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Ditto1027 · Jan 14, 2009, 09:00 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. Just a few days ago he asked to talk to me and told me he just wants to be alone. He said he thinks I should see other people, but he just wants to be alone. He said he missed his life before us, but the whole time we've been dating he, and those close to him have mentioned that he has been happier with me then he has been in a really long time. He had started saying things like this every month, at the end of the month about 5 months ago. But we always talked about it and worked it out. I just don't understand it. The majority of our realtioonship has been amazing, it was more than I could have ever asked for. We never had any big eplosive fights (we did have small arguments about little, stupid things though obviously). I have never had any reason not to trust him, I know he's not cheating on me. He gave me a promise ring about 5 months ago and he's always been talking about our future and getting married and what not. I think part of his reason for wanting to be alone is that he's really afraid of being in a serious relationship with me maybe because his parents never were married. Also, he is beyond stressed right now with taking classes, studying for the GRE, and trying to prepare for the possibility of losing his job. So I've decided to give him the week with absolutely no contact to respect his wishes but it is killing me not talking to him.

Any advice on this confusing situation would be greatly appreciated.

southerngalps · Jan 14, 2009, 09:07 AM

It sounds like you have it together and are doing the right thing.

It will be hard, but keep your mind occupied. Hang out with friends and family.

It is probably stress and school. It seems that he is very into you. So wait out the week :)

Romefalls19 · Jan 14, 2009, 09:16 AM

You are doing everything the right way, he wants time and space to think and you are giving it to him. I can't really give you too much other advice than to keep it up.

This is new, their partner asked for time and space and the person actually gives it to them

Ditto1027 · Jan 14, 2009, 09:54 AM

Thanks for the support! I guess my only real fear is that he is SO stubborn he won't come around on his own. It's very nerve racking :(

talaniman · Jan 14, 2009, 10:27 AM

He had started saying things like this every month, at the end of the month about 5 months ago.

He gave me a promise ring about 5 months ago

Coincidence??

he's always been talking about our future and getting married and what not. I think part of his reason for wanting to be alone is that he's really afraid of being in a serious relationship with me maybe because his parents never were married

You have done well giving him what he asks for as hard as that is, but don't sit on your hands waiting, keep your life moving.

I think he is afraid of taking another step up, and actually doing what he has said... get married.

SimpleguyJoe · Jan 14, 2009, 12:38 PM

Well it seems like he has reached in his mind the point of where things either get very serious or he gets out. Looks like he took the latter. If you want to keep things moving maybe you need to talk to him and see his feeling about it and possibly have both of you take a step back and just go back to normal dating for awhile.