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kesisle · Jan 15, 2009, 03:50 PM

I narrowed my interest down to two men from an on-line dating service. One in IL and one in OH. Through e-mails and conversations I found out that they are friends. What are the chances of this happening?? I wrote both of them in one e-mail and explained our situation. I talk to the OH man on the phone. We shared a lot of who we are, what we enjoy and what we want in a relationship. IL man and myself have just been e-mailing. I have not met either of them and don't think it is fair to communicate with both because of their friendship. I would sooner walk away than get between them. IL man states that he wants to pursue me and won't tell his friend (OH man). I want to get to know each of these but I want to be honest in both relationships. I thought I would e-mail the IL man and state that I'm going to see my relationship through to a meeting with his friend (OH man). How would you write this to the IL man?

Emily36 · May 8, 2009, 08:47 AM

I would ask the IL man how he feels about it but you might loose his interest. I think it's a bit messy. It could mess up their friendship. Do you how close of friends they are? Something about it doesn't feel right to me.

N0help4u · May 8, 2009, 11:58 AM

First, the Il man says he would keep things a secret. Second, the Oh man you have set up a time to meet up with him. I think you should find out more about each one and decide which one is more compatible and not let their friendship bother you. The Il guy isn't bothered about meeting you so he shouldn't be upset with his friend meeting you.
I would just tell him 'an opportunity came up for me to meet the Oh guy. I am interested in meeting each of you before I decide where I should go from there.
Who knows, once you meet them you might know right off which one you feel more comfortable with.

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2009, 12:12 PM

Ok, chances of two men on dating sites from two seperage states knowing each other

I see a red flag the size of Texas, do you have any contract info on the one person beyond a email.

Any chance this could even be the same person playing games on a dating service.

Next online dating, no secrets, so you are talking to two men, it is OK to be talking to 12 and going out to meet 3 or 4 of them.

And there should be meetings before you move too serious in relationship

88sunflower · May 8, 2009, 12:38 PM

[QUOTE=kesisle;1487947] IL man states that he wants to pursue me and won't tell his friend (OH man).

Well if you do this your already starting a relationship with dishonesty. That's no way to start. Then if you do keep contact with the other your in a tangled mess of lies. What kind of man is he to want to lie to his friend?