[aaron sinclair]

We had been dating for about 9 months. We loved each other despite the obstacles.The past few months though I have been having second thoughts because she is too young-she does stupid things when she drinks (she cheated once, and also is always trying to get acceptance from ex's)I tried to forgive her, but just couldn't trust her. Then she started to ask me about getting married and have kids. I told her that with our age difference that was nuts. Anyway, is this simply behavior of a 19 year old girl? With this age difference, am I just crazy to think it could ever work out?

[haze]

Im 20 years old and I dn't see a problem with the age difference, I have dated a few older men around your age with no problems.
But I don't think your realationship is going to work, she doesn't sound like she's very mature and has already betrayed your trust.
I say get out as fast as you can

[NItEMArE129]

Age really shouldn't be an issue, but it sounds like you guys have a deeper issue than that.

[Alty]

I agree that age shouldn't be an issue, but, what can you two possibly have in common, she's half your age, in a different place in her life, lacks maturity. This relationship is most likely not going to work because of the difference in outlooks and maturity.

[liz28]

This relationship has too many issues and I think deep down you know the answer to your questions and give many examples to support why it won't work. Think back to when you was 19, take a minute. Was you ready to be in committed, serious relationship?

[Lucy2012]

OMG that is werid!! Eww

[MarkwithaK]

OMG that is werid!!!! eww

Lucy it is NOT your place to judge.

[aaron sinclair]

This relationship has too many issues and I think deep down you know the answer to your questions and give many examples to support why it won't work. Think back to when you was 19, take a minute. Was you ready to be in committed, serious relationship?

I agree with you-I am not the one who wants the serious commitment. I just want to date and hang out with someone. She has the fantasy about marriage and kids. Thanks for you responses. Aaron

[complicatedlife]

She doesn't sound very mature by the things she has done, it seems like you are babysitting her...

[Fr_Chuck]

First age difference does not make or allow one to cheat, you cheat if you are not really committed to your partner.

But a 19 or 20 year old is going to want marriage, kids and a family. They are going to want all the things you may have already had.
** you did not say if you had a ex wife and kids.

But at 40, you will have to accept that a lot of people will ask you if she is your daughter.

It is not may place to judge, I have "dated" with that age difference but in the end, as you may be seeing, what you want and see happening in the future is just different from what she wants

[Alty]

It would be different if she was 40 and you were 60, the maturity level would be closer.

She's still a kid in many ways, and at 40 you aren't anymore.

[liz28]

I agree with you-I am not the one who wants the serious commitment. I just want to date and hang out with someone. She has the fantasy about marriage and kids. Thanks for you responses. Aaron

Then you might it clear to her about want you want. She wants kids and marriage while you want to just hang out. You two are on two separate pages, aside from the other issues, so maybe it's time for you should find someone else to hang out with instead of her.

[Footenmouth]

Aaron, asking the question as you did indicates you already knew the answer(s).

It's not a matter of 'age difference' or 'right or wrong' but perhaps a matter of growth and/or experience, but obviously allot of 'generational' differences.

People who are ready for 'marriage and children' don't cheat in the first 9 months. If ever.

I could say she obviously needs to grow up, relative to your comments. Perhaps you also need to grow up.

Both of you need to get real.. .

[Justwantfair]

My parents got together when my step-mother was 18 and my father was 38, they have been married for over twenty years.

That being said your issues are beyond age differences and you would be surprised as you age the age difference grows... now my step-mother is in her forties and my father retired and in his sixties, while they always work things out the diffence is greater now then when they were younger.

[friend4u178]

At 40 years of age I think your pretty well set in your ways and have learnt a lot of lifes lessons , at 19 she will change a lot in the next 4-5 years.

I don't have a problem with age differences but as Alty said it's a lot different at 40 and 60 compared to your ages.

The fact that she has already cheated on you is a HUGE Red Flag in my opinion.

[talaniman]

Let the poor kid grow up some, or you will have a disaster on your hands. Actually sounds like you already know that.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't see the age difference to be the problem. The "she does stupid things when she drinks" at ANY age would have me racing toward the door.

[hungtoronto]

I was with a 22 years old and I am 34. You got to have lots of patience (spoon feeding) and also she may not agree and understand your views. Very hard to communicate with. If you can't communicate then things will get boring and will fall apart doesn't matter how good the sex is or how good looking she is.

[Alty]

doesn't matter how good the sex is or how good looking she is.

Does it ever?

Good sex with a beautiful women that you have nothing in common with, well, that doesn't usually last long, unless that's alll that's important to you.

After the great sex and ogling her beautiful face, if you can't sit down and talk with her, share yourself, your hopes, your dreams, and everything else with her, well, all you have is great sex and a pretty face.

This too shall pass.

[liz28]

I guess you get what you get. What do you really expect to get from a 19 year old. That's a 21 age difference between the two of you. So you basically get what you ask for.