[ss_aa_rr_aa]

Hi my problem is that my boyfriend used to find my attractive.. he used to love me and care about me and no matter wt I will do he used to forgive me and think positively about me.. now he doesn't is their any thing wrong I did? We live in arab country so relation ships between men and woman are not proved between our parents.. but me and my boyfriend for the last 4 years we connect by the mobile phone.. we talk for hours.. we love each other.. we had expressed our love by making love too.. we had been to different hotel rooms over the last 4 years.. the last time we went it was last week.. but ever since we got back from that day until now nothing has been the same.. nothingggg! It's killing me.. he thinks there is no problem.. sexually I did every thing he wants me to do with him& I want to do too.. we hugged each other for 5 hours and kissed and all the romantic stuff.. but from the moment we got back to our normal lives he hates me I can feel it! What did I do wrong.. please help...

[MiSSsy111222]

I'm sorry that he is acting like this. The best thing u can do is try and find out how he is feeling? What country are u in? I'm guessing u are a muslim?

[ss_aa_rr_aa]

Hey Misssy111222.. thanks for the replay.. I am from Jordan and sure yes I am a muslim.. I know he loves me so much but since the min. we left the hotel room he gave me up so fast and easy I mean he was in to me and hugging me for 5 hours but the min. it all finished he didn't care even to say good bye in the right way he just had me driven me to any taxi and just went and for two days didn't care to call me.. do guys do that? I mean not any guys.. but really guys in love do that? Or is it maybe because I had done every thing he wanted and dreamed and now it was don't his ego and selfishness came to his head?

[Clough]

Hi,

What do you mean by, "he thinks there is no problem", please?

Thanks!

[talaniman]

No guys in love don't do that.

[MiSSsy111222]

OK the best thing u can do is talk, find out what is on his mind. Maybe he is just having a tough time with something. Men can be like this. Can I ask is there marriage in the future for you 2? Salam

[is this right]

As a guy (and religion, nationality etc to one side) we are all the same.

If he was that keen on you when you were together, and then seemed to stand off, it is unlikely to be anything you have done. And I would go as far as to say that it is unlikely to be a major issue; unless you make it one.

The best thing you can do is to stand back for a couple days. MAybe tell him that you think he has been a little 'funny since the last time you met, and that you are going to give him a bit of room. If he wants to talk to you about anything then you are there for him.

Leave it at that and then give him a couple days to sort out what is going on.

It might be something going on in his life that is totally unrelated to the two of you, it might be that everything is so good between the two of you that he doesn't know what to do about it.

Guys are not always good at expressing their true feelings, as if they do, they expose themselves, and believe it makes them vulnerable.

I have read the advice above, and only partly agree with it. While you need to know what is going on, and what is wrong I think before confronting him give him a bit of room to do some thinking. It will be difficult for you, or anyone to do, as you are/were on a high relationship wise and now it feels like the rug has been pulled from under your feet.

Let him know you are there for him, and then give him a bit of room to sort stuff out.

Good luck.

[ss_aa_rr_aa]

Hi all thanks for all the help.. clough I meant by wt I said is that he thinks it's nothing the fact the he stopped caring about me it doesn't bother him at all.. it's killing me.. I don't sleep at night.. and when I talk to him.. it's nothing important to him.. my problem.. the fact that he stopped caring! All of that means nothing but a WHAT EVER to him!. any way thank you guys for giving me some answers.. I think will do what you told me to do (in this right).. I think he just want some room for his independency.. maybe I was not good enough for him.. maybe as you said as a guy he didn't know how to express himself after all the GREAT time w spend.. maybe he needs time to think about what we did.. after all we have been talking over the phone for 2 years about that night.. maybe when it did happened he just didn't know what will come next! But why can't he just enjoy what happened why does he have to think for what will come next.. is this a sign to show that he actually truly loves me and maybe this kind of relation is bothering him? And he wants a real thing going on not just a conversation over the phone? Is this what he has been hiding ever since we got back from that day.. I mean he told me in the past so many times he loves me and he will never hurt me and even if I get married to other guy we still will be talking together and even a couple of days earlier I talked to him and he promised me the same thing.. he said that we will always be together no matter what! Is that what's really going on? Is that fact that he is afraid of having me as a lover but only that? I mean was I too good for him.. is that how he might have felt after doing every thing great and hugging each other for too many hours.. and now he thinks he can't take it any more.. or be with me.. or make me happy or.. I mean.. do guys who feel really and truly in love with some girls feel afraid of them? Because of all the commitment and stuff? Thank you guys for all the help

[talaniman]

Since you don't know what he is thinking why assume he didn't enjoy it or doesn't care. Granted maybe he should have called, but assuming, and presuming, will get you nowhere. You haven't called him either so neither of you know what's on the mind of the other for sure.

[MiSSsy111222]

Was this the first time you made love? I'm abit confused about this. And it is not YOU, don't question yourself about his behaviour. If he is not willing to talk to you about his problems, its not your fault. I am kind of in this situation, well it's a long story, one thing I have learned is not to analyse everything. Your time will come when you get the answer for what you want to know.

[ss_aa_rr_aa]

Hey misssy111222.. no it's our 4th time.. yesterday we spoke.. and I found out.. men are so strange.. I even read it some one on the internet or in a book.. that men are so not like women.. they hunt. And as soon as they get what they have been wanting too much they just move on.. and want some more things.. other different things.. they are so strange.. I think after talking to him and discussing all the things.. I found out this fact! And I don't like it! It's like one day he is my soul mate and the man we share every thing together.. and the next day he is some stranger that I donno how he feels about things or thinks about things.. it's like our relation has to start all over again from the beginning! I noticed that about my boyfriend during many times over the years.. now I figured.. I just should give him time to think about things.. things that have nothing to do with me.. and I will live my life as normal as I can with out his so existing last a month ago! And then I will win his heart back as soon as I feel he needs my love.. anyway.. thank you all for the answers.. really helped ;) thanks

[MiSSsy111222]

I could have told you that men are strange. Same thing happened to me... he had me then he changed his mind in the space of a month... trying to remind him of how much I loved him etc did not work. He just moved on. I found out what he is really like, and being in a relationship with him now means nothing, he does not care, I don't think he ever did. We are both muslims awell so now I feel stuck as I'm not a virgin anymore.. what a waste. Anyway good luck with him. X

[ss_aa_rr_aa]

Sorry to hear that.. I donno each relation is different from other. My boyfriend after the big fight we had last night.. he is in to me more.. sometimes I make him feel like he has to take care of me because I let him all the time know if you don't do it.. some one else can! But I say it in a nice way.. so I guess it's a matter if love. I mean if he really doesn't love me he would probably didn't care but I guess he does. Sorry to hear about your ex. But don't worry time can heal a lot of things.. and with time you can meet the man of your dreams and u'll be the girl of his dreams as well :) tc