Check out some similar questions!

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 3, 2009, 06:32 PM

I am a single mother and my son is 19. For most of 2008 he didn't work or go to school, just goes to friends' houses and bars until all hours of the night then disrupts my home and my sleep coming home whenever. Sometimes he comes in and then leaves several times during the night. He says this is not being disrespectful to me or my home and that he is doing nothing wrong. He does not contribute to the household financially and he does nothing in the form of household chores.

He is also verbally abusive to me, refuses to follow any boundaries (such as turning off lights to conserve energy, etc) and extremely vindictive when I give him consequences such as not beging able to access my computer.

I live in Daytona Beach Florida and have been told that unless he goes voluntarily I can't make him leave without a formal written eviction notice. That's fine but what are my rights during the 30 days or whatever? He leaves his things all over my house and basically told me that my options are to either pick them up for him or deal with his messes. He says he doesn't have enough time to clean up after himself! He also leaves his dirty dishes everywhere and says it's my job to clean the kitchen (I guess working full time to support his lazy tush isn't enough for him).

So am I stuck with giving him free room and board and maid service while being on the receiving end of his vicious slurs and verbal abuse until his notice is up? I once told him if he left his things lying all over my house I would just throw them out and he said he would throw out my things in return if I did. His room looks and smells like a toxic waste dump and he has no door so it seeps out into the rest of the house.

Would I be within my rights to get rid of some of his things? Would he be within his rights to throw my stuff out in retaliation?

He also says he has the right of free speech just like any other American citizen. Does the right of free speech apply in someone else's home?

Also with the hours he keeps it disrupts my sleep and my work is suffering. Under the circumstances do I have any legal recourse other than to give him an eviction notice and run the risk of more torment and maybe even stealing things from my home in the meantime?

Please help, I really don't know who to call for advice. (I'd call an attorney if I could afford one)

Thanks!

N0help4u · Jan 3, 2009, 06:43 PM

Tell him you have the right to free speech too and you are telling him it is time to move out.
Tell him that he needs a dose of reality rather than relying on somebody he doesn't appreciate.

He needs tough love but throwing his things away will only cause him to retaliate more.

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 3, 2009, 06:51 PM

I told him today as a matter of fact, and he said not without a 30 day written notice. Apparently he has more rights in my home than I do... he has the right to play by his own rules and hurl nasty comments at me, and I have the right to put up with whatever he chooses to throw at me until a notice has been given and is up. And by then I might be out of a job.

N0help4u · Jan 3, 2009, 06:52 PM

What state are you in. Many people assume eviction is 30 days but different states vary anywhere from 3 to 30 days. I will look it up if you give the state you are in.

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 3, 2009, 06:54 PM

I'm in Florida. I've already talked to the police and the clerk of court. I'm not sure if they said 30 days or not but they did say I have to formally evict him. BTW does that mean I have to go to court to file an eviction and if so doesn't that cost a lot of money (which I don't have?? )

N0help4u · Jan 3, 2009, 07:57 PM

Florida is a 3 day eviction

First you send him a certified letter and hand deliver a copy. (keep a copy for yourself)
If he hasn't moved then you go to the clerk of court and get a formal court eviction (another 3 days) if he still hasn't left after that the sheriffs will escort him off the property.

NOTE: The forms used for filing an eviction for possession only, may be obtained from the Clerk of Courts.

Step I. Three-Day Notice to Tenant(s) - The statutory, three-day Notice to Tenant(s) must be served by mail, hand delivered or posted prior to filing an Eviction Action.

Step II. Paperwork and Filing Fee Needed for Filing Eviction After Giving Tenant(s) the Three-Day Notice

* Complaint for Tenant Eviction (form may be obtained from Clerk)
* Copy of the three-day, statutory Notice to Tenant (defendant)
* Lease/Rental Agreement (if applicable)
*

Filing Fee of (Check with your County Clerk) in form of cash, check, MasterCard or Visa, certified check, or money order payable to (Check with your county clerk).
*

Service of Summons Fee of $?? For each tenant (defendant) in form of check or money order and payable to SHERIFF OF YOUR COUNTY, plus a self-addressed stamped envelope with sufficient postage.

Florida Evictions

You might want to also print out a copy saying 3 days since he will most likely argue that it can't be 3 days.

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 3, 2009, 10:36 PM

I have also found out that because I rent my apartment I would have to get my landlord to do the eviction. Well here's the catch 22... my son is not on the lease so if I go to the landlord I will either have to pay $100 for every month that he has been staying here as an unauthorized tenant, and possibly get evicted myself.

This is a nightmare and the only sure fire way I see to end this is to move when my lease is up in September but I will be in the poor house and/or mental ward by then.

I don't if an attorney can help me but I plan on calling one on Monday.

Wondergirl · Jan 3, 2009, 10:54 PM

Who does his laundry? What would happen if you went on strike and didn't pick up after him or wash his dishes? Don't buy any more food. Yes, you will have to suffer too, but do your major eating on your lunch break (you'll be saving money by not buying groceries that he will eat too), and stop cooking at home. (Or are there other children?) Maybe if he doesn't live at a "four-star resort" any longer, he might rethink things. Also, don't scold him or yell at him. Say nothing to him, but just shrug your shoulders and smile. Whaddya think?

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 4, 2009, 05:10 AM

I have also found out that I can't be the one to evict him as I rent the property I live in and the landlord would have to do that. The catch 22 is that my son is an unauthorized tenant and I would be facing either eviction myself or possibly a $100 fine for every month he has been here, which is 9 months.

I'm going to try and call a lawyer on my lunchbreak Monday to see what my options are.

As for "going on strike" been there done that. He has a mild mental disorder and couldn't care less about living in filth. I don't do his laundry. He does his own, maybe once a month and in the meantime he febrezes everything. I don't drink coffee but he does and once he let his coffee pot sit so long half full that things started growing in it. He finally washed it when he wanted a cup of coffee. If all the dishes are dirty he'll wash what he needs then throws it back in the sink when he's done with it. So going on strike was no help and after 3 weeks I couldn't stand it anymore and took all weekend to clean the house myself.

excon · Jan 4, 2009, 05:55 AM

Hello Blue:

THIS is NOT difficult... YOU have a landlord. Your landlord is not your sons landlord. YOU are your sons landlord. Therefore, YOU have the right to evict him. You don't NEED an attorney. It's EASY, QUICK, and CHEAP. It may take 30 days or so. Big deal.

Go to court and fill out the papers... It'll take you 10 minutes.

excon

N0help4u · Jan 4, 2009, 07:00 AM

I am pretty sure you can evict him. He is residing in the place you live and he is getting impossible for you to deal with.
I would check it out more cause it might be the landlord has to evict if he was on the lease and not paying or if he was damaging the apartment itself. You should be able to evict on the grounds that he is causing you problems.

I know it is hard living with someone like that. My son was the same way with dirty dishes and laundry. He would make a sandwich and leave the empty bread bag, cheese wrapper and lunch meat baggie for me to throw away. Then get smart with me if I said something. He was capable of losing his temper with me too at times. The best thing you can do is get him out for your peace of mind. He may hate you but at the same time he will learn life isn't a free ride and he had it too easy with you.

Do not do his laundry, buy food or give him money as Wondergirl said. Go out to a restaurant if you have to.

LisaB4657 · Jan 4, 2009, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Florida is a 3 day eviction

Florida Evictions
You might want to also print out a copy saying 3 days since he will most likely argue that it can't be 3 days.

If he argues that it can't be 3 days then he'll be right. It's a minimum of 7 days and in this case it will probably be 15 days. The 3 day notice only applies to non-payment of rent. It's 7 days to terminate a week-to-week tenancy, and 15 days to terminate a month-to-month tenancy. In this situation I believe a judge would decide that this is a month-to-month tenancy.

Nohelp, the website you're using is notorious for giving wrong or incomplete information. It might be a better idea to look at the actual statutes. The links to the statutes are in a sticky post at the top of the Real Estate Law forum.

To BlueMoodsNJustin:

In this situation you are a sublandlord and he is your subtenant. You have the right to evict him without involving your landlord. First you have to give him a written notice that his tenancy is terminated and he must vacate within 15 days. If he doesn't leave by the end of the 15 days then you go to the county court and file a lawsuit for eviction. It should not be expensive and you should not need an attorney. When it's time for the court date you show up in court with a copy of the notice you gave your son. If by some strange chance the judge decides that your son is not a tenant (unlikely, but possible), then make sure you ask the judge if you have the right to remove his property and change the locks.

After the judge grants you a judgment of eviction you have to provide it to the sheriff or constable. They will come out and post a notice of which day then will perform the eviction. That can be anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks after the judgment was issued.

N0help4u · Jan 4, 2009, 07:27 AM

Thanks I do get that mixed up sometimes between non payment vs other reasons. I was going by the link I posted but didn't notice it said otherwise.
At least he will still be in for a shock that it is not 30 days.

LisaB4657 · Jan 4, 2009, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Thanks I do get that mixed up sometimes between non payment vs other reasons. I was going by the link I posted but didn't notice it said otherwise.
At least he will still be in for a shock that it is not 30 days.

The problem with that rentlaw site is that it didn't specify that the 3 days was for non-payment only. That's why I said it was notorious for providing wrong or incomplete info.

In general, evictions for non-payment required a 3, 5, 7 or 10 day notice, depending on the state. Evictions due to termination of the tenancy require 30 days in most states but there a few exceptions, like Florida.

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 4, 2009, 07:42 AM

Is the 15 day notice something I write up myself? Does my son have to sign it? Does it need to be notarized? If it's a "do it yourself" notice is there a website with a template I could use?

Thanks for the advice, that sounds like the most reasonable so far. I still plan on calling an attorney Monday to see what they have to say but it does sound like you really know what you are talking about.

The main reason I want to call an attorney for verification is that the clerk of court specifically told me that beause I rent only my landlord can evict someone living in my home. I would rather not because as I stated he is not on the lease and would be considered an unauthorized tenant which could lead to serious consequences for me (eviction or penalties)

But thanks again and I will post a follow up after I have spoken to an attorney.

N0help4u · Jan 4, 2009, 07:55 AM

Look for a notice to quit form for evictions in fla
I use to have a free site but can't find it right now.

When you mail a copy certified he will have to sign that.
Hand him a copy and keep one for yourself as well in case he claims he never received any.

LisaB4657 · Jan 4, 2009, 08:10 AM

"To John Doe
(address)

Be advised that your tenancy is terminated effective January ____, 2009. If you have not vacated the property as of that date then a lawsuit for eviction shall be filed."

There is no need for him to sign it and you don't have to have it notarized. Just make sure that you hand it to him personally and keep a copy for yourself. You can make a notation on the bottom saying something like "Personally delivered to John Doe on January ____, 2009."

When you go to court, make sure you bring a copy of that notice and also bring a copy of your lease so you can show the judge that he is not an authorized tenant.

BlueMoodsNJustin · Jan 4, 2009, 11:23 AM

I forgot to mention that last night around 4:00 am he went postal and left screaming, "I am leaving and I am done with you." slamming the door behind him. I haven't seen or heard from him since. If he doesn't call or come home would this give me any legal recourse to "assume" he is gone and have his things moved to a storage facility thereby ending his occupancy in my home? I know I'm grasping at straws but if it could be over and done with today that would be the best thing for both of us at this point. (No chance for my to change my mind out of pity or guilt and no chance for him to charm me into changing my mind) LOL

N0help4u · Jan 4, 2009, 11:29 AM

If this is 'new' behavior for him then I would assume he means it and does not plan to come back. The only way I can see you getting in trouble if you change the locks and put his things in storage is he would have to sue you, you could probably counter sue him for damages he has done and a Judge would most likely throw it out.
If you put his stuff in storage make an itemized list of everything and give him full access. If you are paying for or need the storage area give him notice that he has xx amount of days to remove it just like the eviction notice.
He needs tough love.

LisaB4657 · Jan 4, 2009, 11:30 AM

You shouldn't assume that he has vacated for at least 15 days. Just like you have to give 15 days notice that his tenancy is terminated, he is also required to give you 15 days notice if he is terminating his tenancy. If he doesn't try to come back in 15 days then you can put his stuff in storage and mail a certified letter to his last known address informing him that his stuff is in storage.