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texk09 · Jan 12, 2009, 08:26 AM

Okay I'm 16 and I'm dating a 19 year old. That is in the army. My parents have met him once and hate him. Right now he is deployed. My step-dad is treating when he comes home,and if he comes on "his" property that he will shoot him. And my mom says that she is going to jail. Can she really do that? Like we are very serious.
Help please.
If you have anything that can help me please do.

Str8stack71 · Jan 12, 2009, 08:30 AM

If the feeling is right, then its right... if its wrong, you might not realize it... make sure that you don't only follow your heart... but listen to your brain also... your heart can lead you to something wonderful... but it can also lead you to trouble... think about it all before you fall head over heels... you love him, your parents don't... somewhere in the middle you and your parents need to find common ground.

southerngalps · Jan 12, 2009, 09:56 AM

Your parents don't like him for a reason. You love him for a reason.

However, you should take things slow in the meantime until you are not under their roof anymore. Under their roof, you have to respect their rules. I KNOW IT SUCKS!

You are also underage and depending where you are, your relationship may be illegal. Which is why your parents may be concerned.

If he really loves you, he will wait until you are of age and you guys can be together.

Str8stack71 · Jan 12, 2009, 09:57 AM

I agree with southergal!

dontknownuthin · Jan 12, 2009, 01:26 PM

Your parents are right - you are too young for a man of 19 who is in the military. He could be held for charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and statutory rape if you have a physical relationship. He's deployed, so hold off for two years until you're 18 and see if the spark is still there. Hard, but men over 17 are off limits at your age.

ScottGem · Jan 12, 2009, 01:30 PM

I suspect that part of the attraction is your parents objections. Depending on where you live having a sexual relationship may be illegal. So mom may be right about him going to jail.

I agree with the others. Put a hold on this until you turn 18. If he really cares for you he will wait. If he doesn't wait, then he wasn't worth it.

Forever2b · Jan 12, 2009, 08:31 PM

16 and 19 is not that big of a deal age-wise.
You seem mature enough to know how to handle things properly, and I think parents can sometimes freak out a little at the thought of having their babies grow up. Your parents must have some sort of reasonable excuse as to why they dislike him, but if its for the simple fact that he is dating you, well that's just not fair. Maybe try and compromise with them, or talk to them clearly.

I do believe that if he loves you and wants to be with you, he will wait until you are of age, that you can make your own decisions. For now, as someone above said, you are under your parents roof, and as unfair as it may be, that's what you have to live with. Wait if you love him, because he'll wait if he loves you.

MarkwithaK · Jan 12, 2009, 08:41 PM

I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but I can would almost bet that this ends badly for you and neither of you may be at fault. Once his fellow servicemen find out he is dating an underage girl, well lets just say peer pressure can be a real SOB and he may find that it is just easier to break it off with you. In addition, from my understanding, the U.S. Military has a very strict code of morale conduct and him being involved with a girl your age could cause harm to his military career not to mention any criminal charges.

Forever2b · Jan 12, 2009, 08:47 PM

Do what's right for you and what will make you happy. All this age/law/criminal charges stuff... well what does it really matter if your 16&19... or 18 and 21? I see no difference. It depends on the two people, how real it is what they feel for each other, your maturtiy, so you know what... don't let people tell you its impossible because its not. Common cliché but there is no age for love. And if you love him, and he loves you, then you two will find a way to work things out, Even if you have to wait, it will work out. Don't worry

ScottGem · Jan 13, 2009, 01:56 AM

Originally Posted by Forever2b

Do whats right for you and what will make you happy. All this age/law/criminal charges stuff.... well what does it really matter if your 16&19... or 18 and 21? I see no difference. it depends on the two people, how real it is what they feel for eachother, your maturtiy, so you know what... don't let people tell you its impossible because its not. Common cliche but there is no age for love. and if you love him, and he loves you, then you two will find a way to work things out, Even if you have to wait, it will work out. Don't worry

YOU may see no difference, but the LAW does.

In addition, this has been discussed many times here. There IS a big difference between 16 and 19 and 18 and 21. A 16 yr old is less likely to be able to tell the difference between infatuation and the type of love that a life long relationship is built on. Your advice is extremely poor In my opinion. We have very little info to go on like how long they have been together and why the parents don't like him. Nor do I see any indications of inordinary maturity on the OP's part. Yet you are advising her to defy her parents. I suspect you yourself are a teen who is not in a good position to give advice in a matter like this.

liz28 · Jan 13, 2009, 07:04 AM

Forever2b, at 18 a person is consider to be an adult, therefore, they can date whoever they want. They can date, married a 40 year old if they want regardless of what their parents say. However a 16 year old can't.

The OP never stated what state she lives in so I don't know the age of consent but her parents are against this and that tells a lot. Also, as mention eariler, he could get in trouble with the army for his actions because they have a code of conduct.