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talaniman · Jan 5, 2009, 04:19 PM

He is mad about losing his piece on the side. Just imagine his horror that he can't get it at home, or from you, so of course he is confused. If his wife can deny him, so can you.

sully123 · Jan 5, 2009, 04:38 PM

I just don't understand not sure why you keep on going back? For what? What do you expect to get out of this? Heartache and pain. You said yourself too, your husband cheated on you, and that hurt you. Then what are you doing with this married man? Please stop all contact.

expat2009 · Jan 5, 2009, 05:18 PM

This is another sad example of the eternal human stupidity of pursuing those who hurt us the most.

When we stop pursuing, we stop hurting. Eventually.

Stop all contact, and you will hurt less and less everyday.

notsure09 · Jan 6, 2009, 06:30 AM

Yeah know it is very easy when someone is outside the circle to say just walkaway, and I know its all wrong don't think I think my behavior is good because it takes two people to have an affair, I am as guilty of this wrong doing as he he has more to lose then I do but we are both guilty. Given that he said he needed a break and I said OK what confusses me is if you need a break then take it, why the very next day text and cont. I just don't understand. Even though the texts were about a silly bet we have going I know it was to see if I would respond to him... he wanted to make sure he didn't create hostile env w/me...

notsure09 · Jan 6, 2009, 06:34 AM

Sully see that is the thing Im not going back he is the one who wanted the break I am trying to do it and he is the one who texts me...

talaniman · Jan 6, 2009, 10:53 AM

He is still trying to contact you because you let him. Its not what he does thats important, but what you do for yourself. The rest is your feelings getting in the way of good common sense, and stopping you from not only seeing the facts, but also stopping you from acting in your own behalf. His motives are irrelevant, and worrying about them is keeping you stuck, and distracted.

sully123 · Jan 6, 2009, 02:52 PM

Were not trying to hurt you notsure, you say its different when we looking from the outside circle. We aren't trying to put you down. But you keep on making excuses for him why does he text me and why does he do that. It's like your constantly looking for him to respond to you, instead of walking away. You say its hard, what is hard, he isn't your husband, he isn't yours. Honestly, you have no business to be with this man, point blank. I don't know if you just like the drama, and letting it just drag on day after day. Just don't answer the phone or text's, what is so hard about that? It's only going to come back to bite you at the end. Your not taking anyone's advice..

notsure09 · Jan 6, 2009, 03:08 PM

I am listening right now to your advice, this is new to me so Im listening it doesn't mean the things that you people here are saying doesn't sink in... Im just trying to give you an idea what I'm dealing with... I know I just don't have to answer the phone or the texts but its hard when you care about someone I know he's not mine and I shouldn't be with him, but it happen now I have to deal with it... There really isn't any drama here just confussion... Maybe right now Im weak I'm not ashamed to admit that Im truly trying to get strong so I can overcome this, but its really fresh and It will take time and some patience.. I know he's not mine I get that but right now MY heart is broken and Im trying to deal

ja77 · Jan 6, 2009, 03:27 PM

Im weak I'm not ashamed to admit that Im truly trying to get strong so I can overcome this, but its really fresh and It will take time and some patience.. I know he's not mine I get that but right now MY heart is broken and Im trying to deal

It will take strength on your part to rid yourself of this pain.

You say your hurt right now, what kind of pain do you think you would feel if this relationship was to become public knowledge and everyone knew what had happened, including meeting his wife face to face - like on the TV programe cheaters etc -

I will be honest it is not going to be easy, but you have to make that choice for yourself to make change. We can all wish you the best and point you in what we think is the correct direction, but everything is 100% you.

Have you thought about changing your phone numbers etc and blocking his emails - im's etc ? That would take away some of the issue.