[rach1285]

My fiancé and I have been together for over two years. I thought everything was going well with our relationship up until a few days ago. He was asleep on the couch and he got a text message. I checked it, it was a random forward from one of his friends. Then, and I don't really know why, I looked through his phone for the first time ever. There was a text message that he had sent to his ex, whom he had once told me was the only girl besides me that he ever had a crush on and was his first true love. The text message read, "You better do as I say haha." There were no other text messages between them although this was obviously a continuation of a conversation, so Im guessing he erased them which bothers me more than him just talking to her. I don't know what to do, we decided over a year ago to stop talking to our exes because it caused too much drama and we loved each other. I gave up a great friendship with my ex boyfriend because we both agreed that talking to exes was disrespectful. I now feel that he is lying and hiding things from me. I feel hurt and I am not sure if I feel the same way about him because he is not the man that I thought he was. I want to confront him about it, but how should I go about doing it? And why would he do this behind my back when we have a great friendship and relationship?

[learnintolikeme]

I think that you should be honest and tell him you read his messages ! Hard , yes but the only way to remain 100% real. Let him then have the chance to tell you about it. See if he remembers it being there first.
Good luck.

[liz28]

If your both agreed not to talk to your exes then he's breaking that agreement because you kept your end of the bargin.

The only thing you can do to have a piece of mind is to express your feelings to him now. Communication is very important and being that the two of you're getting married is a bigger reason for you to express your feelings.

Keeping it bottle in will do more harm than good and only eat you up inside, so talk it out in a calm, civil matter.

[Homegirl 50]

You two need to have a talk. You don't want to go into a marriage with this hanging over your head.

[ja77]

I agree with what others have posted on here, you really need to have an open and honest talk and explain what you have seen on the phone.

Now you need to expect that the other person is going to be very upset that you have broken there trust by looking at all the texts on their own phone.

You have also said that this was the only text on the phone, it seems that you have trust issues because you do not even know what was being sent backwards and forwards between them, but you have made 2 + 2 = 9 in your own mind.

You need to really sort your relationship out because if not you will be taking a lot of issue's into the marriage with you that in time will only pull you all apart.

[starbuck8]

I would tell him that you have something on your mind that you need to talk to him about. Sit down and ask him if he remembers the conversation you had about breaking all communication with your ex's. Then ask him if he has kept that promise, or is there something he would like to tell you. You will likely be able to gauge if there is something going on by his reaction and body language when he answers you. I wouldn't come right out and say "I saw your text msg." That would only give him a chance to quickly form an excuse.

This isn't being unfair to him by not immediately telling him that you saw the text. You can tell him later, but you will be more able to tell if he is being honest if you just ask a simple question like I said above. Don't be confrontational with him while asking either. That won't help matters. It is obvious that there was a dialougue between the two of them, and it's his responsibility to explain why, since the two of you made an agreement.

[talaniman]

No need to confront him, or jump to conclusions, simply tell him what happened, what you did, and how shocked you are about it. Then go from there.