[clare]

I have just lost my grandson of 21 weeks gestation.I would value any advice on how to help my daughter.I can't think of anything to say that would make a diffference.She is just desolate,and so hurt.

[plagued]

There are many support groups for stillbirth and miscarriage on the internet. One of my favorites is www.emptycradles.com. You can read the stories of other parents who have lost their babies and see how they have coped with their loss, and communicate with them if you choose. There are many things you can do to remember your grandson and ease the grieving process. Give him a name and remember that you have lost a baby, not a fetus. If it would help, you could make a memorial for him. Many people plant trees in memory of their loved ones. You could make or purchase a plaque or gravestone to place in your yard or in a cemetery so you can have a special place to remember and honor your lost child. Most memorial sites include a section where you can post your angel's name and date for free. The above-mentioned site allows you to create a virtual star for a memorial honoring babies lost to stillbirth, miscarriage, and SIDS, at no cost. If any of these ideas may help, I encourage you to try them and to remember your little one. There is nothing you can say to relieve the pain your daughter is feeling but the fact that you are there for her and offer your support will help. I'm praying for you and your family and one sweet day you will meet your little grandson who is now in the care of our Lord.