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    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #1

    Jan 8, 2009, 03:16 AM
    At what age can my daughter decide to live wit me
    Hi I have a 6 year old daughter at the moment she lives with her mother. I have a contact order at present were I keep her 3 weekends out of 4 at what age can my daughter decide who she wants to live with.
    Regards, Gary
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jan 8, 2009, 05:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by manumercer View Post
    Hi i have a 6 year old daughter at the moment she lives with her mother. I have a contact order at present were i keep her 3 weekends out of 4 at what age can my daughter decide who she wants to live with.
    Reguards, Gary


    What State? In "most" States the Court will hear her at age 12 but will not necessarily place custody according to her wishes.

    Custody will be placed in the best interest of the child and Courts are concerned about minor children easily being swayed by the fewest rules, the most "toys."

    This is also a legal question and I have asked that it be moved to that board.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #3

    Jan 8, 2009, 09:31 AM

    What's the state?

    Often the child can decide on their own free will as early as 12 and sometimes at 16

    The court may award custody to a parent which is often the mother

    The court only wants the best for the child and at age 6 they're worried they may be swayed by ice cream
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jan 8, 2009, 09:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbucks21 View Post
    What's the state?

    Often the child can decide on their own free will as early as 12 and sometimes at 16

    The court may award custody to a parent which is often the mother

    The court only wants the best for the child and at age 6 they're worried they may be swayed by ice cream


    Trust me - this is not info the OP wants to hear or is willing to accept. Again - trust me on this one.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #5

    Jan 8, 2009, 09:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Trust me - this is not info the OP wants to hear or is willing to accept. Again - trust me on this one.
    Sadly I know =(

    The only way the father can get custody at this point would be a long drawn out custody battle and to prove the mother is unfit
    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Jan 8, 2009, 11:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbucks21 View Post
    What's the state?

    Often the child can decide on their own free will as early as 12 and sometimes at 16

    The court may award custody to a parent which is often the mother

    The court only wants the best for the child and at age 6 they're worried they may be swayed by ice cream
    If only my ex is doing everything in her powerto torture my daughter she isn't mentaly capable of looking after her I'm there to pick up the pieces I'm the one who raised her for 5 years cause she couldn't even feed her my daughter cries every wkend she has to go back and begs me to let her stay you can never buy a child's love with imaterial things a parents love and protection is what they need some mothers believe it or not are unfit to raise kids but are still taken by the hand
    Gary.
    topladyj's Avatar
    topladyj Posts: 323, Reputation: 13
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    #7

    Jan 8, 2009, 11:55 AM

    It should be at age 12 I thought in every state.
    WikiAnswers - Can a 12-year-old decide which parent they want to live with
    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #8

    Jan 8, 2009, 11:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbucks21 View Post
    What's the state?

    Often the child can decide on their own free will as early as 12 and sometimes at 16

    The court may award custody to a parent which is often the mother

    The court only wants the best for the child and at age 6 they're worried they may be swayed by ice cream
    Sorry I forgot to say I'm from northern ireland
    Gary.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #9

    Jan 8, 2009, 12:13 PM

    Northern Ireland does make a huge difference lol

    Are you talking about a "vote of feet"?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Jan 8, 2009, 12:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by topladyj View Post


    You are quoting another free advice/opinon board, not a legal source.

    The amusing thing about this is that I actually posted on that board about 2 years ago, fairly frequently, and people have posted here, quoting ME! It's an advice board, not a legal source.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #11

    Jan 8, 2009, 12:52 PM

    I believe a child can chose aka "vote of feet" when the judge can declare the child has understanding of the situation... from what I read it's around the age of 16. There isn't a exact age.

    Sadly six is too young for any judge.
    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #12

    Jan 8, 2009, 01:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Starbucks21 View Post
    Northern Ireland does make a huge difference lol

    Are you talking about a "vote of feet"?
    In what way does it make a difference
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #13

    Jan 8, 2009, 01:31 PM

    The laws are slightly different from the ones in the united states.
    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #14

    Jan 8, 2009, 01:50 PM

    I do know the ss can speak to her and speak for her in court the sad thing is her mother doesn't even want herbut is using her to get to me
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #15

    Jan 8, 2009, 01:52 PM

    Those situations always stink

    Maybe eventually the anger will subside and the mother and you can go back to court and have custody awarded to you but sadly for now I don't think there is anything you can do
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    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #16

    Jan 8, 2009, 02:02 PM

    I know its just so worrying that she's not safe with herher health is starting to suffer ss says they will keep an eye on her but I see a change in her each time you can even see the fear in her wee eyes when I take her back.
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #17

    Jan 8, 2009, 02:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by manumercer View Post
    i know its just so worrying that shes not safe with herher health is starting to suffer ss says they will keep an eye on her but i see a change in her each time you can even see the fear in her wee eyes when i take her back.
    Well she does have a lot to fear. I'm pretty sure this is fairly new to her. I'm pretty sure right now you just have to trust ss will do it's job
    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #18

    Jan 8, 2009, 02:19 PM

    Ss can be very laid back here and always try and keep mother and child together I've seen that myself with friends my barrister says just to sit back and my ex will hang herself if we give her enough rope
    Starbucks21's Avatar
    Starbucks21 Posts: 282, Reputation: 23
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    #19

    Jan 8, 2009, 02:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by manumercer View Post
    ss can be very laid back here and always try and keep mother and child together ive seen that myself with friends my barrister says just to sit back and my ex will hang herself if we give her enough rope
    While I hope you don't mean literally but that pretty much is true with anything. I think if she really didn't want to have custody of the child you may find yourself with custody in a few years.
    manumercer's Avatar
    manumercer Posts: 9, Reputation: 0
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    #20

    Jan 8, 2009, 02:29 PM

    That's just an old saying over here she just wants to use her as a weapon against me now I'm in a new relationship with someone she knows and has a daughter the same age who my daughter loves to bits she is what a mother should be always puts the kids first no matter what

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