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ihearthisheart · Jan 9, 2009, 08:21 PM

I was recently put into foster care, but I will also be 18 very very soon. I need some assistance, ideas, with/on how to get back into the home I want to be in. My father, 36, is still residing with his parents, 72,72. My mother recently got a four bedroom home so that we could move in with her. I had a lot of problems with getting to school, and staying at school so I'm in foster care due to truancy. Im an awesome kid, I like to think that Im easy to tend to, and amazingly easy to give rules to follow. I started at a new school, too, and I have been busting my, excuse my language, but I have LITERALLY been busting my on my school work and getting to class on time. My foster parents told me today that there are people calling my caseworker and telling her that my mother doesn't give her children adequate supervision. Yes, my mother does go out sometimes, but Im almost 18, do I really need supervision? Seriously? I want to go home to my mom, my mom means the world to me. We might as well be sisters. My caseworkers say that my mother tries to be too much of a friend and not enough of a parent, again, Im almost 18, parenting wouldn't do me any good now any how, right? My father is far too much a dictator and not even close to a friend. Id much rather have a friend than a dictator! Please help me... please, I really think I need to go home to my mom, I need her. I love her more than anything in the world, I love my dad too but we don't have the talks my mom and I have... One more thing... the reason I missed so much school is because my mom was gone from 5 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon... yes unsupervised but give me a moment to explain... unlike my judge or attorney would. My mother was going to respiratory college hours away so she could get a job so that she could pay for my brother and my college education. No One wants to listen how do I make them hear these points that I'm trying to make.. HELP

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2009, 09:37 PM

Let me see, when you used to live with mom, bad grades, now good grades, so yes it appears you need supervision.

And a parent is not suppose to be a friend, they are suppose to be a parent, which means rules.

So it sounds like you are right where you need to be till you graduate

ihearthisheart · Jan 9, 2009, 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Let me see, when you used to live with mom, bad grades, now good grades, so yes it appears you need supervision.

And a parent is not suppose to be a friend, they are suppose to be a parent, which means rules.

So it sounds like you are right where you need to be till you graduate

I had good grades before straight A's, and I have rules, I have chores there as well. The only thing different is that my mom was a better friend than parent when it came to literal discipline

startover22 · Jan 10, 2009, 04:16 PM

How about just finishing school, get into a college? (when you are out of school, you are no longer a ward of the state) Remember being a minor, the judges and case workers do not share things with you if they feel it will not help you on your way to a better future. There seems to be more to this story than you may know.
It is in your best interest to be supervised till you get out of school. Your mom could have waited till you were done to get what she wanted to get done. That is the important issue at hand it seems. She needed to show that she understood that.
As far as needing a parent, you do... even after you become an adult, you need someone who is going to tell you the right way to go about things... (stuff your friends just don't and can't know) A lot of kids think its good to have a friend as a parent, but I bet your dad is trying to get you ready for real life. Some parents are way too lenient and make their kids lives way too comfortable. So when kids land in the real world after high school, everything goes down hill. Try and understand that just because you can't talk to your dad about the stuff you can with your mom, it does not mean you can't have a great relationship with him, it will just be a different relationship from the easy going one you have with your mom.;)

You just keep on going like you are, you are doing great in school, and after you graduate, you can see your mom anytime you want. Call her and talk to her about things instead. Try and see the brighter side to this picture, OK? Hugs sweetheart, you sound like a smart and nice kid!

cordelia0507 · Feb 14, 2009, 03:02 PM

I really feel for you and I hope you will find the strength to study and prepare yourself for what's ahead after you finish school.

I have been in your situation myself throughout my teenage years. It was HARD and PAINFUL a lot of the time. No doubt you feel the same way. But you will become much stronger for the experience.

I agree with the previous posters. Stay where you are, you may not know the full story... Things are working well, so just hang in there. Your mother loves you and will never stop loving you. But her home is not the best place for you right now.

You need to be in the place that will best prepare you for the future so you can grow up to become a strong, confident, smart woman!

N0help4u · Feb 15, 2009, 01:24 PM

I have been a parent of two of my kids taken off me and kept off my by lies by the Child protective services. I can say that we want things right away and everything to be all good, but sometimes all we can do is wait as Startover said. I agree it sounds unreasonable how they are doing you, but life is unfair, especially this court system. They will keep making excuses to keep you at the foster parents.