[nasra]

How, can you persaude a person, that you know is mentally unstable to seek a counselor, even though they think they are fine.

[J_9]

Nasra, that question is pondered by every person that has a family member that is mentally ill. It is similar to alcoholism. They do not realize that they have a problem and until they do there is little we can do to help them until they are ready to seek help.

In my case I was able to send my family member to a GP for a physical and asked the doc when I made the appointment to discuss general anxiety disorder (GAD). The doc did discuss work, family and stress and was able to help this person realize that they needed help.

But until then all we can do is gently suggest without coming outright and saying they need help. This can only do more harm than good.

[CaptainForest]

I have a family member who has needed to see a shrink for years.

Everyone has told her.

However, she doesn't think there is anything wrong with her and has never gone.

Unfortunately, if they don't want to and they aren't a huge danger, it is very hard to “force” them.

[nasra]

Hi J 9,

This family member, doesn't go out, no job, doesn't socialize, doesn't go on holiday. Not married, not seeing any one no friends. It is a very sad life for them and I thought counseling would help them see life a bit differently.

[J_9]

Sounds like agoraphobia to me. I agree it will help them see life differently, it is worth a try to suggest, but don't be hurt if they think nothing is wrong and refuse to go. You can only subtly and gently suggest from then on.

[valinors_sorrow]

Adjusting to an illness is probably the single most reason that people don't seek help. They simply have accepted the life they get and to change becomes a battle against "better the illness (and life) I know than the health (and who knows what) that I don't know". I know this firsthand and its amazing what a huge roadblock that particular fear can have. It almost got me.

This is why people who are recovered or recovering from something are so powerfully effective to those who are similarly afflicted. And once we figure out a way to harness that better for the mentally ill, I think we'll make some definite impact.

If one-on-one therapy is too big of a step, then perhaps a group setting may be more possible. And in a group, there might be exposure to people who have managed some measure of success in overcoming the mental illness. I know for me, the first few encounters with a PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) recovery group made a profound impact on me-- never mind that they were all guys who were combat veterans, I felt like I was home and there really was hope.

Gentle invitations to try something like that, something concrete you found was available, with no strings attached... would be best, I think.