[Fab1987]

Even though you are sexually satisfied by your partner do you imagine sleeping with another man and if so, why don't you act on it even if it means breaking up with your current lover?

[chrissymarie]

Think about things this way. Lots of people day dream. I used to day dream some mornings on my way to work on San fran that I was on my way to the beach or the mall but every morning I'd end up in the same place... work. Why didn't I just act upon my urges to go to the beach or the mall... because I needed and cherished my job. It wasn't like when I got to work I broke down and started sobbing every morning.

Sex can be sort of the same way. I have fantasized about sleeping with another man but those are just sexual curiousitys. I believe they are natural. But imaging it and acting on it are way different. If I truly loved and respected my partner I'd never break things off just to sleep with someone else.

A little imagination and roleplay are good ways to keep your sex life alive.

On the other hand if a woman is imagining her ex lover and saying his name during sex... that's a whole other issue.

[Fab1987]

Thank you, that's a good way of looking at it.

[ang8318]

I have been married for 3 1/2 years. I have never imagined being with another man. I guess that my husband takes such good care of me, and my needs, that the thought of being with someone else doesn't even cross my mind. I am an old fashioned kind of girl though, so that may have something to do with it.

[Fab1987]

Good for you Ang! I hope he always keeps such good care of you.

How long were you together before marriage may I ask?

Speaking from experience, make sure the communication on that subject remains strong because when my girlfriend and I were a the 3 year stage we kept good care of each other too. It was only in years 7 and 8 that we both got lazy and unforuntately didn't communicate enough about it. If we had, we'd probably still be together.

I also wonder how many lovers you had before your current husband. My girlfriend had none before me and I only a couple. Maybe that's where the curiosity came from on her part.

[ang8318]

We dated for four years before we got married, so we have been together for 7 1/2 years now. Prior to meeting my husband I only had one other relationship, which lasted 2 1/2 years. If I were you, I would not really worry as long as she is not acting on it. I mean there has to be a reason why she picked you to be with and not someone else. Unless she is thinking of acting on it, or is acting on it, I really would not worry.

[Choux]

I think fidelity only applies to a husband... otherwise, a woman has to find the man best man for her, and that includes personality, finance, compatibility and so on.

[Mommy102808]

Fantasy is not the reason a relationship will be broken its acting on that fantasy that causes the trouble. Men and women fantasize about different people it's normal.

[chocodrip]

My husband is a fantastic lover, we've been married for two years but were together before that for four. I sometimes imagine myself hugging Rupert grint from the harry potter series and that's it. But then reality is much more beautiful than fantasy.

[simoneaugie]

I think emotional acceptance is a huge factor. For instance, if I tell a man how I feel about sex or anything else, acceptance from him that my feelings are okay, valid, is paramount. He doesn't need to agree with me. He had better not try to "fix"me. If he tells me not to feel that way he is tampering with my reality.

The tampering and manipulation and attempts to change my feelings to something he is more comfortable with cause me to shut him out. When the partner is placed behind a wall of protecting myself, something else begins to fill the space. First it is fantasy, of a man who accepts me for who I am. This fantasy may become a real person, whether sex with the interloper occurs or not.