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1954 · Jan 4, 2009, 10:27 PM

Husband and I separated and he now lives in neighboring state. As part of our divorce, will judge make me drive half-way for his visitation with children? He chose to leave state for work. Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

Thank you.

JudyKayTee · Jan 5, 2009, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by 1954

Husband and I separated and he now lives in neighboring state. As part of our divorce, will judge make me drive half-way for his visitation with children? He chose to leave state for work. Is there anything I can do to prevent this?

Thank you.

I've seen this decided in all directions - you each drive half way. He drives the whole way. You drive the whole way. It's one quarter and three quarters.

"Usually" the party who moves is responsible for the extra driving - but that's just "usually."

When you go to the hearing make your thoughts on this issue clear. I've seen Judges grant longer vacation visits when the "during the week" and "weekend" visits are made difficult by the distance.

dontknownuthin · Jan 5, 2009, 11:32 PM

It varies based on what you work out with him. Figure out what you think is fair and try to work it out with him directly. Otherwise, the lawyers get rich and you both loose. Most judges will try to stick you into mediation anyway so you're far better off if you both try in good concience to work it out together.

Perhaps you are willing to drive half way with lesser frequency than the visits he used to have. Or perhaps you drive 1/3 of the way and he drives 2/3. Or you drive half but he increases child support to compensate for your time and expenses to do so.

The judge is likely to order you to meet him half way if you take it to court, if his move was necessary for work and to provide child support, so you're better of negotiating directly.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 6, 2009, 06:00 AM

The issue here is first you are not divorced and it appears no child custody agreement in place yet.

The court will give you a lot time to work out the issues, sometimes with a third party.

The issues of why he moved, since this is still in divorce, causes of the divorce may be looked at.

But yes it is very possible that 1/2 way or paying some of the travel costs may be allowed