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    kaelzz's Avatar
    kaelzz Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 14, 2009, 11:15 PM
    My boyfriend isn't into me physically or sexually anymore! Am I doing something wrong?
    So , Nicholas & I have been together for quite some time now... almost 4 years now , & he just seems so , un-interested in me!
    He used to involve me in a lot of things he did , he always made sure he was with me , we'd always have the greatest times together in AND out of the bedroom... but it's like he's a totally different person now! We never really fought before , & now were fighting almost everyday , I basically have to force him to have sex with me , unless we've both been drinking ( which is rare because he always gets sick )...
    It's getting really tiring , I'm exhausted from fighting so much , but I love him so much... if anyone could give me advice that would be great cause id like to save my relationship!!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    Jan 14, 2009, 11:47 PM

    Hi, kaelzz!

    Have you sat down with him to calmly discuss the situation? Also, what are some of the things that you fight with each other about, please?

    It would be helpful to have a little more background information here for those who come along to address your question.

    Thanks!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 15, 2009, 06:27 AM

    What does he say about all this? What has changed in the relationship? How old are you both?
    kaelzz's Avatar
    kaelzz Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Jan 15, 2009, 04:06 PM
    So , Nicholas & I have been together for quite some time now... almost 4 years now , & he just seems so , un-interested in me!
    He used to involve me in a lot of things he did , he always made sure he was with me , we'd always have the greatest times together in AND out of the bedroom... but it's like he's a totally different person now! We never really fought before , & now were fighting almost everyday , I basically have to force him to have sex with me , unless we've both been drinking ( which is rare because he always gets sick )...
    It's getting really tiring , I'm exhausted from fighting so much , but I love him so much... he picks fights with me about the littlest stupidest things possible!. I've sat down & told him how I feel & it still hasn't sunk in his head... I don't know what to do so someone please help mee!!
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #5

    Jan 15, 2009, 04:21 PM

    It could be a variety of things. One possibility is that the relationship has run its course and it's time to move on - he's no longer interested. If he regularly drinks to get drunk, his substance abuse (and drinking to get drunk is substance abuse, sorry to say) may be worse than he's let you in on... drinking and drugs can take the place of pretty much everything when it's serious. He could be seeing someone else, and he could be upset with you for one reason or another.

    Talk to him and if you don't get a believable straight answer, move on. For example, if he pretends like you are wigging out over nothing - that's not honest and you need to be done with him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jan 15, 2009, 11:05 PM

    Copying and pasting your original post has not answered any questions.
    SBohds's Avatar
    SBohds Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 16, 2009, 02:20 PM

    I am curious as to whether his behvior has changed in other areas of his life. Is he getting into arguments at work, family, etc? Is he disinterested in other things? The reason I ask is that he may be depressed. If not, the relationship could be in a rut. It is our tendency to fight rejection with neediness. The more he changes the more you want to fight for it. It helps to take an objective look at it. If he is not the man you fell in love with, then what do you want to stay for?

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