your making a mountain from nothing. The dynamic between her, and her family is not your business, and your not there, so why is it an issue??
    I probably am, but I just don't understand why she couldn't discuss this with me before that night. Why not be honest about things. We are currently hashing it out via e-mail. As usual, she's avoiding the issues.
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #45

    Jan 22, 2009, 09:31 AM
    At the end of our e-mail conversation yesterday, I decided to let her go. I didn't apologize for leaving that night but explained why I did. There were many questions wanted answers to and some to lies she has told. The entire time she was saying all sorts of things to try and avoid the subject. There were a few brief times she would try to use flirting and love talk to get me off the subject. Throughout the entire process, I was really starting to realize how immature she is and how serious she isn't about this relationship. So therefore, my last e-mail to her stated some of these things and that we should date other people and be friends if she wants to. I haven't received anything back after that, so I'm good with that response also.
    zeeniee's Avatar
    zeeniee Posts: 341, Reputation: 63
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    #46

    Jan 23, 2009, 07:49 AM

    So what's the situation regarding the kids?
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #47

    Jan 23, 2009, 08:00 AM
    Hi zeeniee, well I get my kids as often as possible. As far as the baby with her, I can get him as much as I want. There's no games being played with them. Yesterday she has really tried to reel me back in with more excuses and how much she loves me kind of thing. I don't know what the deal is with her, I'm not falling for it. I have too much else to worry about that takes precidence over her and her ways. Good news though, I have an interview later on. So hopefully I'll be back to work soon.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #48

    Jan 23, 2009, 08:04 AM

    Good luck Nike!! You are a good man! I wish you the best!

    Carry on... :cool:
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #49

    Jan 23, 2009, 08:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Good luck Nike!!! You are a good man! I wish you the best!

    Carry on...:cool:
    Thank you!
    zeeniee's Avatar
    zeeniee Posts: 341, Reputation: 63
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    #50

    Jan 23, 2009, 08:15 AM

    Hey Nike,
    Good luck and hope it all works out well with the interview- a new beginning will help you get back on your feet in no time!
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #51

    Jan 23, 2009, 08:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by zeeniee View Post
    Hey Nike,
    Good luck and hope it all works out well with the interview- a new beginning will help you get back on your feet in no time!
    Thank you zeeniee, I really appreciate all of the suport I've received here.
    nike 1's Avatar
    nike 1 Posts: 167, Reputation: 16
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    #52

    Jan 24, 2009, 02:07 PM
    Update. It may be amussing. Funny how things happen.

    Yesterday, my girlfriend e-mailed me wanting to work out our relationship. She invited me to go out with her for my birthday. I said OK and we agreed that we just wanted to spend some time together without any drama. So we met up at a mid point driving distance, I left my truck there and we took her car. We went to the same bar as before and were havind a great time. We went to another and had even more of a great time. We discussed issues in a friendly way, getting drunk, and laughing and joking. Anyway, afterwards she said she wants to give me my present. So she drives us to Arcona Creek, a place we used to go and take walks. We got out and she starts undressing and so on and so forth. We started freezing though, it was pretty cold. So we tried to get dressed but couldn't find half of her clothes, it was very dark, and could not find her key ring. The ignition key was in the car, but the unlock remote was on her key ring. So she's half dressed, shivering, and crying. I'm desperately trying to find the key ring and the rest of her clothes, and holding her once in a while to try and keep her warm. I even tried starting a fire but everything was too damp and eventually ran out of matches. She finally says to bust out the rear side window. So I did and we left. I was heading back down to get to my truck, all the while she's crying and keeps asking how she's going to explain this to her parents. We stopped somewhere to talk about it and she asked me to go home with her to explain what happened. Remember, her parents didn't know we were still seeing each other. I wasn't really into the whole idea but seeing how upset she was and the fact we were in this together, I manned up to it. So we get there and her dad starts asking about the window and wasn't too happy I was with her. Both her parents were highly upset. But they wanted both of us to just get some sleep seeing we had both been drinking. So I ended up staying the night there. This morning we went to get her window blocked, went to a diner for breakfast and talked to each other about the whole situation. Needless to say her parents definitely know about us now in a big way. She agrees not to keep secrets anymore and will wear her ring. It's just so unexpected how this whole thing between us resolved itself due to unfortunate circumstances. I think we learned a lot about each other and are still both very much in love.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #53

    Jan 24, 2009, 02:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nike 1 View Post
    We got out and she starts undressing and so on and so forth. We started freezing though, it was pretty cold. So we tried to get dressed but couldn't find half of her clothes, it was very dark, and could not find her key ring. The ignition key was in the car, but the unlock remote was on her key ring. So she's half dressed, shivering, and crying. I'm desperately trying to find the key ring and the rest of her clothes, and holding her once in a while to try and keep her warm. I even tried starting a fire but everything was too damp and eventually ran out of matches. She finally says to bust out the rear side window. So I did and we left.


    This is why exactly motels were invented - :)

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