Hi Flower81,
I think J 9's answer is outstanding. I think it really does depend on emotional maturity, as well as other factors. Though I do feel there are certain, relatively universal guidelines. 12 years old is agreeably, absolutely too young to even begin thinking about such. Personally, I don't much agree with people engaging in sex before about 16 years of age, primarily based on statistically average brain development, and the likelihood of later regretting an impulsively made decision.
As well, you should never feel you have to conform to the demands of any one person, or pressure from a peer group. Sex has always been more of a sacred act to me. I don't generally seek to be that intimate with someone, of whom I do not share at least, a very deep spiritual or energetic connection. Thus, I did not have sex myself for the first time, until I was 29 years old. :eek: :) Yes, my friends still consider me to be something of a freak to this day. But these are also typically the friends who have three children now in foster care, by two different mothers, neither of which they have contact with.
If you truly feel ready, informed, and able to accept any possible consequences -- as long as you feel deeply connected to the person, it is probably primarily your decision. It is possible to be very physically intimate with someone, in a truly gratifying manner, without engaging in actual sexual intercourse. Perhaps even more so, in many instances. And this may sound strange coming from a guy, but ultimate pleasure does reside in the mind and heart.
Just remember, there is only one first time for everything. Let it be a good experience. :)
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