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Exitexchange1 · Jan 15, 2009, 01:49 PM

I walked into the bathroom this morning, a caught my husband masturbating, but he doesn’t know it. I feel so weird inside, and we haven’t really talked that much today. Why am I having a hard time with this? It’s just natural right? We have had a little drought in our sex life. It’s been about 2 weeks, which is a record for us not having sex. I don’t want to tell him that I saw because I don’t want to embarrassed him. But I’ve been really distant from him today, and I think he knows something’s up. How do I get over this?

Synnen · Jan 15, 2009, 01:58 PM

You get over it by having an open, honest, and non-accusatory conversation with your husband about what you saw.

Xrayman · Jan 15, 2009, 02:51 PM

Discuss it with him. Be nice-it's natural (why don't you do it? And then, Join in! Sex is not just coitus/intercourse.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 15, 2009, 03:46 PM

It is natural, the only sad thing is he felt he had to go to the bath room instead of in bed with you watching or doing it for him

But most likely if he has been 3 or 4 days he was in there,

liz28 · Jan 15, 2009, 04:12 PM

I wished my fiancé would go to the bathroom sometimes because this is all he been doing since we can't have sex for 6 weeks because we had a baby.

I don't think you should be a big issue out of it because some guys do worst, they cheat instead of doing this. However, if this issue is weighting this much of your mind than talk to him about it along with why the two of you aren't having sex. I think your more upset about not having sex for the last two weeks than this and since you caught him doing this you know he's horny so your thinking why not have sex with me. Have you tried making the first move?

TexasParent · Jan 15, 2009, 07:32 PM

You know sometimes mastubation is simply a stress reliever, especially if it is a bathroom masturbation.

If my partner and I are having a stressful week and I don't think she's in the mood for whatever the cause; sometimes my sexual tension builds up and it needs a release and it is a quick escape from the stresses of the day.

I mean, you could have been in his fantasies doing this and that while he tries to quickly finish.

I don't always want to have sex with my wife and we even masturbate together, sometimes I don't have the time or the energy so a quick masturbation fits the bill.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, but he wouldn't have to hide from you if you were understanding and came to some agreement together.

Exitexchange1 · Jan 16, 2009, 02:47 PM

Well, my husband and I talked about it, and it's out in the open. I told him that if it makes him feel any better, I had a nice fantasy about him, and had a wonderful orgasm this morning. So my philosophy is, don't get mad, get even. And let's get it on together next time! :)

TexasParent · Jan 16, 2009, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by Exitexchange1

Well, my husband and I talked about it, and it’s out in the open. I told him that if it makes him feel any better, I had a nice fantasy about him, and had a wonderful orgasm this morning. So my philosophy is, don’t get mad, get even. And let’s get it on together next time! :)

I'm glad to see you worked it out in such a mature and erotic way; you are a great example of making a marriage work, please post more in these forums for people with similar experiences, your positive solution is an inspiration.

chrissymarie · Jan 16, 2009, 04:41 PM

Just tell him what you saw. Let him know you just have to get it off your chest cuase you've never seen him doing it before. The conversatin that follows should satisfy your curiosity.

TexasParent · Jan 16, 2009, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

Just tell him what you saw. let him know you just have to get it off your chest cuase you've never seen him doing it before. The conversatin that follows should satisfy your curiosity.

The OP already handled the solution herself quite successfully.

You would have know this if you had bothered to read any of the posts.

Choux · Jan 17, 2009, 03:18 PM

I would feel confident saying that all married men masturbate... it is as normal as urinating.

Just ignore it... don't spy on him ever going forward! :)

What you are doing is taking it personally that he is getting off.

Why don't you go out for dinner and have a conversation about how both of you can improve your sex life? No blaming, yelling or whatever in a public place. Just have a real fun and free wheeling conversation. Don't confuse "romantic" love with love... don't make sex the place to act out "romantic" love... that is a big mistake women make. Set yourself free. :)

Bes wishes girl, :)

Hippiefeet · Jan 17, 2009, 03:40 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

It is natural, the only sad thing is he felt he had to go to the bath room instead of in bed with you watching or doing it for him

I disagree, masturbation can be a private activity.
It is not sad. Like you said, "it is natural".
Why add more worries to this users issue?

TexasParent · Jan 17, 2009, 11:52 PM

Hey guys read the first page of the thread, she communicated with her husband and they worked it out successfully!

Choux · Jan 18, 2009, 03:19 PM

You read the stuff besides the question?? Lol just kidding. :)

Rachel005 · Jan 21, 2009, 10:22 PM

If this was me and I seen my boyfriend in the bathroom doing that id probley just laugh.
Me and him will be in bed and were both just comforatable for him to pull it out and just masturbate right there and I'm comforatable fingering myself in front of him its no big deal to do. Id just tell him he doesn't have to do it in the bathroom.

Exitexchange1 · Jan 22, 2009, 10:35 AM

We got it worked out- thank you. It actually gave us a huge boost to our sex life. We haven't been able to stay off each other. Thank you! ;D

virginiawife · Feb 7, 2009, 06:55 AM

I would love to catch my husband doing this! I know he does, but I have never seen it. If it were me I would have went over and finished it for him--one way or another. It is not a bad thing to do that. I pounce on every opportunity I can get, even after 22 years of marriage--because it does not happen as often as I would prefer!

smoothy · Feb 7, 2009, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

I would feel confident saying that all married men masturbate.....it is as normal as urinating.

Just ignore it....don't spy on him ever going forward! :)

What you are doing is taking it personally that he is getting off.

Why don't you go out for dinner and have a conversation about how both of you can improve your sex life?? No blaming, yelling or whatever in a public place. Just have a real fun and free wheeling conversation. Don't confuse "romantic" love with love...don't make sex the place to act out "romantic" love....that is a big mistake women make. Set yourself free. :)

Bes wishes girl, :)

Not all, many maybe... some definitely, but certainly not all.

I have no need to masturbate... wifes always ready anytime I have an urge and that's nearly every day, sometimes more than once a day. And that's even after 17 years of marriage

emmasmithxo · Feb 8, 2009, 05:26 AM

Its totally normal and natural for men and women to masturbate. To be honest I think the reason that he did it in the bathroom is because he didnt want to make you feel bad by doing it in front of you because you guys have had a baby and he didnt want to pressure you into having sex. Its his way of fulfilling his needs as everyone does, but the best thing to do is tell him that you saw it and then work from there and get back into a routine with your sex life.

Good luck!

<3

mzelmobeautyfiy · Aug 14, 2011, 02:38 PM

Well I know how you feel my boyfriend masterbates too. I don't know what to do or what to say sometimes I think he enjoys it more than have sex with me.