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Wondergirl · Jan 30, 2009, 11:25 AM

Our resident library homeless guy just turned 70 and finally admitted he can't live on the street any longer. He applied for SS. That plus Medicare/Medicaid allows him to live on the independent floor of a nursing home where he is safe, has a clean bed, can take a shower every day, and can do his laundry. He's happier than a hog in heaven.

My widowed aunt-in-law lives in assisted living, can no longer live in her own or anyone's home because of serious medical issues (we kept her in her home as long as we could), doesn't want to mingle with other residents but shuts herself up in her room and claims no one talks to her. Nieces and nephews take turns visiting throughout the week, yet the aunt says no one in the family ever comes to see her. (She's now being treated for depression and early-stage dementia.)

I think most families explore all the possibilities -- keeping a loved one at home as long as possible, but because of health and mobility problems, must finally resort to finding an assisted care facility or a nursing home.

tickle · Jan 30, 2009, 11:36 AM

Not all residential homes are wheel chair accessible and affordability of having the home renovated for wheelchairs is beyond most people's means nowadays.

spoilsport · Sep 23, 2009, 01:29 AM

Another opinion:
Living away from home is hard enough , family not wanting to vist is also harder.. no amount of comforts can be enough if she misses her family. If have decided on keeping her there, you can send some thoughtful things or keep sending her some thoughtful things so she feels she is loved..
She might really be missing you all and want to be there with you.. who wouldn't? They do get cranky and needy but its just the feeling of not being loved that might get reflected in so many ways.. and that is entierly their mindset no one can change that.

I may not be practicle here bit I find it very hard to thik of old people sent to an old age home (inspite of all comforts)... would rather consider having them home , and also employing someone who will stay with them and take care of the little chores and try to have my life too..
They will complain and be needy but still it feels a lot good inside.