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    Muffin22's Avatar
    Muffin22 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 30, 2008, 11:10 PM
    I am confused what should I do?
    A guy I have been mainly just friends with for close to a year now I told him I have real feelings for him and wanted to know if he does for me. I told him if he doesn't to tell me and he won't hear from me anymore. He wrote back this>> I do have feelings for you, but I don't think they are as strong as yours are. I do not want you to go away but if you feel you need to I understand, (I guess because I had said once it hurt me to not really know) then he typed BIG HUGS, like usual. Is this real caring?Does it mean he won't love me? Will he start to love me? He has told me he is slow and once told me he was scared. I am confused. Please help, sincerely?

    Thanks so much!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Dec 30, 2008, 11:36 PM
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    Have you made the mistake of investing too much emotions into this fellow, who is taking his sweet time getting to know you better? I feel that your trying to get to the next level, where he is in no hurry.
    I do have feelings for you, but I don't think they are as strong as yours are.
    That's all you need to know, and his message is very clear, he doesn't feel like you do, and that's something you have been ignoring, and that's exactly why your confused.

    Back off him, and balance your life with other people, and activities, and limit this association for a while, and see how you feel later, without worrying about him expressing his feelings to you, or you wondering what on his mind.

    Pushing for more, will only push him away, so its obvious you should give this some space, and focus on other things. He will do things in his own time if at all. Don't hold your breath though.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #3

    Dec 30, 2008, 11:42 PM

    I agree. Either this guy's trying to let you down easy, or actually really likes you, but not as much as you do. In either case, continuing to invest your emotions and time into this guy will end up badly.

    As tal said, back off a little. Give him space. You already told him how you felt about him, and now the ball's in his court. See what he does.

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