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brewer44 · Jan 15, 2009, 10:25 AM

So my girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Unfortunately we work together. The first 4 days we didn't talk at all to each other. I called her and left her a message asking for my stuff back. She called me back and we talked for 45 min about random things and not the breakup. A few days alter we ended up going to lunch together and hanging out the next day. I wasn't happy with the way things went when we hung out. So I told her that since she needed to be alone to figure her life out that it would be best if I weren’t in her life anymore. She didn’t say much other then “this is really hard because for the first time my whole heart was in it” When I am at work I put on a front like everything is going really good. I smile all the time and joke around with as many people as possible. I got a new haircut, starting working out again, and purchased two new suits that fit me better then my old ones. Yesterday at work I see her going to lunch with a guy that constantly hit on her while we were together. I know she was madly in love with me when we met. Less then a month ago she was telling everyone at work that I was the man of her dreams and she definitely knew I was the one. I’m really confused. Is she just trying to make me jealous and if so why? Is there a real possibility that I could have gotten dumped for this other guy?

kctiger · Jan 15, 2009, 11:17 AM

Who knows, and frankly it doesn't matter. She can do what she wants, as you two are broken up. I am not a mind reader, so I cannot tell you why she is going to lunch with another guy.

You are doing great at putting your life back together... as for her, it is her life and she can do what she wants. There are a thousand different answers to your question, but none of us on here could possible know the right one. Perhaps it was just lunch... maybe you are reading too much into it...

Live your life, and NEVER try and figure out a female's motives. It is wasted energy.

liz28 · Jan 15, 2009, 11:59 AM

Let go and move on. Does it really matter if she's trying to make you jealous or who she is having lunch with? It shouldn't because you have your own life to worry about and to live.

I know it might be hard working with someone after a break-up but it will only make you more stronger in the long and please in the future don't get involved with a co-worker.

Continue doing things for yourself that makes you happy and continue to go to work with a smile on your face and don't let your ex get to you because after all you don't need her.

Fizzy Burst · Jan 15, 2009, 12:18 PM

After 2 weeks of being broken up, you haven't had enough time to deal with everything that is going through your head. Chances are there is some confusion, hurt, a little anger, and a bunch of other emotions. You may have dealt with some of those emotions and feel like you are moving on by doing the things you are doing, but in all actuality you do still care for her. She may not be trying to make you jealous, but seeing an ex with someone else after a fresh break up is going to hurt. It's a swift kick to the balls that says it's really over. It hurts like hell too when you thought everything was going so great. Really work on dealing with the emotions that are running through you.

"Do not dwell on the past and get stuck in the why and how, because you can not change the past. Do not get stuck in the future in the maybes, what ifs, and someday, because you can not manipulate or predict the future. Instead, stay in the moment. The moment is all you have to live for. Be as happy as you can be in the moment that you are in. Accept that moments change in the blink of an eye. When that moment changes, it is the past and don't dwell in it, because it can not be changed".

SBohds · Jan 16, 2009, 02:28 PM

In my opinion,because you are seemingly doing well-even if you aren't inside she may be trying to make you jealous. First of all, she is going out with a guy who used to hit on her a lot-most women don't like this. However, he seems like the perfect candidate to use to make someone jealous. Also, if she was really trying to date I don't think she would do it right in front of you. You would have to be pretty calous to do that. The fact that you are giving her space leaves her wondering why it might be so easy for you to move on. It sucks that you work together-it must be hard to heal when they are always around.

450donn · Jan 16, 2009, 03:08 PM

You might consider finding a new job since this so obviously is causing you a lot of pain. That is the real bottom line problem dating someone you work with. When the relationship ends both parties see the other and are hurt. She wanted to end it for whatever reason, so accept and move on. Consider no dating for at least 6 months to help you get your head back on straight.

talaniman · Jan 17, 2009, 06:23 PM

Why does it have to be about you at all? Why can't she have a lunch date with whom ever she pleases without you sticking your nose in her business, and getting bent out of shape?

Sorry, but the harsh reality is its no longer your concern about her affairs, so stop letting your mind play tricks on you.

roxypox · Jan 17, 2009, 07:01 PM

Well you seem to be doing good on the whole: trying-to-put-your-life-together front! Which is good.

And to not hang out with her and to not be a part of her life, that was a good decision!

As for whom she has lunch with etc.. Well its non of your business any more, and you need to stop thinking about it.

Seeing as you work together, I can only imagine how hard it must be after being dumped! But you need to find some way of dealing with it... block her out.. or something else that's affective.

Your main concern is you and not her.

So go take care of you, because 2 weeks is not a long time to get your feelings straight and to work though what ever pain or negative emotions this has left within you, and to worry about her motives for that lunch or anything else for that matter, will just be fruitless and possible just create more pain and negative emotions. And that is the last thing you need... so keep working out, keep talking to ppl who are not her at work.

Lol when I find myself in a sore spot... I usually just think: everything passes... eventually this to will fade, you just need time.

PS: as for her telling people at your place of business that you were the man of her dreams, well I'm sad to say that sometimes people say things like that and mean it in the moment, but after a while they might just change their mind... people change (sorry for being a little blunt on this, and it might be hurtful to hear... but it is true, people change, and not that you changed, but she might have thought so and then... well had a change of heart, and she might have spoken a little prematurely)